Originally Posted by
Dys
"I love you son, see you in 10 years!"
My "dad" pulled that shit. Started showing up when I was 10 or 11, every 4-6 months. He'd come around, buy me some stupid shit, usually a toy or video game, then slink back off in to obscurity. I guess that counted as effort and parenting to him, since he had the nerve to ask me to go live with him and take part in his business once I turned 18. It was very easy to turn him down and simply never worry about talking to him again. To me, he's just some dude that didn't want his money, because that's the narrative that he established with his actions and methods.
Take it from someone who was the kid in that situation, if you want him to love and respect you, show up weekly. Go to his school events, sport matches, whatever the hell he is doing. Support him by being there. Your presence will show your feelings more than any other thing you can possibly do for him. If you can't make it, call him and let him know, don't just blow him off. Don't simply just give him stuff to try to win him over either, or you'll become that "dude that doesn't want his money". Be a DAD, not a dud like mine was. Work hard at the relationship, be consistent and be mindful of his needs while keeping a tab on his wants for those special rewards, and you'll get to be a real father eventually.