Polyamory can be an alternative to cheating: Ellie

[Mormolyce]

Can you believe this? To brazenly propose such an idea?
It seems pretty clear that you don't truly love the other person if you're okay with then doing this.

What makes you think you know how they think and feel better than they do?

[Googolplex]

Can you believe this? To brazenly propose such an idea? It seems pretty clear that you don't truly love the other person if you're okay with then doing this.

Its not for me, but I have no problem with people doing it.
It has nothing to do with lack of love btw.

[primalmatter]

I am almost sure you subconsciously think hitler was a hero.

Depends what you define as a hero to be honest. He dedicated his life to serving his country. Not everything he did was adorable but I can see things to respect in him as I can in any enemy.

[Deleted]

Who gives a shit? If consensual adults want to have more than one steady partner, go right ahead. It's not right or wrong, it's just people living their lives the way they want.

[Easo]

This works for very, VERY few people. Tennisace, please stop posting fake outrage threads.

[Deleted]

seriously, why is a concept of loving multiple people so hard to grasp? I mean, obviously its not for everyone, some people can only be romantically involved with a single person, but the thing is... in the end its love. some people love many - platonicaly. some people love many - romanticaly. do whatever works for you and STOP judging ffs. as long as they are not hurting anyone, what the hell is the problem?

Are people not allowed to have an opinion that differs from yours? Even though I think the concept is moronic and I'm not afraid to say what I think, I'm not exactly protesting against others doing so.
I'm just posting my opinion on an online message board!

What the hell is the problem with that?

[judgementofantonidas]

Can you believe this? To brazenly propose such an idea?
It seems pretty clear that you don't truly love the other person if you're okay with then doing this.

not really. sex is not love and love is not sex.

[Witchblade77]

Are people not allowed to have an opinion that differs from yours? Even though I think the concept is moronic and I'm not afraid to say what I think, I'm not exactly protesting against others doing so.
I'm just posting my opinion on an online message board!

What the hell is the problem with that?

opinion =/= fact or judgement. a lot of people here, including you, have narrow minded convictions rather then opinions. you outright deny that polyamorous relationship is a genuine relationship. yes, there is a problem with that.

[Rathwirt]

What if you're bi? You are committed to one normal hetero person, say, but once in a while you'd just really like to enjoy what your own gender has to offer. If you're polyamorous and willing to put in the work for it, that's something you could look for that your partner can't fulfill. That's just an "obvious" one. Maybe one person is asexual and doesn't enjoy sex at all but doesn't want to keep their partner from doing something they enjoy. What about pain play? Humiliation? Foot fetishes? Any other number of kinks and desires. If you're not into it but your partner is, they're giving up something for you or pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do. If you're poly, you can find somebody else for that if you like.

I've been in poly and single relationships. Both have their draws, relationships are a hell of a lot of work in any case. So do what works for you and your partner(s).

[Deleted]

opinion =/= fact or judgement. a lot of people here, including you, have narrow minded convictions rather then opinions. you outright deny that polyamorous relationship is a genuine relationship. yes, there is a problem with that.

So you're going to tell me and others what to think and what not?

- - - Updated - - -

What if you're bi? You are committed to one normal hetero person, say, but once in a while you'd just really like to enjoy what your own gender has to offer. If you're polyamorous and willing to put in the work for it, that's something you could look for that your partner can't fulfill. That's just an "obvious" one. Maybe one person is asexual and doesn't enjoy sex at all but doesn't want to keep their partner from doing something they enjoy. What about pain play? Humiliation? Foot fetishes? Any other number of kinks and desires. If you're not into it but your partner is, they're giving up something for you or pressuring you into doing something you don't want to do. If you're poly, you can find somebody else for that if you like.

I've been in poly and single relationships. Both have their draws, relationships are a hell of a lot of work in any case. So do what works for you and your partner(s).

I can't see for the life of me why a person who isn't asexual, would dive into a relationship with someone who is. You can find what if's for every little thing in your relationship that isn't perfect, in that case you can search forever and find someone who is 99% on your level or accept the chance that it isn't all going to be the way you want it to be. If you like being in a poly relationship and have someone who does then that's great for you, it still doesn't seem to work out for most who try.

[Deleted]

Tennisace being judgmental again SHOCK

Hopefully one day he will mature but I fear egotists don't change

[Rathwirt]

I can't see for the life of me why a person who isn't asexual, would dive into a relationship with someone who is.

Because they're in love and want to spend the rest of their life with that person? Maybe one party was a virgin when they met and then found they didn't enjoy sex at all after trying? Maybe one person just wants to spend all their days with somebody they can play video games with and doesn't care about other "normal" relationship stuff at all. Relationships aren't all about sex, though there is no denying that's a big part of the appeal for most.

[Fencers]

If a couple mutually desires such and are mature enough to handle the consequences of having the liberty to engage in sex outside of the coupling- open relationships can be awesome.

However, in my experience and knowledge intimate relationships outside of coupling that extend beyond sex are often disastrous. Sex is fun, it's flirty. Relationships/coupling are real and fragile- that is the actual intimacy in a relationship.

Even among couples I've known whom practiced the lifestyle, as soon as deep emotional attachment was formed with someone outside of the coupling the relationship ended.

Example, a girlfriend of mine and her husband were in the lifestyle for years but as soon as she fell in love with another man the marriage ended. The guy she fell in love with she started seeing 'on the side' unbeknownst to her husband (usually open couples discuss/allow their partners encounters). The guy she was seeing on the side was also cheating on his wife, at this point they are both "cheating" despite being in open marriages, and things fell through for them too.

The result was two divorces and two people emotionally devastated by the lack of communication and trust they had placed in their partner. My girlfriend married the guy she was cheating on first husband with and they live in Florida now. I have not talked to her in a few years.

It is a tricky line to walk admittedly. But I have not seen alt-bf/gfs work out positively for anyone in an open relationship in my experience. I think the article is kinda bs w/r/t how tricky it is to pull off. Which I have seen done zero times successfully as opposed to many open relationships I have seen and had myself that have been just wonderful for years and years.

[Deleted]

Because they're in love and want to spend the rest of their life with that person? Maybe one party was a virgin when they met and then found they didn't enjoy sex at all after trying? Maybe one person just wants to spend all their days with somebody they can play video games with and doesn't care about other "normal" relationship stuff at all. Relationships aren't all about sex, though there is no denying that's a big part of the appeal for most.

To me,it just sounds like that person in your example found his best friend. Relationships certainly aren't all about sex, but everything screams friendship in what you wrote.

[Witchblade77]

So you're going to tell me and others what to think and what not?

- - - Updated - - -



I can't see for the life of me why a person who isn't asexual, would dive into a relationship with someone who is. You can find what if's for every little thing in your relationship that isn't perfect, in that case you can search forever and find someone who is 99% on your level or accept the chance that it isn't all going to be the way you want it to be. If you like being in a poly relationship and have someone who does then that's great for you, it still doesn't seem to work out for most who try.

1. when did i ever say I was poly?
2. when did i ever say that people should jump into a relationship with a poly person, if they are not poly themselves? but here is the thing. it could still work, just like going into relationship with asexual person can still work, even if you yourself are not asexual because relationships? are not just about sex. at least successful relationships.

I know as many if not more successful long term poly relationships as I do monogamous ones. I know of 2 couple where one partner is assexual that works out. the key here is honesty and understanding what is it that you are getting into before you commit.

you are right about one thing. relationships are not perfect. but they don't need to be perfect to be functional and happy, THAT is the point.

[solinari6]

This works for very, VERY few people. Tennisace, please stop posting fake outrage threads.

I wouldn't say that. Maybe for straight people, I guess, but it's kinda the norm in the gay world.

[Deleted]

I wouldn't say that. Maybe for straight people, I guess, but it's kinda the norm in the gay world.

It's not that normal

I agree it's more common but certainly not normal

[Cosmic Janitor]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Po4adxJxqZk

If this wasn't from some comedy show and instead depicted real life we all know how it would turn out: She shaggs a whole NBA team regularily and he would end up paying for some phone sex with "Big Mama" .

[Deleted]

1. when did i ever say I was poly?
2. when did i ever say that people should jump into a relationship with a poly person, if they are not poly themselves? but here is the thing. it could still work, just like going into relationship with asexual person can still work, even if you yourself are not asexual because relationships? are not just about sex. at least successful relationships.

I know as many if not more successful long term poly relationships as I do monogamous ones. I know of 2 couple where one partner is assexual that works out. the key here is honesty and understanding what is it that you are getting into before you commit.

you are right about one thing. relationships are not perfect. but they don't need to be perfect to be functional and happy, THAT is the point.

I was wondering whether I should have added "speaking in general" or not. I'll remember to always do this in the future.

[Mistame]

Hitler died trying to prevent this shit.

Yeah, that's what happens when you try to control other people's lives.