Sex on the First Date?

[shadowmouse]

I guess the Illuminati started this rumor then.

Sigh. No, it has a tangential relation to Kaiser Wilhelm II, who helped set the stage for the "Yellow Peril" of the latter 1800s. That continued to shape (and still resonates today) how Asians were viewed well into the 20th century. Part of the Yellow Peril mindset was sexual, and that threw up the "Lotus Blossom" stereotype.

Since this is historical, it goes back in part to behavior that isn't current. Yes, even back at the beginning of the 20th century, in some situations the women of many Asian countries were expected to be submissive in their own cultures and things weren't always so different in the West either. It is also colored by tales from several Asian wars worth of R&R, where guys weren't interacting on a normal basis with normal women, they were hanging out with hookers and bar girls.

Life moved on, women have gotten educations and have careers. June Cleaver isn't the model for today's average American woman, and things have changed in Asia too. Some behaviors still exist, Freighter mentioned sajiao for example, but remember that high context cultures are about more than just what one says. As Freighter noted, it's an act, complete with funny voices, and the players know it. One of my favorite examples goes like this: "Asian women are submissive? Why of course they are ... just Google the phrase "to feed the ducks!"

[Deleted]

...It's just always happened for me on the first date, And the girls initiated it mostly as well; But if I was faced with that dilemma I'd say 3 dates before I bail, if it hasn't happened then there isn't physical chemistry in my view.

Who am I joking the most action I get is from the blanket feeling me up... :P

[Deleted]

Good point. This is why one should get married asap. Quit wasting time with a relationship that could be going nowhere and instead settle down and commit.

Yeah. Instead involve the state so when the marriage inevitably fails, you lose half your shit. Genius.

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Sigh. No, it has a tangential relation to Kaiser Wilhelm II, who helped set the stage for the "Yellow Peril" of the latter 1800s. That continued to shape (and still resonates today) how Asians were viewed well into the 20th century. Part of the Yellow Peril mindset was sexual, and that threw up the "Lotus Blossom" stereotype.

Hey, at least we have someone who takes this question seriously. I appreciate it.

Since this is historical, it goes back in part to behavior that isn't current. Yes, even back at the beginning of the 20th century, in some situations the women of many Asian countries were expected to be submissive in their own cultures

So it's based on truth.

[Kelxin]

This almost seems like the OP is trying to "create" his / her morals based on what the majority of people post in an online forum....

Do what you / your partner feel is right. No person / couple have have same ideals as everyone else in the world.

Some people want to have sex within an hour of meeting each other. Some countries its legal to have sex with 14 year olds. Some countries it's not even legal to talk about sex in public even when you're 80. Some religion's / cultures believe there's a year courtship minimum. Some religion's believe sex is part of their worship every day with complete strangers. If you're going to live your life just doing what other people tell you to, might as well move to north korea, russia or china.

[Phlegethon]

How specifically, I would like to know. It isn't impossible.

I might not be a lady, but option 1 could apply for me too (not saying that it does, but it might)

[shadowmouse]

So it's based on truth.

Not really, because it is far from current reality. For example, it probably isn't true that you wear diapers, yet at one time you probably did. Stereotypes are offensive to people because they are based on exaggerations of perceptions and those perceptions are often flawed in the first place.

I find it interesting that the stereotypes of Asian women under Yellow Peril thinking roughly correspond to events such as the rise of the woman's suffrage movement in the US. At the same time, however, China saw increasing efforts to, ahem, stamp out foot binding.

Yeah. Instead involve the state so when the marriage inevitably fails, you lose half your shit. Genius.

That tired, old horror tale?

Hmmm, bungee was married for more than 20 years. Bungee's ex at some point decided that she liked women more than men/ When our state made gay marriage legal Bungee's ex was able to get notice by publication and go to court by herself because Bungee was in China. The divorce was granted, I suspect the judge figured he was doing me a favor, and she got absolutely nothing else.

Divorce is not inevitable, change is. Some couples reach an impasse they can't deal with.

I've been married, I've been through a divorce. I'm getting married again, to the woman in my avatar.

[ParanoiD84]

It seems expected in most cases these days, though not always there is still ladys out there.

[Deleted]

Not really, because it is far from current reality.

It might be. But then we cracked the case. Stereotypes exist because that's the way it used to be. And if it used to be that way, then there are still remnants of it today. So stop acting as if it is racist to believe in something that makes absolute sense.

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That tired, old horror tale?

I've been married, I've been through a divorce.

The irony is delicious.

I'm getting married again, to the woman in my avatar.

Showing off her picture to strangers online, off to a great start into the relationship.

[pateuvasiliu]

You seriously sound like you have some sort of sex addiction

Wanting to have sex in under a month isn't an addiction, it's normal.

If anything you're the outlier here.

[Niaraa]

I mean, I wouldn't want to have anything to do with a girl who wants to spread her legs on the first date.

dont worry it's never gonna happen if you judge women like this. why women can't do that if they want without be called prostitute? oOooh get it! they should stay pure before wedding?

[shadowmouse]

It might be. But then we cracked the case. Stereotypes exist because that's the way it used to be. And if it used to be that way, then there are still remnants of it today. So stop acting as if it is racist to believe in something that makes absolute sense.

So, you admit to wearing diapers! Cadit quaestio! /facepalm

The irony is delicious.

Indeed, you managed to miss the whole point about how I didn't lose anything and I wasn't even represented in court. So much for your "truism" of losing half your stuff.

Showing off her picture to strangers online, off to a great start into the relationship.

I'm a bit old, but they tell me there is this thing called social media where people post pictures, often pictures of people they know "the Book Home Facelift" I think the ad spammer called it. It gets even more shocking than that, thousands of people see us if we're out in public and I know almost none of them. In the old days, I might have even had her picture on my desk! Lad, she has studio wedding pictures of us as a couple for the cover of her home page.

[lockedout]

No sex on the first date=no call back.

[Deleted]

Why not? It's not like you are going to get married, have some fun and if it lasts, good, if it doesn't at least you had a good time.

[Deleted]

So, you admit to wearing diapers! Cadit quaestio! /facepalm

Uhm... ok...

[Tehshocka]

Holy shit this thread is still going? LOL

There are obviously a couple of women in this thread who value their pussy too much.

Any guy willing to wait more than three dates for sex is someone who feels like they can't find someone better or in general so they are going to wait til the end of time in hopes you spread those legs. Those guys have zero confidence and self respect.

Most men are starting to realize that the ocean of women is vast and now you can be connected to it all day every day. Whereas not even a few decades ago you had to choose between a handful of potential partners, you now can swipe through a menu until you have your fill and then just maybe settle with the right woman.

Also the White Knighting in this thread has been cringe worthy at best. Have some self respect for yourselves and dont put the pussy on a pedestal.

[shadowmouse]

Uhm... ok...

Well, for a stereotype it is enough for me to know that many people used to wear diapers at some point in their life. Stereotypes don't look at individuals.

Now, since "that's the way it used to be. And if it used to be that way, then there are still remnants of it today." You've proven that I may assume you wear diapers, here and now. Your logic is irrefutable.

[Ukon]

I am under the impression that sex on the first date, does not often result in a long lasting relationship.
But I don't have a big enough data set to say anything for sure here :P
So I'd say, wait until later tbh. If you want a long lasting relationship that is.

[Seirith]

Holy shit this thread is still going? LOL

There are obviously a couple of women in this thread who value their pussy too much.

Any guy willing to wait more than three dates for sex is someone who feels like they can't find someone better or in general so they are going to wait til the end of time in hopes you spread those legs. Those guys have zero confidence and self respect.

Most men are starting to realize that the ocean of women is vast and now you can be connected to it all day every day. Whereas not even a few decades ago you had to choose between a handful of potential partners, you now can swipe through a menu until you have your fill and then just maybe settle with the right woman.

Also the White Knighting in this thread has been cringe worthy at best. Have some self respect for yourselves and dont put the pussy on a pedestal.

I do have self respect for myself which is why I am not going to sleep with every single person that might want to just because they can't wait until we know each other. If someone can't wait until we actually know and really like each other then that is their issue not mine.

So glad I am married and don't have to deal with most guys and their inability to control themselves and not act like if they don't have sex on the first date there is something wrong with someone.

[Sunseeker]

I'm a guy, so I really have nothing to lose from having sex on a first date. So if she's cool with it, okay.

Fetishism is different from sexual attraction. I like big boobs, but if I were to fetishize a woman with big boobs, reducing her down in value to nothing more than her breasts, that's bad mmkay?

[Deleted]

Well, for a stereotype it is enough for me to know that many people used to wear diapers at some point in their life. Stereotypes don't look at individuals.

Now, since "that's the way it used to be. And if it used to be that way, then there are still remnants of it today." You've proven that I may assume you wear diapers, here and now. Your logic is irrefutable.

lol

That is such an awful comparison, you had to explain it to me for me to even get what you mean.

Yeah, you're right. Suggesting that based on the cultural heritage of a certain region, certain stereotypes might still apply to some extent today because they were so ingrained in that culture is basically the same as assuming that an adult still wears diapers cause he used to do so as a kid. That is 100% the same. Wonderful analogy. Kudos to you for that masterpiece of human thinking. Hats off. Curtains close. Goodnight folks.