ASPD or Emotional and Attachment disorders?

[Jokerfiend]

Hi.

The last couple of years, I have been receiving therapy. I have been to a couple of qualified doctors and therapists, and now have conflicting diagnosis.

Doctor One has the diagnosis of ASPD or Anti-social personality disorder - informally known as sociopathy with severe PTSD due to numerous traumas.

Doc Two, says no friggin' way. That I have Emotional Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

The only thing both doctors agree on is severe PTSD.

Doctor One diagnosis is not help-able. I almost killed myself after I got this diagnosis, because of how severe it is. I was hospitalized for a week. It's basically not being human. No empathy or sympathy. No love or really any emotion. So what's the point of living like that...

Doc Two diagnosis can be helped, but it's a never ending battle, as I was told. I have to be on meds and weekly therapy for the rest of my life. I don't really want this either, because it's like never ending torment. A handicap on life and love..

My say, I agree with doctor two, because I feel emotions. It's just very strained and hard to grasp. Empathy and sympathy are hard to come by, if at all.

I'm so torn, because both are close in diagnosis, but I don't really match either one.

I guess the point of this post was to vent a bit, and get a reaction as to what people might think. Maybe there are some professionals lurking that can help me. I dunno, I just need some advice.

[Sunseeker]

Go to a third doctor?

[Jokerfiend]

Go to a third doctor?

I was told by one of the doctors that, if I get any more opinions, they would drop me as a patient and I kinda need them right now. The reasoning for this, as I was told was trust and conflicting information. Just look what happened, when I got a second opinion.

[Sunseeker]

I was told by one of the doctors that, if I get any more opinions, they would drop me as a patient and I kinda need them right now. The reasoning for this, as I was told was trust and conflicting information. Just look what happened, when I got a second opinion.

That's bullshit. I mean sure they can drop you but it makes no fucking sense other than that they really don't want to deal with you to begin with. If two people are saying two different things, logically getting a 3rd opinion makes sense. If the 3rd person agrees with either of the former two opinions, that's your most likely answer.

Still, beyond that I don't have any good suggestions for you. One has treatment options that suck, the other has no treatment options at all.

[Halyon]

Well, do you want to improve? Then take the therapy and meds. You're human. A flawed one, sure, but still human. Humans have problems. Not all are the same, not all are treated equally. It's gonna be hard, and it's gonna be tough, it's gonna be painful, but the way to go is forward. If it can be improved to a livable point, then you've come a long way, and it's possible if you have the will to get there.

You could go for a third opinion, get a good psychologist.

[Thoughtful Trolli]

buy a hooker and do everything you can to be normal all the way to ejactulation, then when you're ready buy another hooker and do everything you can to be normal all the way to ejaculation, and as soon as you've completed the second step you'll realize you've only imagined value in the vagina, and be free/cured.

[Jokerfiend]

Well, do you want to improve? Then take the therapy and meds. You're human. A flawed one, sure, but still human. Humans have problems. Not all are the same, not all are treated equally. It's gonna be hard, and it's gonna be tough, it's gonna be painful, but the way to go is forward. If it can be improved to a livable point, then you've come a long way, and it's possible if you have the will to get there.

You could go for a third opinion, get a good psychologist.

Doctor Two, is the one of the best in the state. Honestly, a good psychologist, I trust him.

He also referred me to doctor one, as I couldn't afford to see him anymore. Doctor two gave me charity when I needed it the most, in some of my darkest hours. When I told Doctor Two of Doctor One diagnosis, he apologized, but advised me to continue therapy with doctor one. I trust him, so I will do as he says.

I know it's a bit convoluted, and was told this why getting a second opinion in psychology is awful. Much less a third.

- - - Updated - - -

That's bullshit. I mean sure they can drop you but it makes no fucking sense other than that they really don't want to deal with you to begin with. If two people are saying two different things, logically getting a 3rd opinion makes sense. If the 3rd person agrees with either of the former two opinions, that's your most likely answer.

Still, beyond that I don't have any good suggestions for you. One has treatment options that suck, the other has no treatment options at all.

Yeah, I know. I'm so complicated that I have been through several therapists. The first couple, I haven't even mentioned, they just referred me to outside help. Which here I am... stuck in a terrible quandary.

[Doomislav]

Mental illness is such a hard thing to accept. When your body is broke, it heals. Bones mend, you heal or you die. Mental illness is an ongoing process however. You are going to have to learn how to treat and live with your condition if you want to have a functional life.

It's cruel, it's not fair, but you have to accept the hard work to help yourself.

And try prayer. God didn't make us so broke there's no hope.

[Freighter]

I was told by one of the doctors that, if I get any more opinions, they would drop me as a patient and I kinda need them right now. The reasoning for this, as I was told was trust and conflicting information. Just look what happened, when I got a second opinion.

Maybe they suspect malingering due to conflicting information?

[Jokerfiend]

Mental illness is such a hard thing to accept. When your body is broke, it heals. Bones mend, you heal or you die. Mental illness is an ongoing process however. You are going to have to learn how to treat and live with your condition if you want to have a functional life.

It's cruel, it's not fair, but you have to accept the hard work to help yourself.

And try prayer. God didn't make us so broke there's no hope.

Yeah, it's taken me out of the kitchen. Which is where I used to work. All of this started after I punched a hole in the wall at the restaurant I worked at, after coming into a disaster. With no resolution or accommodation from my Chef. Rather than act like a well adjusted functioning adult. I acted like a man-child and threw a tantrum. It resulted me getting arrested(because of the vandalism and refusing to leave the premises) and sentenced to counseling.

Doubt I will work ever again, honestly. With that on my record and I'm not right in the head. All I do is right now is sit and wait for my disability hearing.

I appreciate all the people responding and trying. Just needed to vent.

[De Lupe]

Get a third opinion and don't tell the first two.

[Jokerfiend]

Maybe they suspect malingering due to conflicting information?

I'm hardly malingering. Trust me, if you knew the half of what has happened to me. You wouldn't doubt it. It's a dark and terrible life. I've been abused in about every way possible.

The problem, I have is I don't know where personal responsibility ends and what happened to me begins. Because I went on to be an abuser myself, and in the grief and shame of my existence, I don't want to live anymore. I hold on for a couple of reasons, but as I've got older now. I have realized it not quite enough. As much as I love and care for my family, I cannot love and care for myself.

If you knew the half of what I have done, and had done to me. You'd say my whole family needs a hail of bullets to eliminate our gene pool. And I wouldn't blame you in the slightest. I feel I honestly deserve it.

- - - Updated - - -

Get a third opinion and don't tell the first two.

How does that help me live an honest and clean lifestyle?

Lying, and manipulating the truth is like crack for me. If I'm lying and being dishonest with you, is because I am using you for something. I'm not using my therapists for anything.. I honestly need them.

I'm getting better, not worse.

[Halyon]

Doctor Two, is the one of the best in the state. Honestly, a good psychologist, I trust him.

He also referred me to doctor one, as I couldn't afford to see him anymore. Doctor two gave me charity when I needed it the most, in some of my darkest hours. When I told Doctor Two of Doctor One diagnosis, he apologized, but advised me to continue therapy with doctor one. I trust him, so I will do as he says.

I know it's a bit convoluted, and was told this why getting a second opinion in psychology is awful. Much less a third.

I assume you live in the US? Is there no sort of government support programs or anything you can look at?

[Independent voter]

If either diagnoses turns out true it doesn't mean it's the end. You can learn to cope and practice skills that will help you integrate with society. Surely they must of told you what your next steps should be after giving you the diagnosis?

[Dr Assbandit]

Maybe they suspect malingering due to conflicting information?

Even if a patient is malingering, to my knowledge threatening to drop a patient's care when they only want to seek a 2nd (or 3rd) opinion rather than address their concerns is highly unethical and arguably prone to litigation. Of course I'm not privy to his medical records but assuming OP is being truthful that physician can be reported to the medical board.

There are instances of course where you can refer patient care to a different physician, this scenario doesn't fall in those.

[Jokerfiend]

I assume you live in the US? Is there no sort of government support programs or anything you can look at?

I'm on Medicaid, currently. It's the only reason I can even go to the doctor. But Doctor Two isn't cheap, and Medicaid won't subsidizes his costs. At 300$ an hour. He gave me charity for 100 an hour and after 20 sessions, he said his charity was up. I don't blame him for that. He has costs to operate, considering he has to schedule his classes(he teaches at a University), according to how many patients he has. He was seeing me on his lunch break for damn near 6 months, once a week.

But I get all the support I can from the government... it's just not enough sometimes.

[Freighter]

Even if a patient is malingering, to my knowledge threatening to drop a patient's care when they only want to seek a 2nd (or 3rd) opinion rather than address their concerns is highly unethical and arguably prone to litigation. Of course I'm not privy to his medical records but assuming OP is being truthful that physician can be reported to the medical board.

There are instances of course where you can refer patient care to a different physician, this scenario doesn't fall in those.

Aha, didn't know that.

What's up with your avatar? It's horrifying.

[Jokerfiend]

Even if a patient is malingering, to my knowledge threatening to drop a patient's care when they only want to seek a 2nd (or 3rd) opinion rather than address their concerns is highly unethical and arguably prone to litigation. Of course I'm not privy to his medical records but assuming OP is being truthful that physician can be reported to the medical board.

There are instances of course where you can refer patient care to a different physician, this scenario doesn't fall in those.

I'm being truthful as I can, without giving away personal information.

Don't know anything about this statement. Not like I want to litigate my doctor anyways. I just assumed that he seen a break in trust, but that wasn't the case. He just gave me such a serious diagnosis that I couldn't live with that.

[Dr Assbandit]

Hi.

The last couple of years, I have been receiving therapy. I have been to a couple of qualified doctors and therapists, and now have conflicting diagnosis.

Doctor One has the diagnosis of ASPD or Anti-social personality disorder - informally known as sociopathy with severe PTSD due to numerous traumas.

Doc Two, says no friggin' way. That I have Emotional Disorder and Reactive Attachment Disorder.

The only thing both doctors agree on is severe PTSD.

Doctor One diagnosis is not help-able. I almost killed myself after I got this diagnosis, because of how severe it is. I was hospitalized for a week. It's basically not being human. No empathy or sympathy. No love or really any emotion. So what's the point of living like that...

Doc Two diagnosis can be helped, but it's a never ending battle, as I was told. I have to be on meds and weekly therapy for the rest of my life. I don't really want this either, because it's like never ending torment. A handicap on life and love..

My say, I agree with doctor two, because I feel emotions. It's just very strained and hard to grasp. Empathy and sympathy are hard to come by, if at all.

I'm so torn, because both are close in diagnosis, but I don't really match either one.

I guess the point of this post was to vent a bit, and get a reaction as to what people might think. Maybe there are some professionals lurking that can help me. I dunno, I just need some advice.

Sorry to hear you're having a rough time and your feelings of frustration are very valid and understandable. As someone mentioned earlier mental illness is so complex and at times frustrating because people can't see it in the surface unless your have an obvious physical manifestation. As such hearing "just get over it" can be disheartening and I'm glad to hear you're trying to address the issue which will hopefully lead to a higher quality of life for you.

I don't have access to your medical records so I can't comment on the care your primary care physician is administering, but please understand that while it can be very frustrating, treating mental health isn't an exact science in a number of cases and it's an ongoing process to see which procedure or medication works. Tell your physician exactly what's bothering you, that you feel your diagnosis doesn't fit, and your current state of mind and emotions regarding the whole ordeal. Chances are that they might have picked up on symptoms from your history that you might not even be aware of and there's nothing wrong with that.

Unless the treatment has been going on for a while I would strongly suggest that you find a healthy way as an outlet for your frustration, even if it's something as small as venting to strangers on a video game forum . If you feel social enough then try to spend some time in the company of friends, family, or where people who share any hobbies you might have gather. Lastly if your treatment has been going on for a while then definitely bring up all of your concerns and thoughts with your physician, and be completely open and frank with them. Since you mentioned he's well known in your area I would give him the benefit of the doubt on his expertise.

[Jokerfiend]

If either diagnoses turns out true it doesn't mean it's the end. You can learn to cope and practice skills that will help you integrate with society. Surely they must of told you what your next steps should be after giving you the diagnosis?

Basically doctor one is under qualified to help, it seems. That doesn't mean he is terrible, I'd say the opposite. It just means that he wasn't taught or trained in how to deal with me, I think.