Beware of dates who are just in it for a free meal.

[Doctor Amadeus]

You don't get to have it both ways. The pay gap among millennials is pretty damn even, so do you want equal treatment or do you want to turn back the clock on women's rights about 50 years?

This hasn't even been an issue with any of the women I've dated. If it was I wouldn't want to continue seeing someone who felt entitled to a meal because I wanted to get to know them better.

Yeah but you kind of sounds like a fucking cheap ass. I get the willing part, I can agree, but nothing worse than a fucking mizer either.

I mean provided I guess she doesn't order 10 lobsters and 9 and a half to go.

[hrugner]

Yeah, just coffee. Maybe a snack later if it is a long walk and talk. Make first date a casual afternoon thing.

If she agrees to a second date, as is willing to invest more time, then you can go do something more formal.

But I digress. I don't tinder or date total strangers anyway. All my relationships have been friends of friends. Makes it easier to be casual.

This is the cure. Meet people through others so they are hesitant to act like a shithead and embarrass their friends and do something other than dinner and a movie. I recommend doing a morning thing rather than an afternoon thing though, you don't interrupt your day if things go poorly and you find out early if they're the sort of person who sleeps till noon.

As an aside. While I've heard about women doing this sort of thing from time to time, the male version seems always to be sex for a place to sleep. I don't really know why or how that works, but it seems to.

[Freighter]

This hasn't even been an issue with any of the women I've dated. If it was I wouldn't want to continue seeing someone who felt entitled to a meal because I wanted to get to know them better.

It's not entitlement. It's about those men complaining about having to pay like $3-10 extra for food either being cheap skates or poor when they were the ones who asked you out. Don't ask someone out on a date if you want them to pay. If you make a fuss over $3-10, what's to say it will work out in the long term when it comes to even bigger sums?

[Mister Cheese]

I haven't encountered any women here in the west who won't split or pay for themselves. Where do you guys meet those women that you complain so much about?

@bungeebungee How do you do it over there in China when you go on a first date? Man pays? Woman pays? Split? Pay each for themselves?

These kinds of people are everywhere. They'll pretend they don't have enough money to split the bill. Must have gone on a lot of dates over the past few years and I've only met one woman who didn't get pissed off at me for asking them to split the check. This "Men need to pay on the first date." is why this shit is becoming more and more common. Break tradition. Split the bill. If you don't like it tough shit. Stop expecting handouts. Time and time again I've had a lot of people take money away from me at resturants because they're bitching about how they can't pay their bill. Then they order the most expensive item on the menu.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Not going to happen.

What guys won't stop asking?

Probably not but Hookers can become a thing.

[Freighter]

What guys won't stop asking?

Probably not but Hookers can become a thing.

Lots of korean men go to prostitutes for their first time having sex and even after that. Doesn't mean they're not trying to find dates. Prostitutes just care about the money, they're not there to tend to you emotionally and won't be there to start a family with you.

[Doctor Amadeus]

It's not entitlement. It's about those men complaining about having to pay like $3-10 extra for food either being cheap skates or poor when they were the ones who asked you out. Don't ask someone out on a date if you want them to pay. If you make a fuss over $3-10, what's to say it will work out in the long term when it comes to even bigger sums?

Ok but what if men just stop asking, or by in large then what?

[Doctor Amadeus]

Lots of korean men go to prostitutes for their first time. Doesn't mean they're not trying to find dates.

Probably, but are they younger or older, and I am not just targeting guys, women can get sick of the chase too.

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@Frieghter

More something like this?

[Mister Cheese]

It's not entitlement. It's about those men complaining about having to pay like $3-10 extra for food either being cheap skates or poor when they were the ones who asked you out. Don't ask someone out on a date if you want them to pay. If you make a fuss over $3-10, what's to say it will work out in the long term when it comes to even bigger sums?

It's not 3-10 dollars. You're missing the point entirely. They are taking advantage of people that they know will pay for their meals, and since there's always some moron willing to do it they can tell the person who isn't willing to split to go fuck themselves. Why should I get into a relationship with someone I don't trust, knowing that they're going to cheap out on me and want me to pay for everything? It's not entitlement. I'm not entitled to fucking someone. Just like they are not entitled to a free meal.

[Doctor Amadeus]

It's just funny to me because if a guy was talking about women the way Freighter talked about men, they'd get laughed out of any thread for being "some ugly guy that never touched a girl" or something. But since they're (supposedly) female, it's just "a totally normal way to look at men".

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Or what's to say it'll work out in the long term when you're clearly so concerned about (other people's) money, money, money?

Maybe she doesn't want a broke ass scrub.

[Katchii]

As shallow as I find it, I can't really get THAT upset when they're gaming the system effectively.

Girl in the story in the OP is pretty shrewd.

Personally, I'm with other people who have already said it. Don't waste my time if you are unable to pay for the food you order when going out. But I'd also be in it for more than just a meal and some possible booty so being stable and successful would be pretty high on my priority list.

[Hctaz]

Going out for a single dinner isn't taking advantage of someone's feelings.

Did you read the article though? This person said she is looking for rich and desperate men to take her out on expensive dates. She's completely taking advantage of their feelings in order to obtain free food. She knows what she's doing. She does this specifically all of the time.

[Doctor Amadeus]

It's not 3-10 dollars. You're missing the point entirely. They are taking advantage of people that they know will pay for their meals, and since there's always some moron willing to do it they can tell the person who isn't willing to split to go fuck themselves. Why should I get into a relationship with someone I don't trust, knowing that they're going to cheap out on me and want me to pay for everything? It's not entitlement. I'm not entitled to fucking someone. Just like they are not entitled to a free meal.

So if she is fucking ugly and pays for your meal. Game on?

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Did you read the article though? This person said she is looking for rich and desperate men to take her out on expensive dates. She's completely taking advantage of their feelings in order to obtain free food. She knows what she's doing. She does this specifically all of the time.

Yeah but if they or I am taking advantage of their body and combing it over with a laser pointer like Lorenzo Llamas.

[Moozart]

POF and all those dating sites are FULL of this shit. This is why when I was dating, before I met my spouse, I would pick Starbucks or Panera Bread as a good first dating place. If a woman had an issue with one of these it was enough for me to pass and move on because chances were good they were in it for something else. Most good woman will have ZERO issues with either of these 2 places because they are public as well as good ice breaker places.

[Tennis]

You guys do realize this has been going on for a LONG TIME.

I read a story about this ages ago. It is what it is.

The outrage is unbelievable. I am disappointed.

[Moozart]

This is the cure. Meet people through others so they are hesitant to act like a shithead and embarrass their friends and do something other than dinner and a movie. I recommend doing a morning thing rather than an afternoon thing though, you don't interrupt your day if things go poorly and you find out early if they're the sort of person who sleeps till noon.

As an aside. While I've heard about women doing this sort of thing from time to time, the male version seems always to be sex for a place to sleep. I don't really know why or how that works, but it seems to.

Keeping waking up with guys in your bed aye?

[vondevon]

...snip...

Buying a girl food so she might have sex with you - totally fine
Hanging out with someone so they might buy you a meal - omg so frustrating!!! grr what a scam!! sad!!!

[Jonnusthegreat]

Yes, there is. If he's not paying for something as simple as food then he's either a cheap skate or he's poor. None which is attractive.

And that's what we think of women. It's a two-way street.

[Sorshen]

Freighter's entitlement is jarring as always. If you judge men to be cheapskates for 3-10 bucks, what does that make you - that's unwilling to pay that - your own meal ?
This line of reasoning is pretty regressive, it's 2017 and women want to be equal - yet put on a pedestal to be impressed by men with various material offerings?
Women love to power play men like that when it suits them. Well, not all of them... but it's certainly a widespread cultural thing.

[Aleksej89]

Perhaps go for a walk through the city or public park as a first date, instead of a restaurant?

Why would you even want a restaurant for a first date, it is noisy and overcrowded and just an awful place to get acquainted with someone.