Sex on the First Date?

[Deleted]

I begin to consider you don't speak german, so let me take you through it step by step:

Its about this:

(1) Wer eine Person unter achtzehn Jahren dadurch missbraucht, dass er unter Ausnutzung einer Zwangslage sexuelle Handlungen an ihr vornimmt oder an sich von ihr vornehmen

It's illegal to use a situation of pressure (for the lack of a literal translation of Zwangslage) to conduct sexual intercourse with a person under 18!

True, you didn't came to the intercourse, but this is where point 4 comes in:

(4) Der Versuch ist strafbar.

Trying is illegal.

So, 16, and you not scoring doesn't matter shit. The only question is if she was in a spot of pressure, and that's something that very much depends on her, not on you - and according to what she texted you, it was definitely not a pleasant experience. Also you admitted to luring. In my opinion this is an easy case.

Edit, just in case you consider me making this up: https://www.gesetze-im-internet.de/stgb/__182.html

It's good that I didn't try to "use a situation of pressure to conduct sexual intercourse with a person under 18!". Or could you point out to me where I did that?

An example would be if I was a teacher and I offered her to change her grade to a better one if she blew me. Even if she doesn't do it, I'm trying to take advantage of her. Now explain to me where I have done anything like that. Or don't, because you've made enough of a fool of yourself.

[Souflikar]

Frankly if a female wanted to have sex on the first date with me, she'd never be anything more than a friend with benefits. I wouldn't think any less of her, i just wouldn't think any more either.

[Pannonian]

It's good that I didn't try to "use a situation of pressure to conduct sexual intercourse with a person under 18!". Or could you point out to me where I did that?

An example would be if I was a teacher and I offered her to change her grade to a better one if she blew me. Even if she doesn't do it, I'm trying to take advantage of her. Now explain to me where I have done anything like that. Or don't, because you've made enough of a fool of yourself.

As i tried to explain: it's not about how you feel, it's about how the girl feels: If she felt threatens by this whole episode, that already is enough, because you LURED her to your city, away from any immediate help she could call on in case you did more, and then obviously tried to advance.

Don't blame it on me that your edgelord stories sound like a confession of a molester.

[Deleted]

Looks like our respective definitions of "so many people" differ quite a bit. But who am I to impose mine onto others?

I get the feedback. Just look at the amount of replies in my threads.

[Deleted]

NO NO NOP. 2rd/3rd date maybe. First it's not ok because it means she's very very easy. Since I'm an avg guy (working to up my game, lifting and men fashion for half year now) if she wants to sleep with me after the first date I always imagine how many guys she did that to, guys that are better looking than me. And girls that are easy are not serious relationship material, just drama and cheating down the line.

Would I decline sex on the first date? Hell now. Would I start a relationship with such a girl? Nop.

[McTroll]

I get the feedback. Just look at the amount of replies in my threads.

...while completely ignoring the tone. So I stand corrected, actually. It's not about numbers we have different definitions of, it's about the term "enjoyment".

[Deleted]

As i tried to explain: it's not about how you feel, it's about how the girl feels: If she felt threatens by this whole episode, that already is enough, because you LURED her to your city, away from any immediate help she could call on in case you did more, and then obviously tried to advance.

Don't blame it on me that your edgelord stories sound like a confession of a molester.

You are out of your mind.

Even if the girl said "he threatened me" or something, since I haven't done it and there can't be any proof of it, I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

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...while completely ignoring the tone. So I stand corrected, actually. I think we have different definitions of "enjoyment", then.

People like to bitch and moan. If they're not enjoying it, why are they posting? Why would people waste time on something they hate? People enjoy controversy and drama.

[Pannonian]

You are out of your mind.

Even if the girl said "he threatened me" or something, since I haven't done it and there can't be any proof of it, I wouldn't have to worry about anything.

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People like to bitch and moan. If they're not enjoying it, why are they posting? Why would people waste time on something they hate? People enjoy controversy and drama.

Except your confession of luring this girl into your city and wanting to have sex with her. That's the whole point here. You're bragging about something that is probably a crime. Words have consequences, and if you confess a crime that can have consequences too.

[McTroll]

People like to bitch and moan. If they're not enjoying it, why are they posting? Why would people waste time on something they hate? People enjoy controversy and drama.

Hey, if that's how you see it. But again, we have different definitions of enjoyment. Let's just leave it at that.

[Deleted]

Except your confession of luring this girl into your city and wanting to have sex with her. That's the whole point here. You're bragging about something that is probably a crime. Words have consequences, and if you confess a crime that can have consequences too.

lol

this just gets more and more hilarious

I asked earlier, how do you think I could lure a girl to come with me on a train and to my city? Do you think I lured her there with candy? Tell me. What do you think? How does a 32-year-old guy lure a cute 16-year-old girl into his city like that? Any idea? Or could it be that "luring her into my city" was just tongue-in-cheek?

[Mistame]

On what culture represented in media exactly? Asian culture? Please. Asian countries differ from each other culturally and even then in countries like China there can be massive cultural differences between different regions within the country. Guangdong isn't like xinjiang despite being in the same country.

Of course the there's difference cultures in different regions. But the stereotypes are based on those cultures. And speaking of different regions, "Asian" is geographically reference, not a race, if you want to get technical.

They're racially stereotyping, not culture because they don't know someones culture just by looking at them.

When someone watches news, movies, etc, that display a specific culture associated with a given region, it's natural to believe that's what the culture in that region is like. Your argument is like saying that a white person who has an obsession (the actual meaning of "fetish") with anime is a "racist". You seem to be either using "racist" incorrectly or just wanting feel like a "victim" because "ugly" guys message you.

[Deleted]

Hey, if that's how you see it. But again, we have different definitions of enjoyment. Let's just leave it at that.

Are you not enjoying this conversation we are having right now?

[Pannonian]

lol

this just gets more and more hilarious

I asked earlier, how do you think I could lure a girl to come with me on a train and to my city? Do you think I lured her there with candy? Tell me. What do you think? How does a 32-year-old guy lure a cute 16-year-old girl into his city like that? Any idea? Or could it be that "luring her into my city" was just tongue-in-cheek?

I don't know? Maybe she felt pressured by your constant text messages? Maybe she was dared by her friends? There are many ways to build up pressure without violence. But i don't know, as i am not the one who used the word lure.

[Freighter]

When someone watches news, movies, etc, that display a specific culture associated with a given region, it's natural to believe that's what the culture in that region is like. Your argument is like saying that a white person who has an obsession (the actual meaning of "fetish") with anime is a "racist". You seem to be either using "racist" incorrectly or just wanting feel like a "victim" because "ugly" guys message you.

They're stereotyping on race though not culture, they don't even know my culture at the point they decide to interact with me.

[BuckSparkles]

They're stereotyping on race though not culture, they don't even know my culture at the point they decide to interact with me.

Which is a real shame because there are many interesting cultures in that part of the world.

To which do you belong or originate?

[Seirith]

Sex comes first, feelings and relationship later.

If that's what you want fine. For me personally, feelings come first and then comes sex. I dated my husband almost a year before sex (we were 15 and 18) and while I would not wait that long as an adult, if I am dating to make a relationship, I am not getting in bed with someone until I care about them. If you want to, fine but not everyone does.

[Deleted]

I don't know? Maybe she felt pressured by your constant text messages? Maybe she was dared by her friends? There are many ways to build up pressure without violence. But i don't know, as i am not the one who used the word lure.

lol yeah, like, she couldn't block me

she actually complained at one point that I'm not texting enough

and her friends didn't know about me

I was her dirty little secret

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If that's what you want fine. For me personally, feelings come first and then comes sex. I dated my husband almost a year before sex (we were 15 and 18) and while I would not wait that long as an adult, if I am dating to make a relationship, I am not getting in bed with someone until I care about them. If you want to, fine but not everyone does.

For women that's ok. If men catch feelings first, they are lost. The reason you didn't have sex first was because you decided. You were in full control.

[Celista]

So how do you do it, is it something you pull out at the 1st date? Second? Right before you bang?

...I mean, that's up to you. I don't have casual sex so I spend a least a month getting to know someone, ask about STDs early because I am clean and want to date clean people, and talk about exchanging recent test results before things end up getting really physical. I'm not super paranoid about it, but I don't take people at their word because the incentive to lie about being clean is high.

Someone is/was developing an STD app where you can upload your recent STD test results, someone verifies them and you exchange your results via the app before hooking up. I don't know much about it or if it is going to take off, but I think things like this will become more common in the future.

[Freighter]

Which is a real shame because there are many interesting cultures in that part of the world.

To which do you belong or originate?

Born and grew up in South Korea, so korean. Living in Singapore currently.

[BuckSparkles]

Born and grew up in South Korea, so korean. Living in Singapore currently.

Have an online acquaintance from South Korea. I like hearing about South Korea and seeing pictures.