Woman unhappy with her 'small' $1,671 engagement ring gets slammed online

[Azadina]

The obvious solution is to buy a ring BEFORE you get a six-figure job. Keep those expectations low. /s

I bought my wife's rings (engagement and wedding) for $300 or so. I was a poor college student and so was she, but I told her to pick whatever she liked. Fortunately she isn't a fan of huge ostentatious jewelry, but if she was I'd have made the sacrifice. I don't understand people who buy engagement rings as a surprise, though. Too much drama involved.

Me neither. I picked one I wanted, my partner bought it, and vice versa. If one is going to wear it for possibly very long time, then one should have a say in getting it too. Just my opinion.

[the game]

She's a gold digger.

[melodramocracy]

If you're a woman, and upset that not enough money was spent on a zero-utility item with limited resale value, you absolutely suck at finances, and the guy should be smart enough to see the red flag of what the future's going to be like, and act appropriately.

[Clone]

Yeah I'm sure his kids are really proud of him and will sit around him crying when he croaks. Reality? They'll be fighting over his money.

Don't try to move the goalpost man. First it's about winning by not getting cucked now it's winning by his kids loving him? Dude is banging young attractive women well into old age, I'd consider that a win regarding finding women and buying rings before getting cucked and divorced.

[Kathandira]

Me neither. I picked one I wanted, my partner bought it, and vice versa. If one is going to wear it for possibly very long time, then one should have a say in getting it too. Just my opinion.

I can see the benefit to it being a surprise. However, not gathering any information on what she would want is too dangerous.

I think of it like a bday gift. If I told someone what I wanted, and they bought it for me, i'd be happy. But if they took all the info i've given them, and bought something they feel fit the criteria, and put a little of their own thoughtfulness into it, i'd be happier. However, you do run the risk of completely missing the mark making the recipient dissatisfied.

[Aleksej89]

engagement rings are a scam by the jewelry industry.

and when talking about an emotional, spiritual, mental and physical bond that is supposedly "till death does us part" the last thing that matters is a stone from dirt.

[vindicatorx]

one of my good friends who was working on getting his PhD didn't make shit as he was teaching undergrads at the time. He spent like 3-4 months of his salary on a ring for his soon to be wife and she took it back to the store and got a new one she deemed worthy of her without telling him. If the size of the ring is what is important to her she isn't worth marrying. This woman isn't taking in a lot of other factors who is paying for the wedding? Average wedding runs about $26,000 in the US.

[Stormspark]

I think she should fuck off, and the man should reconsider this marriage proposal.

This. It's time to stop perpetuating this scam the diamond companies started.

[Torrasque]

You do you. If I ever feel the need to impress others I sure as hell won't do it by spending a lot on overpriced shit you don't need.

I guess it depends on who your company is, but most of my friends would think less of me if I spent thousands on jewelry.

I can tell that disposable income isn't something that you're accustom to. That isn't my issue, though, it's yours.

[Azadina]

I can see the benefit to it being a surprise. However, not gathering any information on what she would want is too dangerous.

I think of it like a bday gift. If I told someone what I wanted, and they bought it for me, i'd be happy. But if they took all the info i've given them, and bought something they feel fit the criteria, and put a little of their own thoughtfulness into it, i'd be happier. However, you do run the risk of completely missing the mark making the recipient dissatisfied.

But, there will be another bday gift next year, and after that, and so on. There won't be another ring again.

[Deleted]

And what is she giving to him?

Why would men have to give something expensive to a women when the marriage itself is already very costly and could also end up costing you 50% of your belongings and your kids in the long run?

Women are the ones that often want to get married, not the men. Better offer us an expensive ring instead

[Kathandira]

But, there will be another bday gift next year, and after that, and so on. There won't be another ring again.

Understood. All I was saying is that, if done right, I think a surprise can make someone happier than receiving something they fully expected.

[pateuvasiliu]

I can tell that disposable income isn't something that you're accustom to

Ahuh. A guy that makes assumptions and likes to spend money on useless shit.

I don't know, you don't really strike me as someone smart enough to get rich.


In the unlikely event that you are, you should probably get some friends who aren't total retards and would rather be impressed by what you can do with your money, not what vanity items you can buy with it.

[Azadina]

Understood. All I was saying is that, if done right, I think a surprise can make someone happier than receiving something they fully expected.

On any other area I'd agree, but rings are a little too long term for me to feel it's worth a risk

[Daedius]

And what is she giving to him?

Why would men have to give something expensive to a women when the marriage itself is already very costly and could also end up costing you 50% of your belongings and your kids in the long run?

Women are the ones that often want to get married, not the men. Better offer us an expensive ring instead

[nox597]

I can see the benefit to it being a surprise. However, not gathering any information on what she would want is too dangerous.

I think of it like a bday gift. If I told someone what I wanted, and they bought it for me, i'd be happy. But if they took all the info i've given them, and bought something they feel fit the criteria, and put a little of their own thoughtfulness into it, i'd be happier. However, you do run the risk of completely missing the mark making the recipient dissatisfied.

Do keep in mind the duration of the gift, too... Buying even the best birthday present for someone will likely affect them for a much shorter period of time than your marriage. Often, people wear engagement rings alongside their wedding band for the duration of the marriage (and hopefully life). Thus, you want the recipient of the ring to be 100% happy with it, because they will hopefully be wearing it for a very long time.

If you want my advice, I would recommend picking out several you think she'll like, then show her and ask her what she would really love. Figure out an appropriate price range, then get her to give you several examples of something she would be happiest wearing; hopefully she will be happy to work with you on it. Choose one that fits both of you, and that you would both be happy with seeing on her finger, then go all out on the proposal with your thoughtfulness. Create memories that you will both love to remember every time either of you look at that ring.

This entire thread is because of a lapse of communication; the woman is feeling disappointed because she had certain expectations about the ring that were not met. These expectations were not adequately communicated to her soon-to-be spouse, either because they were assumed to be understood, or because he decided to ignore them and based his decision off his coworker's advice, or for some other reason entirely. Whether or not these expectations are right is not even for us to debate; that's honestly something they need to communicate between each other. Her feeling disappointed is something she should speak with her fiance about, but she wants help opening that discussion, which is why she's even asking the internet in the first place; throwing insults at her for being a gold-digger or ungrateful are not helpful to that discussion in the slightest.

[zenkai]

What do you think?

I think he should dump her ass.

[Torrasque]

Ahuh. A guy that makes assumptions and likes to spend money on useless shit.

I don't know, you don't really strike me as someone smart enough to get rich.


In the unlikely event that you are, you should probably get some friends who aren't total retards and would rather be impressed by what you can do with your money, not what vanity items you can buy with it.

You still don't understand what I am about? I never once mentioned "friends," yet you continue to assume as such. I mentioned that expenditure promotes opportunity for more net gain. I could care less about what friends think of me, they're friends for a reason, one of them being that.

[Themius]

I used to work at a jewellers, 99% of the time the woman comes and picks a new engagement ring she actually likes when they both come in to get the wedding bands (nearly always costs more in my experience as well). Still, poor guy, what a bitch.

Why is she a bitch?

She doesn't like her ring, plain and simple. Why is she a bitch for not liking her ring? 1600 is pretty damn cheap for a ring you really aren't going to get anything that nice looking in a solitaire for that price. I also used to work in jewelry.

[zenkai]

What do you think is this a turn about of fair play in this day and age, guys tell a girl she gets fat he won't marry her, and a woman says he is too broke so he wouldn't do the same?

There are girls who won't marry fat guys, what's your point?

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Why is she a bitch?

She doesn't like her ring, plain and simple. Why is she a bitch for not liking her ring? 1600 is pretty damn cheap for a ring you really aren't going to get anything that nice looking in a solitaire for that price. I also used to work in jewelry.

Do you know his finances? Maybe that's all he could afford.