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  1. #481
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    Quote Originally Posted by Freighter
    Profile isn't usually the problem, the problem is the messages people are sending, the content and the amount. You're spammed with a lot of "hey" "how u doing?" and so on as a woman on a dating page. A lot of low effort messages where you don't even bother to check their profile because of the low effort in their message.
    People assume that if you matched, interest is already there. Fuck them for taking it casually and not trying to impress you. I mean one could think that a "hi" gets replied to with a "hi" and then a conversation starts from there, or "how u doin" gets a "fine u" and then you two hit it off... but no, that's just not enough effort. If he thinks he can have it so easily, he's wrong. He has to come up with a masterpiece of ingenuity, otherwise he is not good enough for mating.

    To be serious though, I avoid messages like that, too, because I know you girls are like that.

    I try to call back to a certain thing in our conversation. This is where actually having talked to a girl before texting her can come in handy. So recently I met a girl who is into pen and paper roleplaying, and she told me she was off to play a game of call of cthulhu and I send her a message along the lines of "hey it's the passionate role-player, hope you haven't gone insane yet". Or the other day I said bye by kissing a girl on her cheeks. But for a moment it looked like she was going for the mouth, before she turned her head to the side. So when I texted her I immediately teased her and wrote "hey it's the girl that wanted to kiss me on the mouth", which leads to her justifying herself etc. I always try to use something from our conversation. Of course on Tinder, you have nothing, cause you're just about to start a conversation. Then some girls don't even have anything in their profile. And you're supposed to create something out of thin air. This is why approaching girls in real life is 1000 times better.
    Last edited by mmocdf92b69352; 2017-08-16 at 09:46 PM.

  2. #482
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Anduin Menethil View Post
    People assume that if you matched, interest is already there. Fuck them for taking it casually and not trying to impress you. I mean one could think that a "hi" gets replied to with a "hi" and then a conversation starts from there, or "how u doin" gets a "fine u" and then you two hit it off... but no, that's just not enough effort. If he thinks he can have it so easily, he's wrong. He has to come up with a masterpiece of ingenuity, otherwise he is not good enough for mating.

    To be serious though, I avoid messages like that, too, because I know you girls are like that.

    I try to call back to a certain thing in our conversation. This is where actually having talked to a girl before texting her can come in handy. So recently I met a girl who is into pen and paper roleplaying, and she told me she was off to play a game of call of cthulhu and I send her a message along the lines of "hey it's the passionate role-player, hope you haven't gone insane yet". Or the other day I said bye by kissing a girl on her cheeks. But for a moment it looked like she was going for the mouth, before she turned her head to the side. So when I texted her I immediately teased her and wrote "hey it's the girl that wanted to kiss me on the mouth", which leads to her justifying herself etc. I always try to use something from our conversation. Of course on Tinder, you have nothing, cause you're just about to start a conversation. Then some girls don't even have anything in their profile. And you're supposed to create something out of thin air. This is why approaching girls in real life is 1000 times better.
    This pretty much, you have just a picture with nothing indicating hobbies or interest and then you are expected to think of a brilliant opener. xD

  3. #483
    Quote Originally Posted by schwank05 View Post
    I mean basically Men just want guaranteed Sex. We or at least most of us don't really have any interest in dating or all the drama and Bullshit that goes along with it. I just want someone that I know will be there for me when I need to get off, so we Date and get Girlfriends and Wives so We don't have to constantly chase after women. Because let's face it Prostitutes are probably the cheapest sex there is out there, but are Illegal. So we get a Permanent Prostitute in a Girlfriend or Wife, They are way more expensive, but you don't have to leave the house to get one. So most men will do shit they don't want to so we can get Sex that's it plain and simple. And women get someone to be there for them and listen to their pointless talking and have someone to protect them and all the stuff that goes along with being a Dude. I love my Wife, but I don't like doing half the shit she wants to do. but like most men put up with it so I can get laid.
    Where i live prostitution is legal...ppl still get girlfriends and wives and guess what...cheat on them with prostitutes.
    If you ask me that is disgusting but to each their own, if you stop to think about it...it's as if they are paying double.
    To be fair however, the social pressure to get a girlfriend and a wife is pretty strong...i live in SA btw.

  4. #484
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberry View Post
    Alpha males don't boast.
    Indeed. For alpha males the females boast "yeah so I hook up with that stud last night, girl! OMFG! Tell me more about it!" That's how you know you are a stud, catch. This being said I think what people need to understand is demographics matter as well. In my uni town there are more females than males, ages 18-35, so it's easier for me to get a date and get a girl than for someone in China where there are 110 guys to 100 girls.

  5. #485
    I am Murloc! shadowmouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForLoveofMe
    for someone in China where there are 110 guys to 100 girls.
    It is even more vicious than those numbers suggest.

    The myriad ways to connect coupled with the female majority have upended the way people meet and court in China.

    Hiring a girlfriend can cost up to 10,000 yuan ($1,450) a day

    Jun Li, from Suzhou in Jiangsu province, in China’s east central coast, is single and in her 20s. She has noticed growing numbers of men on the singles scene “organising as teams” and hiring public entertainment venues for dating events.

    Other men are turning to psychologists and stylists to make themselves more appealing. And to avoid prying questions from inquisitive parents, some are even resorting to hiring “fake” girlfriends to present to their parents using apps such as Hire Me Plz. . Reports suggest hiring a girlfriend can cost up to 10,000 yuan ($1,450) a day.

    The problems for men in finding a partner are most acute in poorer rural areas, made worse by long-held traditions that the husband must be able to offer a decent level of financial security before he can secure a wife.

    Hong Yang, who is now married and in her 30s, describes this as China's “mother-in-law economics”. “If men want to get married, the future mother-in-law will request that he first buys a house before discussing the next step. It's one reason why house prices have been so strong in recent years,” she says.

    Age gaps of 10 to 20 years or more are common in Chinese marriages

    But this financial burden on men is also making it harder for many women to find a partner. That adds to the issue, with large numbers of men, partly because of the financial costs of marriage, are opting to marry later. And when they do settle down they are often looking for younger women. Age gaps of 10 to 20 years or more are common in Chinese marriages.

    "It's hard for women to find suitable men after they reach 32 years [old],” says Hong Yang. “Many eligible Chinese men want to marry younger and pretty girls.” Women, in turn, look for financial stability, which leans toward older men, experts say.

    Of course, the reverse can also be true. Well-educated and financially independent women who remain single are called “unwanted girls”, says Heather Ma, who is married, in her 30s and living in Shanghai.
    Source: http://www.bbc.com/capital/story/201...staying-single

    China is likely to see more bachelors in the coming years as many of them are finding it too expensive to get married.

    New statistics show a wedding ceremony costs 100,000 Yuan (£10,993) on average in rural China while the average yearly income for a Chinese person was revealed to be 10,489 yuan (£1,151), according to a report from 2014.

    According to the latest statistics released by the country's National Bureau of Statistics, China's sex ratio was 115 men to 100 women, the People's Daily Online reports. Experts say the gap could leave 30 million Chinese men single by 2020.

    Liu Yanwu, a sociologist from Wuhan University told the Global Times that China currently has around 20 million men aged between 20 and 45 in rural villages that cannot find wives.

    He says that more than two-thirds of these man are unable to find wives because they cannot afford the cost involved with marriage.

    Betrothal gifts are becoming big business as families realise they can use their daughters to claim a substantial amount of cash.

    According to CRI English, in Shandong province, the average amount of money needed to marry is 100,000 yuan (£10,993).

    However the cost can be higher.

    For many men in rural China this is completely out of their budget.
    Source: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/peop...n-country.html

    Someone asked how much I was paying to get married. I know, there is probably an implication that I had to pay and that there isn't any love. We're paying a token amount to her mother because face matters here, then again it is well under what I'd pay under the two months salary for a ring tradition in the US. In terms of the market here, she could have held out for a much heftier price from a Chinese guy. These articles tend to show fairly low prices by focusing on rural China. In places like Shanghai it was over a million RMB in 2013.

    To tie things back more closely to the topic at hand, the BBC article notes:

    Online dating is growing fast in China, as elsewhere, and messaging apps such as WeChat are increasingly popular ways of getting to know people.

    “China dating is becoming more and more open and more and more familiar with the ways of Western countries in recent years,” says Jun Li. “Young generations have more choice and they are following their hearts rather than parents.”
    There is some room for optimism there, but as far as I can tell it has just made things even more competitive and the parents are still in the decision making process because of tradition, social pressure ... and China's internal registration system for residence (hukou). Parents often control the hukou and through it their children's marriage options.
    Last edited by shadowmouse; 2017-08-18 at 07:17 AM. Reason: link
    With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.

  6. #486
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    Quote Originally Posted by Strawberry
    Alpha males don't boast.
    Boasting is just normal human behaviour. Has nothing to do with alpha or beta.

  7. #487
    I am Murloc! shadowmouse's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Medium9
    Seriously, go watch China Uncensored on YouTube.
    Youtube is one of the things that are blocked, conveniently giving a boost to similar local services.

    Quote Originally Posted by Medium9
    For the most part I'm just sad for all these kind and capable people that get abused to no ends by a government they just seem to can't get rid of
    It plays out much like blogs and news in other places. Don't underestimate the size of China geographically and in terms of population. For many Chinese, life goes on without many of the problems that get played up. Look at the idiocy that turns up in stories such as the misadventures of Florida Man, now imagine a much larger population and how many stories must be out there.

    Many Chinese have a cynical streak but finding a way around the government (or any form of regulation) is a longstanding tradition here. Put a stop sign in the middle of a bunch of harvested cornfields, where one can see for miles, and at 0300 many Americans will stop because that's the law. In China, it is difficult to get people to drive on the right side of the street if driving a couple of hundred meters is a shortcut, and that is with traffic cameras all over the place.

    With all of that said, you are correct, official studies show a substantial number of mental problems among the young and although they are harder to track once they leave the schools there is no reason to think they magically get better.

    About 20 percent of college students in China suffer from mental disorders, according to a recent survey conducted by the Chinese Center for Disease Control and Prevention.
    Source: http://www.aacrao.org/resources/reso...ntal-disorders
    With COVID-19 making its impact on our lives, I have decided that I shall hang in there for my remaining days, skip some meals, try to get children to experiment with making henna patterns on their skin, and plant some trees. You know -- live, fast, dye young, and leave a pretty copse. I feel like I may not have that quite right.

  8. #488
    Deleted
    Quote Originally Posted by Pendulous View Post
    What's online dating? Oh, that thing where you send a match a message, and never get one in return, and repeat? Yeah, that.

    Seriously. Been on OkCupid for years, only person that ever messaged me first had three kids.
    Most messages on those sites seem to come from bots so that people would spend that $30/month just to read them. Most messages are copies of each other and in a bad language.

    Still, I actually ended up on a date through a site once. It went well, but she then moved abroad to continue her studies shortly afterwards.

  9. #489
    I met my wife on match.com; it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

    If you actually put effort into a profile, and are realistically looking to find someone, not just fuck someone, you'll have success!

  10. #490
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reachie10 View Post
    I met my wife on match.com; it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

    If you actually put effort into a profile, and are realistically looking to find someone, not just fuck someone, you'll have success!
    "Putting effort into a profile" lol

    How about you put effort into talking to women in real life instead

  11. #491
    The Unstoppable Force Elim Garak's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Reachie10 View Post
    I met my wife on match.com; it's the best thing that ever happened to me.

    If you actually put effort into a profile, and are realistically looking to find someone, not just fuck someone, you'll have success!
    So.. you are married to a match.com profile then?
    All right, gentleperchildren, let's review. The year is 2024 - that's two-zero-two-four, as in the 21st Century's perfect vision - and I am sorry to say the world has become a pussy-whipped, Brady Bunch version of itself, run by a bunch of still-masked clots ridden infertile senile sissies who want the Last Ukrainian to die so they can get on with the War on China, with some middle-eastern genocide on the side

  12. #492

  13. #493
    Deleted
    For all the fans of online dating... I just went out and did a bigger daygame session today. In the morning I was out for 1,5 hours and right now I was out for maybe 3 hours. Walked around a lot and approached 20 sets (a set can be a 1-set, meaning 1 person, or a 2-set, 2 people etc.). The first ones in the morning were really short, probably not the best time/situation, so no success. Then in the afternoon/evening, I got a lot better responses and got 2 numbers from girls. Texting right now.

    Now, I know some people think I'm just peddling my PUA message here, and I kinda am. But think about this. I'm a short, fat, bald dude with glasses. How easy is it for the average guy, or for below average-looking guys like me to get to texting 2 girls, that he finds attractive, on online dating sites or apps like Tinder? Chances are, you swipe for months and don't get a match. Chances are, you get a match, and then she doesn't text back. Having girls not text back with daygame happens, too, and it is hard work and you have to invest a lot of time and it isn't easy at first facing these rejections, but believe me, it is worth it. There is nothing more empowering than knowing that you can go out any day, and make things happen that wouldn't have happened otherwise.

    I can only urge anyone, who is sick of online dating, to just give it a try. What do you have to lose?

  14. #494
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anduin Menethil View Post
    Now, I know some people think I'm just peddling my PUA message here, and I kinda am. But think about this. I'm a short, fat, bald dude with glasses. How easy is it for the average guy, or for below average-looking guys like me to get to texting 2 girls, that he finds attractive, on online dating sites or apps like Tinder?
    Just improve your status or looks.

    Since most of us won't do surgery to fix our looks, just read and youtube watch men fashion and try to apply it. Then do the whole fitness, cook yourself and work out (yes even at home, it's dead easy). In 3 months you will look better and feel better. Even if you are doing this ONLY to improve your chances with girls the effects will be directlly on you and you will feel them before any girls sees you. So working to better yourself as a men will make you look hotter for the opposite sex, or same sex if you are gay.

    For status is this si the hardest part. This means being business savy, either build your own business or climb the corporate ladder.

    I feel for guys this two aspects are the major ones that will up your scale in the dating game. Women want men because of their looks and/or because of their status. The minority want a guy because: he's smart, he's that height, he has that personality, etc.
    Last edited by mmoc0127ab56ff; 2017-08-18 at 09:26 PM.

  15. #495
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForLoveOfMe View Post
    Just improve your status or looks.
    Wrong. Approaching is the most important thing. Of course improve yourself, that goes without saying, especially if you are overweight, but you still have to do the heavy lifting. Girls won't ever just come to you, in most cases.

  16. #496
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    Quote Originally Posted by Anduin Menethil View Post
    Wrong. Approaching is the most important thing. Of course improve yourself, that goes without saying, especially if you are overweight, but you still have to do the heavy lifting.
    Yes, but even shy good looking guys get laid more than the avg guy. Or heck, shy rich/higher status guys. They have girls flocking them, reverse dating. And the more you work on yourself, the better you will look, the more confident you will feel, the easier the approach will be. It's like a process.

  17. #497
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    Quote Originally Posted by ForLoveOfMe View Post
    Yes, but even shy good looking guys get laid more than the avg guy. Or heck, shy rich/higher status guys. They have girls flocking them, reverse dating.
    For some people, when it comes to looks, there's a glass ceiling. Working out is great, but some people are just not handsome. They have to do more. And losing weight also takes time. I'll be at my ideal weight in about a year. I've already lost around 20 kilos in the last half year. I'll lose a couple of kilos a month. But what in the meantime? As I've said, talking to girls today got me texting to two girls, and I will add more to that with each day. Why wait?

  18. #498
    Quote Originally Posted by Aeilon View Post
    I mean, I get what you are saying...but it literally takes less than 2 seconds to reply you ain't interested even if it is to 50 guys a day. Trust me, a lot of dudes including myself have to go through a lot more effort to get anything in return. I'm not saying you should have a conversation with every guy, but don't be a bitch and at least say something even if it is just "I'm sorry, I'm not insterested...good luck in your search though! " At least that's what I type when I'm not interested. It's common decency.

    Ignoring is kinda how you create men hating on women, it's a struggle for both sexes in the end so a bit off efford from both sides is deserved.
    You are severely underestimating the amount of messages an attractive woman can get on a dating site. It is literally endless messages. I know it is common decency to respond and that's why when I first started trying out online dating I actually did put in effort to respond to almost every single person. What I realized was that even if I typed in a quick small response, I would have at least one other message taking it's place from someone else. I do not have time to sit there all day constantly replying to messages to keep up. They would just pile up which makes it even more impossible to go through them all.

    Eventually I just said fuck it, so I just go through and pick guys I find attractive with nice profiles and everyone else gets screwed over. That's why I don't like using dating sites/apps where people can just message you whenever they want. Tinder is fine because I have to actually swipe on the person for them to talk to me.

  19. #499
    Mechagnome Thoughtcrime's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Megitsune View Post
    You are severely underestimating the amount of messages an attractive woman can get on a dating site. It is literally endless messages. I know it is common decency to respond and that's why when I first started trying out online dating I actually did put in effort to respond to almost every single person. What I realized was that even if I typed in a quick small response, I would have at least one other message taking it's place from someone else. I do not have time to sit there all day constantly replying to messages to keep up. They would just pile up which makes it even more impossible to go through them all.
    There's this, and worse. A lot of my female friends get disgusting abuse hurled at them when they are just being polite and nice but say they're not interested to jobless fatsos that live with their parents. Or they then get bombarded with desperately needy whining because they replied, so they MUST have some interest.

    Even as a bloke, when I used to reply to women I wasn't interested in just to tell them "aah you seem nice but you're not what I'm looking for" they would often tell me to go fuck myself or worse. If someone doesn't reply, they're not interested and that's all you need to know so move on with your life and find someone else.

  20. #500
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    Quote Originally Posted by Thoughtcrime View Post
    Even as a bloke, when I used to reply to women I wasn't interested in just to tell them "aah you seem nice but you're not what I'm looking for" they would often tell me to go fuck myself or worse.
    Hell, I have women message me just to start shit over my profile because I state that I'm not into big girls.

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