How often do you go on dates?

[THE Bigzoman]

We try to do something different and unique with what little time we have. Once every few months so far.

[Deleted]

Stop telling him what to do. You're only making it worse by being a nanny.

Because just putting on your blinds and ignoring red flags, thinking "yeah, he'll sort that out on his own" is totally the way to go, right? If the dude is unwell, he should be encouraged to seek help to break the cycle, and if people hear it enough, perhaps they might.

[Faesroll]

Wish I could have one, too much of a social reject to get myself a date.

[Tommy T]

Wish I could have one, too much of a social reject to get myself a date.

Go on Tinder or Plenty of Fish.

Take 10 minutes to create a decent looking profile.
If you're a guy and you're going through a dry spell (and are bothered by it), there's literally no excuse.

So easy. Most of the dates are superficial as fuck, but hey, a lot of the time you get something out of it, and hey, who knows, you could meet someone you like.


@OP

Depends. Sometimes none in a few months. Sometimes 3 or 4 in a month. It's about what I want I guess.

[Nuvuk]

Almost 10 years ago.

[Zandalarian Paladin]

That's probably how it is for most people... But it's a human reaction to try to sell themselves well to someone we're interested in. Takes a while to get over it, and it actually makes it a lot more fun.

I suppose that going on dates when you're in an already established relationship can be nice - I just don't see myself being able to lower the masquerade in that type of situation.

How did you manage to get over it?

[Deleted]

I suppose that going on dates when you're in an already established relationship can be nice - I just don't see myself being able to lower the masquerade in that type of situation.

How did you manage to get over it?

Perhaps I gave the wrong idea here. I was referring to dates while being single. But trial and error, I guess. If you pretend to be what you're not, it'll inevitably come back to bite you in the ass somehow, so why not just learn to be who you are, which will be much more relaxing for everyone involved.

And dates in a fixed relationship... I don't know. It doesn't really fall under my definition of a date. If you're already in the relationship, clearly the person care for you, so what's there to masquerade? I've been with my wife for 8 years, and I wouldn't say we go on dates. We just do husband and wife-stuff.

[Deleted]

Whenever I feel like it

[Zandalarian Paladin]

Perhaps I gave the wrong idea here. I was referring to dates while being single. But trial and error, I guess. If you pretend to be what you're not, it'll inevitably come back to bite you in the ass somehow, so why not just learn to be who you are, which will be much more relaxing for everyone involved.

And dates in a fixed relationship... I don't know. It doesn't really fall under my definition of a date. If you're already in the relationship, clearly the person care for you, so what's there to masquerade? I've been with my wife for 8 years, and I wouldn't say we go on dates. We just do husband and wife-stuff.

I spoke of both, but I admit it wasn't very clear. By date in a relationship, I suppose, as you say, that it's not really a date. It's just regular relationship activities.

You're right on the first point too, where it's better to be yourself than put a mask. The anxiety just makes this much harder and the fear of rejection can make you awkward. It's just incredibly draining.

[Deleted]

I spoke of both, but I admit it wasn't very clear. By date in a relationship, I suppose, as you say, that it's not really a date. It's just regular relationship activities.

You're right on the first point too, where it's better to be yourself than put a mask. The anxiety just makes this much harder and the fear of rejection can make you awkward. It's just incredibly draining.

I have never really felt this way regarding dating

[shadowmouse]

How often do you do it?

I'm not as young as I used to be, so I'm slowing down. Nowadays, never more than seven times a night. Pity, really.

Oh, erm, snap, I read that wrong. Dates? Don't trick me, this doesn't involve fruit, right?

Fiancee 2.1 and I recently got back together and we're doing the fast track to registering as married. We probably make a special evening of it by going out and doing something fun at least 3 times a week.

[Vizardlorde]

never been on one

[Zandalarian Paladin]

I have never really felt this way regarding dating

Went on two dates, both has been a disaster. Once went on a date with a good guy who turned out to be extremely emotionally dependent - had a hard time just to get out of the date which lasted several hours and I felt like crap for the next two weeks (and ignored the guy, which didn't help). The other was at (another guy's) home, ended up watching him play games for hours before he had to leave because of a phone call. I'd like to say it was because of me, but turns out his grandmother really got admitted to the hospital. He wanted to try again a few weeks later, but I said no.

As a gay guy yourself, how do you manage that? I mean not only can dates be awkward, you have to find people to date in the first place. Internet is crap for that and even though we're in 2017, people are still incredibly closed about their sexuality. And no, going out in bars is not a valid option. Too many people, too much noise. How do you even get to speak to people in these places?

[Mister Cheese]

Not very often anymore. I am trying to find a stable job first and get my life in order before I try to start getting into a lasting relationship.

[NoRest4Wicked]

Once or twice a month. I count a date with my wife as going out without our kids (6mo and 3yr), so we have to line up a baby sitter. Makes it a little harder to do.

Before we had kids, usually 1-3 times a week.

[Deleted]

Never found that option in my games.

[The Glitch]

Myself and the hubby have been together 15 years now, and we don't have a date night as such, we just kinda see how the mood takes us and we usually end up going out once a week, where we go for a walk around the Loch, grab a bag of chips or take a flask of hot choccie etc, spend some quality time together, or go for a meal, heck we even have baking sessions, baking cookies or brownies, just good fun spent together

[Deleted]

You're right on the first point too, where it's better to be yourself than put a mask. The anxiety just makes this much harder and the fear of rejection can make you awkward. It's just incredibly draining.

That might be the essence of it, learning that rejection isn't a necessarily a personal thing, it just means that the chemistry isn't really there. And we all get rejected, every last one of us. It sucks, but the sooner we learn that 1, it's not a summation of our entire character, and 2, nothing really happens if we get rejected, we're free to try out so much more and actually make it a pleasant experience. Maybe it's just something that comes with age.

[Deleted]

Went on two dates, both has been a disaster. Once went on a date with a good guy who turned out to be extremely emotionally dependent - had a hard time just to get out of the date which lasted several hours and I felt like crap for the next two weeks (and ignored the guy, which didn't help). The other was at (another guy's) home, ended up watching him play games for hours before he had to leave because of a phone call. I'd like to say it was because of me, but turns out his grandmother really got admitted to the hospital. He wanted to try again a few weeks later, but I said no.

As a gay guy yourself, how do you manage that? I mean not only can dates be awkward, you have to find people to date in the first place. Internet is crap for that and even though we're in 2017, people are still incredibly closed about their sexuality. And no, going out in bars is not a valid option. Too many people, too much noise. How do you even get to speak to people in these places?

Honestly I found online dating very effective in the mid 2000s. Yeah you would find timewasters (usually a 80/29 ratio) but I quickly picked up on the signs and 90% of my dating experience was initiated online. Gay bars are usually just one-night territory and with the rise of Grindr I think many have become just lazy. So personally I would say try online still just don't get too emotionally invested until after the date

[Teraparte]

Every week or so. Usually Cheesecake Factory.