Online Dating, I forgot!

[Radaney]

Using dating sites can be pretty risky in the UK, there's actually a lot of crime related to them.

I still use Tinder though.

[shadowmouse]

Speaking of context, learn satire.

Or perhaps you should learn to write clearly because there is a reason we have emoji. Invoking "satire" is one of the go to cop outs of the Internet. As far as editing, post what you mean to say and proof before you post. Once it goes up, it ain't my job to keep checking to see if you changed your mind.

The onus is on you (or her) to ensure it translates correctly.

Communication style and perception are something aside from language fluency.

There are studies that show culture has influence on a person all the way down to involuntary reactions. For example those from a low context culture will view a picture from the center foreground and then work their way to the edges of the picture. For high context, the pattern is reversed. The interesting part is that when either are asked to describe the picture, their description follows the way their eyes viewed the scene. Similarly, two groups of students were given simple math problems. Those in the high context group showed more activity in the parts of their brain tied to images.

Edit: @Mistame Thanks where thanks are due, I saw your edit and appreciated it. Yes, from our standpoint I suppose it may well seem too "emo".

[docterfreeze]

You go on online dating sites if you want to find a girl from Thailand or the Philippines.

[Mistame]

Or perhaps you should learn to write clearly because there is a reason we have emoji.

There was an emoji that you conveniently left off. In both the original and the edited version.

As far as editing, post what you mean to say and proof before you post. Once it goes up, it ain't my job to keep checking to see if you changed your mind.

Fine, I'll proof my posts if you stop sitting on quotes for 20+ minutes without checking for edits.

You might want to actually read up on what we're talking about. Communication style and perception are something aside from language fluency.

And yet we're on a forum exclusively using the written word. If she means some other "context" besides just "ugly", she needs to clarify that. After all, this is an English forum.

[shadowmouse]

There was an emoji that you conveniently left off. In both the original and the edited version.

The point being that electronic communications (SMS, email, etc) have them because the other person can't see you to pick up visual clues to your intent.

Fine, I'll proof my posts if you stop sitting on quotes for 20+ minutes without checking for edits.

Bad luck, Chief. I play 'em as I find 'em. Proofread.

After all, this is an English forum.

I notice that the emoji doesn't copy pasta. Still, rolleyes right back at ya.

Do you understand what you wrote? WFT is "English"? Let me give you a hint, we have a bunch of native speakers here, and their dialects are by no means the same. That's just at a dictionary level.

Beyond that, I'll say it again -- culture differences are *culture* differences, and that goes outside of what language is being used. Are you "that" tourist? The one that goes everywhere is if everyplace is just New Jersey and they'll understand you if you just say it louder? Seriously, in this day and age you can't wrap your head around culture differences and simply fall back on this is an English forum?

[scmpoe]

Okay, so I took pictures of everyone I swiped for some minutes, if it hadn't been so time consuming I'd do it for 100.

http://i.imgur.com/5js8R0l.jpg

None of those are what I'd consider hot men, didn't swipe right on anyone.

What's the proof for this? Certainly doesn't seem to be the case in Singapore for tinder.

That's your problem (no offense to Asian men, but that's just how it is on average). Come to a major city in the US and try it.

[Stelio Kontos]

I generally don't trust folks ragging on the appearances of others when they're not willing to show what they look like.

[shadowmouse]

@atsawin26 Well, we did have the string of fake Asian females and they posted pics of "themselves". On the other hand, after the stalker stuff Megitsune put up with, I can see someone not wanting to go through that.

[Mistame]

The point being that electronic communications (SMS, email, etc) have them because the other person can't see you to pick up visual clues to your intent.

And yet you apparently missed the emoji in the relevant post. That is, assuming you actually read it before you replied.

I notice that the emoji doesn't copy pasta. Still, rolleyes right back at ya.

Not sure why you're copy/pasting when there's quote and multi-quote buttons. Also, plain text mode for the editor works wonders.

Do you understand what you wrote? WFT is "English"? Let me give you a hint, we have a bunch of native speakers here, and their dialects are by no means the same. That's just at a dictionary level.

Beyond that, I'll say it again -- culture differences are *culture* differences, and that goes outside of what language is being used. Are you "that" tourist? The one that goes everywhere is if everyplace is just New Jersey and they'll understand you if you just say it louder? Seriously, in this day and age you can't wrap your head around culture differences and simply fall back on this is an English forum?

You don't seem to be getting the point. You felt the need point out that her using "ugly" has a different context due to her culture. And that's fine, when speaking in that context/language. My point about this being an English forum is simply this: If you wish to communicate and do so effectively on this forum, the onus is on you to ensure you understand the nuances and context of the language and of what you're trying to say. Your comment implies an obligation on the part of everyone to adjust their perception to compensate for the difference in culture. There is no such obligation.

[Freighter]

I generally don't trust folks ragging on the appearances of others when they're not willing to show what they look like.

I had my picture posted earlier and I had posted my given name in a thread and as a result a fucking creep on the forum tracked my facebook down and posted to the forum.

[Stelio Kontos]

I had my picture posted earlier and I had posted my given name in a thread and as a result a fucking creep on the forum tracked my facebook down and posted to the forum.

Oh, I'm not asking to see anyone's pic, I just don't put a lot of value behind folks calling out others' appearances on the internet. I usually assume they're a hideous slag/slob.

But I do agree, creeps everywhere online.

[shadowmouse]

And yet you apparently missed the emoji in the relevant post. That is, assuming you actually read it before you replied.

I read it just fine. Surprise, there are even studies that show emoji use varies by age and culture. For me, that ain't the secret signal for sarcasm, that's the "yuck" face and indicates distaste.

Not sure why you're copy/pasting when there's quote and multi-quote buttons. Also, plain text mode for the editor works wonders.

Probably because between ads, adblockers, China filtering US sites, non Chinese sites worried about Chinese spam, and who knows what else, I'm getting to enter everything by hand. It will get sorted out in a week or two.

You don't seem to be getting the point. You felt the need point out that her using "ugly" has a different context due to her culture. And that's fine, when speaking in that context/language. My point about this being an English forum is simply this: If you wish to communicate and do so effectively on this forum, the onus is on you to ensure you understand the nuances and context of the language and of what you're trying to say. Your comment implies an obligation on the part of everyone to adjust their perception to compensate for the difference in culture. There is no such obligation.

You're the one not getting the point, and trying to force everything into the box you know. For the love of kittens, since you can't be assed to actually click the links in my early response, at least be bright enough to use Google and get an idea that there is a specific use for "high context" and "low context" in cross cultural communication. If you can't bother to inform yourself on that point, you're just being pig ignorant

Your "point" about this being an English language forum is based on language; however, this is also an international forum, with posters from all over the world. There is no "onus" such as you've dreamed up, effective communication requires effort from both sides and it would be better if some of our members would remember that. As I've already noted, studies on the difference between cultures have shown that the difference takes place at such a basic level that it shows up as different parts of the brain firing while processing math problems or the shifting focus of their eyes.

Culture influences perception and even how we describe things. You truly think your 7 means anything clear to the rest of us? It doesn't, and beauty contests make their money from those small differences in taste. A whole bunch of young women, already selected for their beauty go through their routines, and in the end only one of them walks off as Miss Sweet Potato Queen or whatever. You're also expecting your readers to fill in something to give your randomly chosen number meaning. You're low context as far as I know, so was the other poster in that exchange. I merely observed the difference in communication style based on cultural differences.

To put it more simply for you, ugly is in the dictionary but there is no fixed metric for it. Beauty, or its lack, is in the eye of the beholder and its perception is rooted in culture, whether you like that or not. You aren't the beholder, she is. It isn't up to her to convince you that fairer skin, for example, would be more handsome -- no more than it is up to @THE Bigzoman to justify his preference for butts. Her language is clear and she has used multiple pictures to show what she doesn't find attractive, you're simply failing to think outside your own perceptions. In the same vein, I don't like Brussels Sprouts, hate 'em. You might love them. It isn't up to me to convince you why I hate them or that my hatred is reasonable, go ahead have another serving but keep them off of my plate.

[Freighter]

That's your problem (no offense to Asian men, but that's just how it is on average). Come to a major city in the US and try it.

I doubt it's any different in the US.

[Deleted]

Do you think a obese woman is going to get many swipes?

People like this:



Are superliking me on there. The vast majority of men on tinder are not attractive and are not a choice in the first place.

If I'd swipe right 100 times I'd probably get 100 matches but I would only have interest in maybe 1 or 2 of them.

He looks 15

[Freighter]

He looks 15

No, he doesn't look 15?!

[Deleted]

No, he doesn't look 15?!

He does - maybe 18 at a push

[bitterwinter]

I'm not really one for online dating myself. I have this "traditional" mindset where I want to meet someone naturally but right now I think the chances of that are pretty slim I would be worried meeting up with a guy I met though a dating app though - unless I got to know them beforehand really well and that level of trust was built upon. Still, I'll probably cave one day and give it a whirl.

[Deleted]

I've been meeting people from the net since I was 16 so it comes natural to me. Regarding PoF I was banned without given a reason

[bitterwinter]

I've been meeting people from the net since I was 16 so it comes natural to me. Regarding PoF I was banned without given a reason

How is it? Some of my online friends do want to meet one day and I continuously feel bad turning them down; I suppose it just feels like it'd be a bit awkward at first?

[pateuvasiliu]

My standards aren't high. It's just that tinder is filled with men like what I just linked, there's no choice among them. They're ugly.

Then imagine what it's like being a hot dude trying to find a hot girl.

Again. For every X men there are far fewer women, which means if your standards as a male are equal to say, yours, it would be even harder for them to find a suitable partner than it is for you.