Poll: I think the

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  1. #1

    Applying to college, who is MORE right? The kid or the mom?

    Updated story here: https://www.reddit.com/r/ApplyingToC...ents_sabotage/

    My own kids will be going to college soon enough, but I don't think I will have this issue. I found this topic on reddit, and thought it interesting.

    A young guy applied to 8 different colleges and was accepted by 7, including Harvard. For those who don't know, these applications usually cost $50 - $100 each. All the colleges are considered to be great colleges, IMO.

    He wanted to apply to more schools, but his mother said that they could not afford to apply to more schools. Somehow, he found out that his mother really just wanted to keep him closer to home, and money was not the issue.

    He's furious. And he blames his mom for - I guess his perceived "horrible future" - because she won't allow him to apply to even more schools.

    So, this hit home for me.... I will absolutely pay for my kids schools, no matter how much it hurts my wallet, and no matter where they choose to go ( I already know this info )...... but I 100% agree that the mom is within her rights to handle it however she chooses, as it is her money.

    I almost never go on reddit.... I am not even sure why I went today. But I found the thread interesting as it could be me in a while.... It won't be, but it could be....

    Who is more right?
    Last edited by Crissi; 2017-05-24 at 07:40 PM.
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  2. #2
    If they want to apply to more schools they're interest in I don't see what ht eproblem is.

  3. #3
    Deleted
    The kid can get a part time job or take on some debt, the mother is not obligated to continue paying for an adult.

  4. #4
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    No idea. But I'm mystified that they even charge for applying.

    on second thought, I do have an idea: the kid can get a job and spend the salary on applications.

  5. #5
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GarlicGuy View Post
    My own kids will be going to college soon enough, but I don't think I will have this issue. I found this topic on reddit, and thought it interesting.

    A young guy applied to 8 different colleges and was accepted by 7, including Harvard. For those who don't know, these applications usually cost $50 - $100 each. All the colleges are considered to be great colleges, IMO.

    He wanted to apply to more schools, but his mother said that they could not afford to apply to more schools. Somehow, he found out that his mother really just wanted to keep him closer to home, and money was not the issue.

    He's furious. And he blames his mom for - I guess his perceived "horrible future" - because she won't allow him to apply to even more schools.

    So, this hit home for me.... I will absolutely pay for my kids schools, no matter how much it hurts my wallet, and no matter where they choose to go...... but I 100% agree that the mom is within her rights to handle it however she chooses, as it is her money.

    I almost never go on reddit.... I am not even sure why I went today. But I found the thread interesting as it could be me in a while.... It won't be, but it could be....

    Who is more right?
    Neither are right.

    However, he was accepted into 7 schools, one of which being Harvard. Just choose one of the 7 schools, and he will have a great opportunity ahead of him.

    Note that though. Going to college is an "opportunity" at a great future. How well he applies himself at the school he selects is what will determine his future.
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  6. #6
    The Insane Dug's Avatar
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    Neither are right necessarily but I'm a tad more on the kids side. You want as many options available so that you can make the best choice for yourself. And while it is the mothers money she's being a little selfish wanting to keep him closer.

  7. #7
    Old God Captain N's Avatar
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    If he was the only kid or the last one to attend college I can see the mother being afraid of Empty Nest Syndrome but that's something she shouldn't be using as an excuse to hamstring her son's college choices.
    “You're not to be so blind with patriotism that you can't face reality. Wrong is wrong, no matter who does it or says it.”― Malcolm X

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  8. #8
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    Well if he was already accepted in some good schools so i dont see why the parent should keep paying. If the kid insists on applying to more schools he should get a job and pay for his own applications.

  9. #9
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sefrimutro View Post
    No idea. But I'm mystified that they even charge for applying.
    You'd be surprised. There are all types of applications in life that cost you money.

    For example, if you want to apply to be in an Art Exhibition, many times you will be charged to apply.
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  10. #10
    Well in this situation we have absolutely no detail except money, lol. There are reasons why the kid wants to apply to more, and reasons (beyond money) that the mom doesn't want him to apply to more school or to keep him closer to home. These things can be discussed, there are different point of views and motivations here. The outcome will be different on a case to case basis. Parents aren't always right even if they think they are or feel like they have to be, and we all know kids sometimes make stupid mistakes, but they also have a better idea of where they wanna go, sometimes they just need a little guidance from their parents and not a leash.

  11. #11
    The Unstoppable Force Puupi's Avatar
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    They both are wrong.
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  12. #12
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    If he wants to go somewhere else so badly, then he should pay for it with his own money. Getting mad at your parents when they are willing to pay for several top-end schools is just being a spoiled brat by that point.
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  13. #13
    If they kid already has good offers and want's to apply to more the onus is on him to state which college he specifically wants. If there are one or two on the top of his wishlist he should have applied to those colleges already.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by Kathandira View Post
    You'd be surprised. There are all types of applications in life that cost you money.

    For example, if you want to apply to be in an Art Exhibition, many times you will be charged to apply.
    To clarify, I'm not surprised. Only lightly perplexed.
    Private institutions gonna private institution. It's just that I'm more used to how things run here: public unis being the actually desirable place to learn.

  15. #15
    Epic! Whitedragon's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by GarlicGuy View Post
    My own kids will be going to college soon enough, but I don't think I will have this issue. I found this topic on reddit, and thought it interesting.

    A young guy applied to 8 different colleges and was accepted by 7, including Harvard. For those who don't know, these applications usually cost $50 - $100 each. All the colleges are considered to be great colleges, IMO.

    He wanted to apply to more schools, but his mother said that they could not afford to apply to more schools. Somehow, he found out that his mother really just wanted to keep him closer to home, and money was not the issue.

    He's furious. And he blames his mom for - I guess his perceived "horrible future" - because she won't allow him to apply to even more schools.

    So, this hit home for me.... I will absolutely pay for my kids schools, no matter how much it hurts my wallet, and no matter where they choose to go ( I already know this info )...... but I 100% agree that the mom is within her rights to handle it however she chooses, as it is her money.

    I almost never go on reddit.... I am not even sure why I went today. But I found the thread interesting as it could be me in a while.... It won't be, but it could be....

    Who is more right?
    The mom, especially if it's her money being used. If big names like Harvard are accepting him, and he doesn't have like 1 more school in mind that specifically tailors to his education then he really doesn't need more applications, as he is just wasting money. If he is truly "furious" about it send him to a local community collage and tell him "You are now free to do wat ever you want, but if you want more, you pay for it.".
    Last edited by Whitedragon; 2017-05-24 at 03:47 PM.

  16. #16
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sefrimutro View Post
    To clarify, I'm not surprised. Only amazed.
    Private institutions gonna private institution. It's just that I'm more used to how things run here: public unis being the actually desirable place to learn.
    It's pretty crazy to be honest. But this is the world our previous generations built for us. All we can do is live in it, and try to fix it little by little along the way.
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

    Your name will carry on through generations, and will never be forgotten.

  17. #17
    There's literally no right or wrong here.

    - If the mom is willing to pay, but only for certain colleges, the son is going to have to accept it and choose one of those.
    - If the son wants to go somewhere else, but knows his mom won't pay his way if he chooses a different college, again, that's his call.

    There is no right. There is no wrong. One is a free education if staying close to home, the other is freedom of choice, but has to be paid for himself.

  18. #18
    Quote Originally Posted by sefrimutro View Post
    To clarify, I'm not surprised. Only lightly perplexed.
    Private institutions gonna private institution. It's just that I'm more used to how things run here: public unis being the actually desirable place to learn.
    Public universities also charge for applications.
    Last edited by Themius; 2017-05-24 at 03:53 PM.

  19. #19
    Quote Originally Posted by Themius View Post
    If they want to apply to more schools they're interest in I don't see what ht eproblem is.

    OK, but after paying to apply to 8 schools, you don't think the mom can say that she won't pay for more than those?
    I am not a Republican or a Democrat..... I just hate Trump with a passion. If he was on fire I wouldn't piss on him to put him out.

  20. #20
    The Insane Kathandira's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lady Dragonheart View Post
    If he wants to go somewhere else so badly, then he should pay for it with his own money. Getting mad at your parents when they are willing to pay for several top-end schools is just being a spoiled brat by that point.
    That's the feeling I got as well.
    RIP Genn Greymane, Permabanned on 8.22.18

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