Havent seen my son in 10 years

[Symphonic]

Now now, don't speak for all of us. I left my daughters father years ago (and I come from a divorced family) and I never bad mouth her father in front of her and I don't brain wash her either.

reminds me of this news story I saw about this divorced mother and father, and the dad who has the kids on weekends or something like that, would celebrate his ex's mother's day and never talk bad about her, and wanted to instill a sense of respect for their mom and for bringing their children into existence.

Also your username... went to film school, and we got rights from the company back in europe who owns the copyright to make a movie based off the videogame... hasn't happened yet but... one day there will be a movie!

[cubby]

I have a son, saw him untill he was 2 and then broke up with his mother. I was at the birth, changed his dipers, feed him stood awake for nights and so on you get the picture.

After 2 years the mother and i broke up but i saw my son on neutral ground at his grandparents house. When i met my now wife (11years marrige) the mother of my son started to find reason and started to cause trouble so i couldnt see him anymore. So i said, i will break up the contact and when my son is old enough tell him about me and i am there for him. This is like 10 years ago.

Now i had to get in touch with the mother regarding entertains i couldnt pay because for the last 1 year of unemployment and i had the feeling that she will never tell my son about me. Now i regret my descision deeply that i broke up the contact and i am thinking about to get contact to him again.

What you guys think how to tackle this difficult situation? When i saw him last time he just started walking and talking...i must be a complete stranger to him by now.

You will be, but that doesn't matter. You're his father and you will never not be - build the relationship back up.

You'll need to consult an attorney if the mother is unwilling to let you see him.

[PhantasmagoriaX]

Also your username... went to film school, and we got rights from the company back in europe who owns the copyright to make a movie based off the videogame... hasn't happened yet but... one day there will be a movie!

That is awesome and I will be looking forward to it

[Shynra]

I have a son, saw him untill he was 2 and then broke up with his mother. I was at the birth, changed his dipers, feed him stood awake for nights and so on you get the picture.

After 2 years the mother and i broke up but i saw my son on neutral ground at his grandparents house. When i met my now wife (11years marrige) the mother of my son started to find reason and started to cause trouble so i couldnt see him anymore. So i said, i will break up the contact and when my son is old enough tell him about me and i am there for him. This is like 10 years ago.

Now i had to get in touch with the mother regarding entertains i couldnt pay because for the last 1 year of unemployment and i had the feeling that she will never tell my son about me. Now i regret my descision deeply that i broke up the contact and i am thinking about to get contact to him again.

What you guys think how to tackle this difficult situation? When i saw him last time he just started walking and talking...i must be a complete stranger to him by now.

Did you steal this story off of Imgur?

[Amerrol]

I think you made a mistake breaking off contact. My parents were split as well, and if my dad wasn't in my life for most of my childhood it would kind of be hard to see him as family if he suddenly appeared when I was 18. Not saying it would be impossible if he was earnest and made an effort, but it would be a huge bridge to cross.

I would try speaking to the mother about slowly regaining contact, though that may be difficult if you two don't get along. Forcing the issue isn't a good idea though either, because you'll seem like the bad guy. I remember my mom trying to poison my mind a lot against my dad when I was younger because they didn't get along, so it's always a risk. You're pretty much a stranger to your son, so he's gonna take her side.

Take it slow, but get started now, don't wait until he's an adult.

[elaina]

If you want to have a real relationship with your son, you need to get that rolling asap. Don't just hang back in the shadows. You need to be the bigger person and make it known to him (Not just his mother, hopefully you can actually speak to him at some point) that you're offering your support. He doesn't know the situation and who knows how his mom has explained ANY of it to him, or if she downplays you or never talks about it or what. It won't be easy to work if she is trying to shut you out, but you totally have every right to try and reach out to him.

If any kind of violence or aggression played out between you and the mother you have your work cut out for you and it will basically have to be on her terms, but you can still try.

[Deleted]

And who is the one who determines that the child doesn't want to see the father? The mother. Who do people believe? The mother.



How was the relationship between your parents? I know in many cases the child is quick to take sides when the one they stay with is the one stopping contact.

Again the mum is a bitch argument doesn't wash with me

[PosPosPos]

Traits? Personality is mostly biological.

There's a reason identical twins have almost the exact same personalities even when growing up in completely different enviroments.

Yeah, and this claim of yours is equally valid as the flat earth theory.

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Again the mum is a bitch argument doesn't wash with me

You are arguing with someone who's just making shit statistics up out of thin air.

[halflaloafofkungfu]

Courts can't completely deny a fathers right to see their child(ren) unless he's done something quite bad in the eyes of the law. He may not get full custody, but he can still request partial or visitation rights.

yes they can if the parent is deemed unfit. or at least in the state of Texas they can. i am sure its pretty rare that it happens but unfortunately i went threw a divorce so i am familiar with process. most people that get denied are doing jail time or in recovery.

[Ellarielle]

Like other posters have said, make a real effort just to be there for your kid and show up to his events etc. My mom left my biological dad when I was 2 or 3, by 7 I had already figured out he wasn't worth my time or effort. He would show up every so often with gifts and candy but as a little girl all I wanted was him to show up on my birthday for breakfast, which he failed to do among other things. I remember waiting around all day for him to show up while my mom just kept making excuses. Pretty much broke my heart at the time.

My mom remarried and my step dad is my dad not the guy that contributed biologically.

[Deleted]

At age 12, he's already probably grown some resentments towards you. Beware of that.

This is coming from someone who didn't meet there biological father until his teen years. I grew resentment towards my father around age 10 and I didn't even know who he was until several years later.

Yes, I hated someone I didn't even know for years just for the sole fact that I didn't know him.