Can you generally tell when someone is faking that they care about you?

[Doctor Amadeus]

Can you generally tell when someone is faking that they care about you?


More importantly do you appreciate it, is it something you value when people say things they don't believe about you too be true, and what is more if you died, would you rather people you hated or maybe hated you in life to some how make shit up about how they liked you, or you had some kind of fondness for each other that never existed?

[Independent voter]

Call them up at midnight and tell them you left your car lights on and drained the battery and can they come and jump start your car. Better yet when it's raining or snowing.

[Deleted]

You can tell that Trump just fakes caring about America, all he cares about is how much profit he can make.

[A dot Ham]

You can tell that Trump just fakes caring about America, all he cares about is how much profit he can make.

Meanwhile...

[Bushtuckrman]

You can tell that Trump just fakes caring about America, all he cares about is how much profit he can make.

Even in a tame normal thread somebody still manages to salt it with the tasty tears of liberal derangement!

[Celista]

I mean...I assume people care about me until proven otherwise. I don't suspiciously question everything and everyone by asking my friends/loved ones to prove their love/loyalty.

Also, your poll is weird. Why be "friends" with someone who doesn't care about you? Go make real friends.

[Revi]

I don't understand why anyone would be pretending to care about me. Pretending to like me in some social setting or at work, maybe, but care? Why?

[Doctor Amadeus]

I mean...I assume people care about me until proven otherwise. I don't suspiciously question everything and everyone by asking my friends/loved ones to prove their love/loyalty.

Also, your poll is weird. Why be "friends" with someone who doesn't care about you? Go make real friends.

Not talking about friends, otherwise I would agree, I mean just in general.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I don't understand why anyone would be pretending to care about me. Pretending to like me in some social setting or at work, maybe, but care? Why?

Just in General, I mean if people hate me, I am totally ok with them behaving accordingly sure beats, beating around the bush. I still think you can hate someone and be decent or civil.

I reject however this notion that we should all be expected to feel and extend some kind of special treatment especially in dire circumstances.

If someone hated my guts in life, I sure as hell wouldn't rather they say " Well he was a swell guy, etc etc" At the very best say nothing, but if you want to, go ahead let er rip.

The Idea that we are all friends deep down is bullshit.

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Don't be a dick and people will care about you, that's what I know at least

What if you don't want some people to care about you, I mean as a general rule, people that hate me, I will admit they have good reason because I am sure I have gone out of my way to give it to them.

If I cared about them I wouldn't have, I would expect the same in return.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I dunno how to answer, I like to think that no one hates me, so I've never met a person I've not wanted to care about me, sure, I'm indifferent to some people but that's just the way it is for everyone

Well if you never done something to someone either out of revenge or anything else, rest assured you are probably not hated, because if you were you would know, because you did something wrong or right to earn it.

As for just anyone liking me, some people like have a faulty process and failure of logic and reason, and as such are really horrible people I would rather not be liked by, people who mean well are more dangerous than people that mean you harm.

[Celista]

Not talking about friends, otherwise I would agree, I mean just in general.

Ahh okay. Well if it's acquaintances then I don't care. But I wouldn't assume we're friends and invite them out to do things.

Generally speaking, being civil to someone no matter what is a good approach.

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Don't be a dick and people will care about you, that's what I know at least

That's a good rule to live by

[Doctor Amadeus]

Ahh okay. Well if it's acquaintances then I don't care. But I wouldn't assume we're friends and invite them out to do things.

Generally speaking, being civil to someone no matter what is a good approach.

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That's a good rule to live by

Well for self preservation sure, but I think dishonesty comes with it's own range of problems as well. To me being civil is not the same as being as nice to someone as they think I ought to be. Being especially rude is a different matter to me it's the same as being fake and friendly. It denotes concern or attention for someone you either don't care about or hate.

[Nurvus]

You know, Mall Security, someone can simply be kind and friendly.
Could you be misinterpreting that for "caring" for you in a special way?

Because when someone asks the question you asked, it's usually as the result of a series of leaps of logic based on a couple events - some of which the person was nice to you, and others the person disappointed you.

[endersblade]

To date, nobody has ever cared about me the way I care about others. I will go out of my way, sacrifice everything I have, to make sure my friends are OK, safe, food to eat, roof over head, etc. None of my friends have ever, not once, done something to that extent for me. I could be starving, not a thing to eat, they could have just gotten a paycheck, but wouldn't spare a dime to get me some food. On the reverse, I could have $2 in my account, starving myself, but I would give up that $2 to make sure they had something to eat. Even if it was just a box of ramen.

I am almost 36 years old, and never once have I found a friend, or fuck, even a girlfriend, who reciprocates the love and care I do for them. It really makes me think I'm just doing things wrong and letting people take advantage of me. Maybe I should start being more of an asshole like they are.

[Doctor Amadeus]

You know, Mall Security, someone can simply be kind and friendly.
Could you be misinterpreting that for "caring" for you in a special way?

Because usually when someone asks the question you asked, it's because someone did something nice to you in one or more moments, and disappointed in other moments, and you went and made all sorts of logical assessments based on your own insecurities.

Hmm?

Not without a reason they can't. It's nice to be nice for sure, but being nice at the very least means giving for something you want to take from someone, sometimes it's just comfort. That can lead to other things like co signing their assumptions.

[Nurvus]

To date, nobody has ever cared about me the way I care about others. I will go out of my way, sacrifice everything I have, to make sure my friends are OK, safe, food to eat, roof over head, etc. None of my friends have ever, not once, done something to that extent for me. I could be starving, not a thing to eat, they could have just gotten a paycheck, but wouldn't spare a dime to get me some food. On the reverse, I could have $2 in my account, starving myself, but I would give up that $2 to make sure they had something to eat. Even if it was just a box of ramen.

I am almost 36 years old, and never once have I found a friend, or fuck, even a girlfriend, who reciprocates the love and care I do for them. It really makes me think I'm just doing things wrong and letting people take advantage of me. Maybe I should start being more of an asshole like they are.

Or look for different kinds of people, in different kinds of circles.

[Doctor Amadeus]

To date, nobody has ever cared about me the way I care about others. I will go out of my way, sacrifice everything I have, to make sure my friends are OK, safe, food to eat, roof over head, etc. None of my friends have ever, not once, done something to that extent for me. I could be starving, not a thing to eat, they could have just gotten a paycheck, but wouldn't spare a dime to get me some food. On the reverse, I could have $2 in my account, starving myself, but I would give up that $2 to make sure they had something to eat. Even if it was just a box of ramen.

I am almost 36 years old, and never once have I found a friend, or fuck, even a girlfriend, who reciprocates the love and care I do for them. It really makes me think I'm just doing things wrong and letting people take advantage of me. Maybe I should start being more of an asshole like they are.

You need to get better friends, you sound like a pretty exceptional friend, the problem is you build way too much, maybe on too little from what you described, of which I am sure you are aware. Maybe it something you resigned you can't help, and that is fair.


But also remember caring for others isn't something you do out of expectation or obligation. However nothing wrong with excluding people in your life that don't give a fuck about you though.

And no being an asshole is not the right route either, because it's a reaction reflex from being hurt, something you have every right to feel. But more important you deserve to learn from it, and find worthy friends, because when you do, you will know 100% what a friend is and a friend isn't and reserve that status.

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[Nurvus]

Not without a reason they can't. It's nice to be nice for sure, but being nice at the very least means giving for something you want to take from someone, sometimes it's just comfort. That can lead to other things like co signing their assumptions.

Sometimes you just feel like the other person needed that help and you did your part.
It's really not always give with the intention of getting something in return.
Really not at all.
Maybe it's different here in Portugal.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Sometimes you just feel like the other person needed that help and you did your part.
It's really not always give with the intention of getting something in return.
Really not at all.
Maybe it's different here in Portugal.

Well but why, and I mean that real answer?

I mean in general, being civil and decent towards others works for everybody, unless their value isn't in being decent towards everybody. You might be in Portugal but you are still on Earth.

Your over all feeling towards your neighbors has to do with your environment for the most part.

[Nurvus]

Well but why, and I mean that real answer?

I mean in general, being civil and decent towards others works for everybody, unless their value isn't in being decent towards everybody. You might be in Portugal but you are still on Earth.

Your over all feeling towards your neighbors has to do with your environment for the most part.

Has to do with your outlook on life as well.
How you view yourself.
And even if it isn't in your nature, sometimes people are nice because they're "making up" for something they feel they didn't do well (not necessarily to the same person). Like "evening" their karma.
So many reasons for someone to do something for you with no secondary intentions that may seem to you to be "special".