Do you think its the parents fault for the high suicide rate in the LGBT+ community?

[Exeris]

That's already where you are dead wrong. Lot of parents know shit about their own children.

It certainly doesn't help if you have a d(e)ad who tells you he's gonna kill you if you turn out gay one day.

I've heard horror stories from gay people, you cannot believe the shit they sometimes have to go through. Still, I don't think if you kill yourself, it's automatically the parents fault.

So many instances are "at fault" when someone commits suicide, it's hard to point a finger at someone specific in most cases, unless it's a clear case of mental and/or physical abuse by someone.

I still cannot understand why someone would commit suicide. Just move away, surround yourself with new people. Leave shit holes behind you and start a new life, even if you are 14 you can always just move away and get institutional help.

It's not like LGBT people who aren't accepted always have incurable crippling depression.

And that alone makes them at least partly responsible.

[isuridedes]

As a member of the LGBTQ+ community, I think trying to place fault in any one place is a misstep.

It's not any single source... it's the sheer number of sources, both internal and external.

• Parents
• Siblings
• Extended family
• Faith
• Friends
• Peers
• Community
• Society
• Legal System
• Media

It's getting better overall but there are still so many stereotypes. Representation is getting better in the media... in terms of the number of LGBTQ+ characters, but the topes are still there. Gay characters are often overwhelmingly represented as perpetually single or perpetually sleeping around. Bisexuals are often portrayed as almost predatory in their sexual conquests, and lesbians the biggest target for the "Bury Your Gays" TV trope.

Even with acceptance growing... we raise our kids in our image. We indoctrinate them from an early age that a man marries a woman, they have children and raise a family, etc, etc... the great dream.

Coming to terms with the realization that your story is different? That's not always as easy as "Mom, Dad, I like boys." and everyone hugs it out.

Even the most accepting parent goes through a grief process that parallels coming to terms with someone dying. For the LGBTQ+ person that process can be equally difficult, not just in watching your parents/friends/family/etc grieve for the dream that they had for you, but in coming to terms with who you are and what that really means.

And no matter how accepted you are in your circle... you will inevitably experience discrimination.

Consider for a moment... that there is an active 'movement' to encourage same-sex couples to hold hands in public to help "normalize" it. We have been taught to be so discreet that most of us are afraid to have any public display of affection, even so innocent as holding hands, for fear that someone might be so offended by our perceived non-conformity that they might physically assault us.

It's a physically and emotionally taxing process, and anyone who tries to dismiss this struggle as "snowflakes" is being purposefully and reprehensibly ignorant.

[The One Percent]

You can't save someone from themselves.

[Underverse]

You can't save someone from themselves.

Actually, you can.

[Allybeboba]

One person it at fault for a suicide. There is only one person that can commit that act no one "makes" someone do it.

[Underverse]

One person it at fault for a suicide. There is only one person that can commit that act no one "makes" someone do it.

Yes. But that doesn't excuse behaviors that pressure someone into thinking suicide is a viable option.

[Zandalarian Paladin]

One person it at fault for a suicide. There is only one person that can commit that act no one "makes" someone do it.

Usually, when someone commits suicide, it's because the pain of living is overwhelmingly disproportionate with the will to live. Nobody makes the conscious choice of killing themselves out of laziness or "lack of courage". I'd even argue that killing yourself require a tremendous amount of courage because you have to consciously make the choice of doing the wrong thing.

[Swalload]

The parents know that their child is not like other kids. But yet they ignore it. Why does the older generation act blind to the LGBT community? Is it sheer ignorance or just feigning it for the sake of hoping their kids will grow out if it?


99.9% of the time moms and dads both know deep down when their kids is a member of the LGBT. What kills me (or find more hilarious) is how they pretend to be shocked when their child comes out to them.

My point is that if the parents talk to their kids about it some kind of resolution can be reached i.e. acceptance and this would prevent their kids from taking their own lives out of fear of persecution or physical bullying.

So much generalization. You see a parent on TV acting surprised and you think they knew just because earlier that week you also saw a different parent who knew his kid was LGBT and automatically you assumed all parents know.

Everything is case by case. LGBT is far more widely accepted than it every was, but also the people against it a more easily vocal about it because of how easy it it with the internet and social media to speak your mind, no matter how wrong, without any consequences.

If parents are at fault for high suicide rates in LGBT community, something is at fault for making parents so against that. No one wakes up one morning at 40 years old with a gay kid and suddenly change their entire mindset and decide to hate all LGBT community. It's a social mindset that get put in there, grows and takes control over many years of being presented the wrong shit. It's like brainwash. It's like trump supporters. Yup, went there.

[Varvara Spiros Gelashvili]

Usually, when someone commits suicide, it's because the pain of living is overwhelmingly disproportionate with the will to live. Nobody makes the conscious choice of killing themselves out of laziness or "lack of courage". I'd even argue that killing yourself require a tremendous amount of courage because you have to consciously make the choice of doing the wrong thing.

I've thought about ending my life before but the fear of what's happens after scares the shit out of me. It's not even depression just general curiousity. The fact that I can't talk to someone whose done it scares me even more.

[Allybeboba]

Yes. But that doesn't excuse behaviors that pressure someone into thinking suicide is a viable option.

So you are saying that people are using the excuse that people told them to do it.

- - - Updated - - -

Usually, when someone commits suicide, it's because the pain of living is overwhelmingly disproportionate with the will to live. Nobody makes the conscious choice of killing themselves out of laziness or "lack of courage". I'd even argue that killing yourself require a tremendous amount of courage because you have to consciously make the choice of doing the wrong thing.

Either way, it is only one person's fault.
And it is NOT courageous to commit suicide. It is an act of weakness. It takes courage to go on living.

[Zandalarian Paladin]

I've thought about ending my life before but the fear of what's happens after scares the shit out of me. It's not even depression just general curiousity. The fact that I can't talk to someone whose done it scares me even more.

Also why I stated it requires tremendous courage. But frankly, we all die eventually, there's no good reason to simply fast-forward to that moment. Even less so out of curiosity.

- - - Updated - - -

Either way, it is only one person's fault.
And it is NOT courageous to commit suicide. It is an act of weakness.

It's not a fault. I used to think that. Now I don't, because I've had someone I knew do it. I don't consider this weak. You don't chug a bottle of acid if you're weak.

It's disgusting, it cause tremendous pain for the family, extended family and friends. We should try to prevent it as much as we could. Although ultimately, I do give you the point that we can only do so much.

[Underverse]

So you are saying that people are using the excuse that people told them to do it.

I'm saying that the decision is ultimately the individual's, but other people can influence that decision by harassing, bullying, or excluding them, and these actions carry negative moral value on their own for which the harassers/bulliers/excluders are responsible.

[Eazy]

One person it at fault for a suicide. There is only one person that can commit that act no one "makes" someone do it.

Uhm... No. Everyone can be broken to that level he just want to die. Trust me.

[Underverse]

Uhm... No. Everyone can be broken to that level he just want to die. Trust me.

Yes, but only one person commits the act. So he's right that an individual is entirely responsible for their suicide (and other behaviors). But he's also ignoring/failing to mention the negative moral value and responsibility attached to the actions of the oppressors. While an oppressor is not responsible for the actions of their targets, they are still responsible for their own actions and can thus still be condemned on those grounds.

[Katchii]

Without trying to be too insensitive, suicide is one of the most selfish things a person can do. It is also a VERY permanent solution to a temporary (by comparison) problem, which suggests a lack of intelligent thought in regards to problem solving. I'll sympathize with people who are going through difficult times, but suicide is never the answer, and IMO people who even consider suicide as a viable option to a problem are being extremely narrow minded and selfish.

That said, parents are who help mold you into who you are and teach you how to cope with life's shit, so if a person grows up (or is still growing up) and ends up unable to deal with the world they live in and decides to commit suicide that is partially due to how they were raised. It's ultimately their decision, so I won't blame the parents, but I will blame the parents for doing a pretty shitty job raising their child and taking care of them on an emotional level.

[Deleted]

Seeing that this thread is, to a large degree, discussing sexuality - which is not allowed - I am going to close this here.