open bar at a wedding?

[Zemuron]

Tonight I was at an open bar at a wedding. The venue said that open bar does not include shots. This was a surprise to the bride and groom, who were paying per person per hour for booze. Has anyone else ever heard of a venue that doesn't include shots in an open bar?

[Detritivores]

Weddings are a set up for a drunken shit show in the first place since everyone drinks liquor drinks that they aren't used to. Add shots on top of that and you're asking to clean up vomit on the dance floor. It is super common for venues to not provide shots. I bought all our alcohol for my wedding, hired my own bartenders, and the only way anyone got a shot was if myself or my wife said so. Otherwise, you end up with a pile of degenerates doing OMG FREE SHOTS until they make a scene. Not sure why your bride and groom weren't aware though. Should have come up in planning and booking.

[belfpala]

Yes, I've been to plenty of "open bar" events. It depends on the contract negotiated by the hosts. Some have been open beer/wine, guests pay for shots. Some have been open everything. Some had each guest receive a number of drink tokens/tickets.

If the bride and groom feel they paid for more than they received, they'll have to take it up with the vendor.

[Deleted]

Dunno, I tend to avoid "open bar" events. Brings out the worst in people.

[Tyranastus]

We had an "open bar" at our wedding. Out of the 20 or so venues we looked at before settling on our venue, all of the "open bar" conditions were the same: No shots, spirits not included unless specified by the Bride/Groom. So that meant that the guests had their pick of beers/ciders, wine, soft drinks etc, and the bridal party and important figures/guests were allowed spirits mixed or on ice. So to my knowledge, no, a ban on shots doesn't seem out of the ordinary to me.

We didn't have anyone over-indulge at all, but ridiculously, half way through the wedding, my brother told me he'd been cut off. When I went to investigate, they said that he was getting three drinks at a time and that was why he'd been cut off. I explained that he was getting drinks for my wife and I, and eventually we had to get the owner/managers out to discuss it with them before he was allowed to have alcohol again.
The point: sometimes bar rules make sense (no shots), sometimes they are simply over zealous and paranoid.

[WskyDK]

We had a totally open bar at my wedding.
Was pretty chill. Only had one person get real shitty, and that's because he and his (unbeknownst to us) gf (who was also in the wedding party and sitting next to him) broke up the day before.

[Rotted]

Weddings are a set up for a drunken shit show in the first place since everyone drinks liquor drinks that they aren't used to. Add shots on top of that and you're asking to clean up vomit on the dance floor. It is super common for venues to not provide shots. I bought all our alcohol for my wedding, hired my own bartenders, and the only way anyone got a shot was if myself or my wife said so. Otherwise, you end up with a pile of degenerates doing OMG FREE SHOTS until they make a scene. Not sure why your bride and groom weren't aware though. Should have come up in planning and booking.

Where we live, it's really really rare to have an open bar due to costs and how much the bridge and groom make. You could very easily rack up a huge bill for drinks. That being said, funny enough last week my folks went to our cousins wedding, and the had a open bar and it included everything that they normally have on the menu. That included shots, but more so snaps, tequila, usual spirits like whiskey, sour etc, I'd imagine they'd have some after shock or Sambucca which are pretty common in bars of all sorts here, I'd doubt they had absinthe or similar though,

Honestly though I've just asked everyone at the table here have they ever heard of restrictions, let me put a little emphases on this, my mother has managed three pubs and restaurants which have done weddings or wedding receptions and she's never heard of it. My old man has done head chefing in the above and before he met my mother, including wedding dinners / buffets both in the public venue and for private parties, with most having open bars. My partner has been employed for a year in a venue and done two weddings, and they've all said any restrictions like that aren't common (here anyway) but they'd understand if they were imposed, but it would be more cost related for the bridge and groom, not with people being ill.

like that and they've all said no but would think it would be more so related to costs, more so than people being ill.

- - - Updated - - -

We had an "open bar" at our wedding. Out of the 20 or so venues we looked at before settling on our venue, all of the "open bar" conditions were the same: No shots, spirits not included unless specified by the Bride/Groom. So that meant that the guests had their pick of beers/ciders, wine, soft drinks etc, and the bridal party and important figures/guests were allowed spirits mixed or on ice. So to my knowledge, no, a ban on shots doesn't seem out of the ordinary to me.

That's not a open bar to be fair, that like a half board bar?

[Hooked]

Tonight I was at an open bar at a wedding. The venue said that open bar does not include shots. This was a surprise to the bride and groom, who were paying per person per hour for booze. Has anyone else ever heard of a venue that doesn't include shots in an open bar?

They probably didn't want some idiot to come in and get shitfaced in half an hour and ruin the party, I agree with no shots.

[Independent voter]

We have kegs of beer and red solo cups.

[gutnbrg]

I work at a 4star wedding venue on Long Island, NY. We are a no shot house, of course we make exceptions for the bride and groom to celebrate with a few people with a shot or 2...also its not uncommon for a bartender to give out shots if there is a big enough tip involved.

[Kynario]

Weddings are a set up for a drunken shit show in the first place since everyone drinks liquor drinks that they aren't used to. Add shots on top of that and you're asking to clean up vomit on the dance floor. It is super common for venues to not provide shots. I bought all our alcohol for my wedding, hired my own bartenders, and the only way anyone got a shot was if myself or my wife said so. Otherwise, you end up with a pile of degenerates doing OMG FREE SHOTS until they make a scene. Not sure why your bride and groom weren't aware though. Should have come up in planning and booking.

This. ^^ Well put.

[Radaney]

Dunno, I tend to avoid "open bar" events. Brings out the worst in people.

Alcohol in a nutshell.

[Aoyi]

I got married at a winery and that included an open bar for our guests. I ended up missing my own wedding cake because I was busy trying to find a guest of mine who was super drunk and acting like an idiot out in the field. I was really looking forward to eating that cake too. Side note: if you are getting married with a large reception, make sure you stop and eat. Our plates were taken away while we were talking to our guests and our slices of cake were taken away when we were looking for that idiot. We left there starving.

[Deleted]

I got married at a winery and that included an open bar for our guests. I ended up missing my own wedding cake because I was busy trying to find a guest of mine who was super drunk and acting like an idiot out in the field. I was really looking forward to eating that cake too. Side note: if you are getting married with a large reception, make sure you stop and eat. Our plates were taken away while we were talking to our guests and our slices of cake were taken away when we were looking for that idiot. We left there starving.

Eating the cake at the wedding? I have literally never been to a wedding where the couple eat the cake. Am I alone here?

The general consensus I have had is normally 1 shot at a time, to avoid people lining up about 10 and then potentially ruining the evening. Yes, you can keep ordering them, but they would normally move to someone else at the bar before returning, ala like an average bar.

The open bars I have been to normally

[Kapadons]

Used to run a wedding venue.

Mostly this was set up before time with bride and groom/wedding planner. They decided what was or wasn't paid for.

We can do beer and wine is open, shots pay. Or not shots at all. Or everything is cash basis. I've seen it every way. One of the more popular ones was fully open bar but no actual shots but mixed drinks. The thinking there was it would take people longer to drink a rum and coke than a tequila shot, so the naturally pace themselves better. Leading to people less likely to try and grab the bride by the pussy.

[Allybeboba]

I provided open bar to two of my daughter's weddings. We provided the liquor and hired the bartender. I guess people could have had shots if they wanted them. Most people were opting for mixed drinks from I could tell.

[TheTaurenOrc]

At my wedding beer and wine was unlimited. No hard liquor at all. I didn't drop $18k so extended relatives can get wasted on my day. Hell no.

[Pony Soldier]

No open bars at weddings sound like a boring miserable time for the guests, at least to me. Getting tipsy is what makes weddings fun. You don't get outright drunk but just enough to get you tipsy. First part is of course the well mannered part of the wedding but the after party is when it's time to have fun and let loose and there's no better way than to have some beers and shots, shots, shots. Mixed drinks are also nice.

Also I'm a very socially awkward person without booze. Give me some golden encouragement and I feel like I'm what I wish I could be like (energetic and social). It's like a key that unlocks my inner social potential that I would never be able to tap into fully without it. I just lack the wit to carry on an interesting conversation with someone. Unless we're talking about movies or video games then I could talk all day.

[Soikona]

My wedding had them... no problems at all. Been to a few, shots included. No problems. Maybe Americans can't handle their drink? Never met one that has on all my holidays.

[Jimson]

Tonight I was at an open bar at a wedding. The venue said that open bar does not include shots. This was a surprise to the bride and groom, who were paying per person per hour for booze. Has anyone else ever heard of a venue that doesn't include shots in an open bar?

When I got married we had an open bar (beer on tap + liquor on a tier basis [we chose cheap tier, cause we're cheap drunks]). They'd make you mixed drinks all night long but would not pour a shot. Presumably to prevent someone from ordering a tray of them and then trying to do a 21-gun salute to the bride and killing himself with alcohol poisoning.

Personally, I didn't care at all about it, but some members of my family were put out by it and went across the street to a bar to have some shots. /shrug