Sex on the First Date?

[Doctor Amadeus]

Are we taking a date or using a hook up app to find a "date"? Because when you use Grindr/Tinder, etc, the point is the sex part, not really the dating.

With that said, do what feels right to you/your partner.

Personally, if I am on a real date... usually sex happens on the 3rd date or so... if I am using a hookup app, it happens within a few hours/minutes of getting contacted...

I agree, but I meant dating as in trying to find that special someone.

But correct you are on the app business in my view.

[pateuvasiliu]

...I mean, that's up to you. I don't have casual sex so I spend a least a month getting to know someone, ask about STDs early because I am clean and want to date clean people, and talk about exchanging recent test results before things end up getting really physical. I'm not super paranoid about it, but I don't take people at their word because the incentive to lie about being clean is high.

Someone is/was developing an STD app where you can upload your recent STD test results, someone verifies them and you exchange your results via the app before hooking up. I don't know much about it or if it is going to take off, but I think things like this will become more common in the future.

Holy fuckbuckets.

One month?!

How old are you?

[Freighter]

Holy fuckbuckets.

One month?!

How old are you?

That's not something bad.

[Deleted]

That's not something bad.

One month is extreme. The guy can't have been that attractive.

[Celista]

One month is extreme. The guy can't have been that attractive.

One month isn't extreme. Not all of us date the way you do.

And since you're being nosy, one of my exes was a banker/trust fund brat who did modeling on the side. I'm currently dating a physician.

[Knolan]

The question is a bit misleading...

Do I mind if people have sex in their first date? Nope, their life, they do whatever they want.
Would I encourage it? I would say no in 99% of the time.
Would I do it? Absolutely not.

[Deleted]

One month isn't extreme. Not all of us date the way you do.

Asexual people maybe.

[Deleted]

That really depends.. I don't really go on dates, I have high standards.. but suppose you called them dates, then probably not. I want to at least know him first.

[Celista]

Asexual people maybe.

I read your posts. If you are going to be judge-y, then I'm going to state that you sound like a terrible person to date. And that you have zero self control.

[Deleted]

I read your posts. If you are going to be judge-y, then I'm going to state that you sound like a terrible person to date. And that you have zero self control.

Judge-y about what? That you seem to have very little interest in sex? Maybe I'm not so much "judge-y" about that as I am doubting that you are telling the truth.

I have all the self-control in the world, honey. I just don't see a point in wasting time. Life is too short and you have to use every second of it.

[pateuvasiliu]

That's not something bad.

Only the most desperate of males would go out with someone for 1 month with no sex, that's just ridiculous.

And I mean dating here not 'will they won't they' friendship.

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I read your posts. If you are going to be judge-y, then I'm going to state that you sound like a terrible person to date. And that you have zero self control.

This isn't about self control, it's about a healthy couple. Having sex early is good to ensure compatibility.

One month is ridiculous for adults.

[Freighter]

Only the most desperate of males would go out with someone for 1 month with no sex, that's just ridiculous.

I was in a 6 month relationship without any sex when younger. I don't see how it's ridiculous.

[Shadowferal]

Never on the first date unless I already know her well to begin with.

[Mistame]

They're stereotyping on race though not culture, they don't even know my culture at the point they decide to interact with me.

You're missing the point. "Racist" only applies to [negative] prejudice or discrimination based on racial attributes. A cultural stereotype (which includes any social behavior like docility, submission, etc) is not a racial attribute and thus not "racist", even if mistakenly applied to you because you're "Asian". Additionally, if you want look at it at the very basic level, it can't be "racist" because the "fetish" is not born of hate (negative), but rather intrigue or admiration (positive). There is no "positive" racism.

[Deleted]

Only the most desperate of males would go out with someone for 1 month with no sex, that's just ridiculous.

Or, you know, men who simply have a similar attitude. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are desperate; only that they have different expectations when it comes to such things compared to you.

[Freighter]

You're missing the point. "Racist" only applies to [negative] prejudice or discrimination based on racial attributes. A cultural stereotype (which includes docility, submission, etc) is not "racist", even if mistakenly applied to you because you're "Asian". I mean, if you want look at it at the very basic level, it can't be "racist" because the "fetish" is not born of hate (negative), but rather intrigue or admiration (positive). There is no "positive" racism.

Hahaha, okay. I think I'm just gonna put you on ignore now since you think it's positive to view asian women as being submissive and totally not racist.

[pateuvasiliu]

I was in a 6 month relationship without any sex when younger. I don't see how it's ridiculous.

Define younger.

[Deleted]

I was in a 6 month relationship without any sex when younger. I don't see how it's ridiculous.

Were you 5 years old?

I mean I can see this from an adult/young adult/teenager only if they are asexual and sex-repulsed or something.

[pateuvasiliu]

Or, you know, men who simply have a similar attitude. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are desperate; only that they have different expectations when it comes to such things compared to you.

No way in hell. Someone that waits 1 month to fuck his date either thinks sex is some horrible thing Jesus hates, is so desperate he knows he can't do better or he simply fell in love hard which is creepy since it's just 1 month of dating.


Honestly if a friend went out with a girl 1 month and they didn't have sex yet I'd assume she's either cheating or leading him on. It's not normal.

[Deleted]

Or, you know, men who simply have a similar attitude. That doesn't necessarily mean that they are desperate; only that they have different expectations when it comes to such things compared to you.

You mean men who want to be her best girlfriend?

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No way in hell. Someone that waits 1 month to fuck his date either thinks sex is some horrible thing Jesus hates, is so desperate he knows he can't do better or he simply fell in love hard which is creepy since it's just 1 month of dating.


Honestly if a friend went out with a girl 1 month and they didn't have sex yet I'd assume she's either cheating or leading him on. It's not normal.

Wow, here I am agreeing with you.