Page 6 of 8 FirstFirst ...
4
5
6
7
8
LastLast
  1. #101
    I guess it's fine. I am not super excited about it, but I don't really have any problems going through in my head again and again, so I suppose I am kinda happy.

  2. #102
    I am Murloc! shadowmouse's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dongbei, PRC ... for now
    Posts
    5,909
    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26
    Not sure how that would go over with a Chinese girl.
    The tricky part is the difference between direct and indirect communication, you have to be able to pick up the hints because what is being said isn't precisely what it may sound like. Where it gets really complicated is that both what is said and what is implied may have meaning, and those meanings are not necessarily seen as contradictory or incompatible -- even when they might seem like it to you or I. As a Greek, you may not really have the inclination and patience to put up with it, and that's understandable.

    As for bride price, that gets complex too. She may not have been hard core about that, but she is answerable to her parents, and her parents are expected to be able to look good in the community. In a low context culture, we see things as between you and her, and all that other stuff (which in China includes 'face') makes little to no sense. We sometimes seem equally strange to them for not seeing connections which they view as normal and necessary.

    Quote Originally Posted by Daneman
    LOL! My girlfriend once said while we were drinking that if I would cheat on her, she would cut my dick off when I was asleep.
    Oops! You might want to look up bungee's comment about feeding the ducks, and why Thailand is a world leader in penis reattachment. That isn't a joke or mock fierceness in an argument, that's fair warning. Here's a case from China: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ach-China.html Twice, mind you, twice!
    With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.

  3. #103
    Quote Originally Posted by bungeebungee View Post
    Oops! You might want to look up bungee's comment about feeding the ducks, and why Thailand is a world leader in penis reattachment. That isn't a joke or mock fierceness in an argument, that's fair warning. Here's a case from China: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/arti...ach-China.html Twice, mind you, twice!
    No joke, that's completely right.

    My ex joked about it constantly. Was off-putting sometimes.

  4. #104
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26 View Post
    No joke, that's completely right.

    My ex joked about it constantly. Was off-putting sometimes.
    wtf is there something wrong with thai women?? how can they think that is acceptable to say?

  5. #105
    Quote Originally Posted by Matoni View Post
    wtf is there something wrong with thai women?? how can they think that is acceptable to say?
    You know it's a bad time when you wake up and she's gone from the bed. First thing I did was reach down and make sure all was where it should be.

  6. #106
    Banned Nitro Fun's Avatar
    7+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Aug 2016
    Location
    Born in USA, currently living in Taipei
    Posts
    1,760
    Quote Originally Posted by Daneman View Post
    What region? Mine is from udon thani originally but have been some time in denmark.
    Stay the fuck away from isaan girls. They're just going to skin you off your money, they'll say their parents are sick and in need of money, playing on your sympathies to provide for their family and her. As soon as you stop funneling money to them, the relationship is done for.

    Worst case scenario they convince you to buy lands and a house in thailand but due to thai law you can't actually own it, so you put it on the girl and then she's got herself a house that you paid for, that she and her family likely will move into that you won't get to use because by law, she owns it.
    Last edited by Nitro Fun; 2017-06-26 at 09:54 AM.

  7. #107
    I am Murloc! shadowmouse's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dongbei, PRC ... for now
    Posts
    5,909
    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26
    My ex joked about it constantly. Was off-putting sometimes.
    Understandable, but if Thai culture runs similar to Chinese culture, there may have also been a bit of culture clash. China has sajiao, which can lead to bizarre situations where the woman makes what we would see as unreasonable demands that are intended to make the man feel like he is taking care of her. Conversely, my oldest daughter used to date a guy that frustrated her because she'd grown up quite a tomboy to fight having a tendency towards brittle bones. For example, she would play basketball with the guys and be right in the middle of things under the net. As a result, she was competent about things seen as manly, and it irked the hell out of her that he would break something trying to fix it with no clue what he was doing, and she had to let him do it or he would feel he lost face. One step further is when a woman will seem excessively controlling, where the sentiment intended is that she is taking care of you and she cares about you. The feed the duck jokes are evidently part of Thai culture (Beetlej ... oops, I mean @lightspark *3), but may have carried an intended message that she cared about you. In a sense, in what seems rather perverse to our sense of logic, not joking about it would mean she didn't care enough about you to care if you kept a mistress.

    [Side note -- I'm told that part of the whole feeding the ducks thing goes back to a time when Thai guys would have a wife they were married to by agreement between the families, then if they had the money they would keep a secondary wife on the side, and might even buy girls from their families. This, of course, meant that money and attention were not getting spent on the main wife. I gather that the habit Chinese wives have of wanting to manage the family money is similar, it keeps the guys on a short leash and not out partying with KTV girls when business has him out drinking half the night with his buddies.]

    Fiancee 2.1 really did suggest that I should turn over my salary to her, she would manage our expenses *and* give me a budget of 100 RMB/day! On one hand, she is right, that's a common way for Chinese households to handle money. In her case, she does most of our day to day shopping because (wait, that scream you heard was Mao on the 100 RMB note) she makes our money go a lot further. She was even showing a degree of generosity by saying she would give me 100 RMB/day -- in fact 50 RMB or less is fairly common. Really, she's very good about discussing household expenditures with me, she spends more money on me than I would myself, and my personal expenses would rarely come up to 100 RMB/day even as a bachelor. The whole talk was an indirect compliment to me, and a chance for me to compliment her back by playing along.
    With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.

  8. #108
    A lot of the weebs with anime avatars are saying no they are not.... I'm not surprised actually!

    For me, I am very happy. I hate my job but I love the money that allows me to do the stuff I want. I only work 30 hours a week so I have plenty of time for a hobby, chill with my mates and my family. We are not rich, but we don't have money problems either. What else more can a man ask for?

  9. #109
    Quote Originally Posted by imunreal View Post
    A lot of the weebs with anime avatars are saying no they are not.... I'm not surprised actually!

    For me, I am very happy. I hate my job but I love the money that allows me to do the stuff I want. I only work 30 hours a week so I have plenty of time for a hobby, chill with my mates and my family. We are not rich, but we don't have money problems either. What else more can a man ask for?
    What does anime avatar have to do with it?

  10. #110
    Quote Originally Posted by Freighter View Post
    What does anime avatar have to do with it?
    Just reporting what I noticed. Interpret how you see fit.

  11. #111
    Quote Originally Posted by bungeebungee View Post
    Understandable, but if Thai culture runs similar to Chinese culture, there may have also been a bit of culture clash. China has sajiao, which can lead to bizarre situations where the woman makes what we would see as unreasonable demands that are intended to make the man feel like he is taking care of her. Conversely, my oldest daughter used to date a guy that frustrated her because she'd grown up quite a tomboy to fight having a tendency towards brittle bones. For example, she would play basketball with the guys and be right in the middle of things under the net. As a result, she was competent about things seen as manly, and it irked the hell out of her that he would break something trying to fix it with no clue what he was doing, and she had to let him do it or he would feel he lost face. One step further is when a woman will seem excessively controlling, where the sentiment intended is that she is taking care of you and she cares about you. The feed the duck jokes are evidently part of Thai culture (Beetlej ... oops, I mean @lightspark *3), but may have carried an intended message that she cared about you. In a sense, in what seems rather perverse to our sense of logic, not joking about it would mean she didn't care enough about you to care if you kept a mistress.

    [Side note -- I'm told that part of the whole feeding the ducks thing goes back to a time when Thai guys would have a wife they were married to by agreement between the families, then if they had the money they would keep a secondary wife on the side, and might even buy girls from their families. This, of course, meant that money and attention were not getting spent on the main wife. I gather that the habit Chinese wives have of wanting to manage the family money is similar, it keeps the guys on a short leash and not out partying with KTV girls when business has him out drinking half the night with his buddies.]

    Fiancee 2.1 really did suggest that I should turn over my salary to her, she would manage our expenses *and* give me a budget of 100 RMB/day! On one hand, she is right, that's a common way for Chinese households to handle money. In her case, she does most of our day to day shopping because (wait, that scream you heard was Mao on the 100 RMB note) she makes our money go a lot further. She was even showing a degree of generosity by saying she would give me 100 RMB/day -- in fact 50 RMB or less is fairly common. Really, she's very good about discussing household expenditures with me, she spends more money on me than I would myself, and my personal expenses would rarely come up to 100 RMB/day even as a bachelor. The whole talk was an indirect compliment to me, and a chance for me to compliment her back by playing along.
    That all makes sense, and in moderation I could probably handle it. I dunno, I do respect a certain degree of directness. I know some cultures are more subtle in their communication. And that's fine, but sometimes you just need to hammer out an issue, even if it is unpleasant.

    But I'm sure it wasn't just culture. She said she'd want to beat our children if they misbehaved. I told her that's not acceptable. I can understand a swat here or there, but full-on beatings? No.

    The few Chinese women I've known seem a good bit different, at least they seem to have a good head on their shoulders. My closest friend in college was from Hong Kong. She was smart as a whip, and was a tomboy even though she didn't dress up like one. We helped each other through some real bad times. In retrospect I had feelings for her, but ruining a decade+ long friendship just to see if there was anything mutual seems wasteful to me. That and she's 4'11 and joked about how someone my size can be terrifying. I'm 6'4 and built like a (insert various solid, heavy-duty outdoor object or vehicle here).

    But yeah, I can see how my ex did something similar to sajiao.

  12. #112
    You can generally tell how much someone is happy with their life in the way they treat other people.

    That said; you're all a bunch of 'orrible cunts.
    Quote Originally Posted by Shalcker View Post
    Posting here is primarily a way to strengthen your own viewpoint against common counter-arguments.

  13. #113
    The Patient Jaelian's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Dec 2010
    Location
    Caerdydd, Cymru
    Posts
    334
    Cant say i'm 100% happy with where I am right now, its better than it has been but there always feels like I'm missing something.

    But despite that I am thankful for the life I live and how I have most things available if I want them.. knowing that not everyone is as lucky in this world as I am.

    Hunter| Warlock | Shaman | Paladin
    "In the light.. We are one"


  14. #114
    Ojou-sama Medusa Cascade's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Jan 2010
    Location
    Kawasaki City
    Posts
    4,038
    Fuck no.....

  15. #115
    Deleted
    Nope. I hold all the power to change my life, with money to burn, time to spare, but no motivation to do so. Lived some wild years after two broken relationships, packed up my shit and moved to another country for a year, and came back with the same empty feeling I had before.

    Being completely apathetic and having a tendency to avoid any and all helping hands is a great combination.

  16. #116
    Mechagnome Incarnia's Avatar
    15+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Mar 2009
    Location
    Northern Sweden
    Posts
    738
    Both yes and no I guess. I can't say that I go around disliking my life on a day to day basis, it is more that I am in a state of not knowing how to get to where I want to be - but also at the same time being aware of the reality that it could prove impossible for me (health restrictions).

    I am currently not happy, but also not unhappy. I often feel stuck, like I'm in a vacuum. However, my life is much better now than what it used to be and that knowledge does make me somewhat content with things. A large portion of my childhood, all teenage years and the first couple of my young adult years were complete garbage(to put it mildly) and I am honestly quite surprised that I managed to survive all the shit I've been through. Would've been easy to give up somewhere along the way. So my previous life experiences does put a whole lot into perspective for me, which helps me a ton today, with staying positive about the future and my life.

  17. #117
    No. I think that when you sit down and say you're happy, that's when you stop improving. I need to get physically active again.

  18. #118
    I am Murloc! shadowmouse's Avatar
    10+ Year Old Account
    Join Date
    Oct 2012
    Location
    Dongbei, PRC ... for now
    Posts
    5,909
    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26
    That all makes sense, and in moderation I could probably handle it. I dunno, I do respect a certain degree of directness. I know some cultures are more subtle in their communication. And that's fine, but sometimes you just need to hammer out an issue, even if it is unpleasant.
    I like to joke that Fiancee 2.1 and I are getting married because I can't speak more than phrasal, survival Chinese and she can't reliably count to 10 or recite the alphabet in English. It means we have to keep things simple, we have to remember the language difference (which in turn helps us pay attention to culture differences) and it takes a certain determination to fight over stuff. She can, apparently, be quite indirect and difficult to understand by Northeast Chinese standards, but we've know each other for something like seven years and I've learned how to follow her hints and logic. Since we rely on machine translation and Pleco, I can avoid some of the worse confusion when she gets a character wrong.

    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26
    But I'm sure it wasn't just culture. She said she'd want to beat our children if they misbehaved. I told her that's not acceptable. I can understand a swat here or there, but full-on beatings? No.
    There were probably some weird cultural cues there too. I'm sure Fiancee 2.1 would say the same, but at the same time I've seen how she deals with kids. She adores them and a full on beating would be like a storm of feathers. I've seen her do it to her little poodle in cases where it seriously screwed up (she dotes on it to) and while there is much clucking, scolding, and even exclamations such as "Wo da ni! Da ni! Da ni de pigu!' (roughly "I'll beat you! Beat you! Beat your ass!) she barely even flattens the poodle's fur, and the poodle's reaction is basically "snap, I pissed her off good, didn't I?" Where indirect communication is the norm, pissing mom off to the point of a disturbance is a mark one really went over the line.

    Times have changed, at least here. There was a time when beatings were a very real threat that might well be delivered with a carpet beater, an extension cord, or who knows what. That would have been back when she was a kid or earlier.

    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26
    The few Chinese women I've known seem a good bit different, at least they seem to have a good head on their shoulders. My closest friend in college was from Hong Kong. She was smart as a whip, and was a tomboy even though she didn't dress up like one.
    Well, I think rather highly of my daughters. My Chinese students used to run 80% female, and the ones who went on to study overseas in particular were a very bright and competitive crew.

    Quote Originally Posted by atsawin26
    That and she's 4'11
    Fiancee 2.1 would kill to be 4'11, or at least be willing to go up to grievous bodily harm -- killing might require at least 5' even. She's 4'9".
    With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.

  19. #119
    In a word, yes. I am happy with my life.

    A lot of people especially in the West don't really view life the way I see it. Life is a journey and the destination is eternal life in the hereafter, heaven or hell. Your earthly lives are nothing but a blink in the grand scheme of things.

  20. #120
    Quote Originally Posted by bungeebungee View Post
    One step further is when a woman will seem excessively controlling, where the sentiment intended is that she is taking care of you and she cares about you. The feed the duck jokes are evidently part of Thai culture (Beetlej ... oops, I mean @lightspark *3), but may have carried an intended message that she cared about you. In a sense, in what seems rather perverse to our sense of logic, not joking about it would mean she didn't care enough about you to care if you kept a mistress.
    Man, despite being half-Asian and living in Siam now (still), I NEVER date Thai women. Waaaaaaaaaaaay too much PITA.

    As for penis de-/re-attachment. I mean the act itself is extremely common here, thus jokes about it are common too. BTW, flushing it down the toilet is the most common way to get rid of it
    Last edited by ls-; 2017-06-26 at 12:02 PM.

Posting Permissions

  • You may not post new threads
  • You may not post replies
  • You may not post attachments
  • You may not edit your posts
  •