Pregnancy disagreements show the value of marriage

[Kathandira]

Sounds like a lot of trouble. Why don't you just accept that having kids is a normal part of marriage.

Just because you think it is normal, doesn't mean it really is.



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With that thinking a women could be having a child every 9-12 months.

Are you ready to have a child every 9-12 months Tennisace?

I personally think IUD's are the greatest thing ever, no daily pill and 5 years (or more depending on which one you get) of no periods and no pregnancies. I am on my 3rd IUD and I love it.

g/f got one, and it is pretty awesome for her. She loves not having to take a pill all the time. Especially because she is forgetful and messes up her pill cycle too often.

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Sounds like a lot of trouble. Why don't you just accept that having kids is a normal part of marriage.

I'm curious how many kids you have. If you expect married couples to not wear condoms, nor be on birth control, you seem like you would have quite a few children by now.

[Seirith]

g/f got one, and it is pretty awesome for her. She loves not having to take a pill all the time. Especially because she is forgetful and messes up her pill cycle too often.

That is one of the reasons I like it so much, I was always worried about missing a pill or being sick and taking an antibiotic and having it not work.

[Kathandira]

That is one of the reasons I like it so much, I was always worried about missing a pill or being sick and taking an antibiotic and having it not work.

Totally! And from the spouses perspective, when the pill cycle is messed up and it has to start over, there is a period of time where sex is a no no. So that could put a damper on things.

[Total Crica]

That is one of the reasons I like it so much, I was always worried about missing a pill or being sick and taking an antibiotic and having it not work.

The risk of it perforating my uterus, no thanks.

"In 1 out of 1,000 women, the IUD will get stuck in or puncture (perforate) the uterus."

https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-cont...erine-device#1

[SupBrah]

If they don't accept risk of pregnancy happening maybe they shouldn't have sex.

There's a difference between a condom accidentally breaking and a guy secretly removing the condom because he wants to rawdog a girl. There's also a difference between birth control accidentally failing and a woman secretly stopping her birth control to try and trap a guy by getting pregnant.

Many believe a guy secretly removing his condom without the consent of the woman is considered sexual assault as she is not consenting to unprotected sex. How is secretly stopping your birth control without telling the guy any different?

[Total Crica]

There's a difference between a condom accidentally breaking and a guy secretly removing the condom because he wants to rawdog a girl. There's also a difference between birth control accidentally failing and a woman secretly stopping her birth control to try and trap a guy by getting pregnant.

Many believe a guy secretly removing his condom without the consent of the woman is considered sexual assault as she is not consenting to unprotected sex. How is secretly stopping your birth control without telling the guy any different?

It's different because it's not sexual assault, it's sexual fraud.

[Kathandira]

It's different because it's not sexual assault, it's sexual fraud.

Fraud, Blackmail, something along those lines. I agree.

Reason I don't see it as sexual assault is because no bodily harm came to the man. And no unconsented contact occurred either.

[Tennis]

That is one of the reasons I like it so much, I was always worried about missing a pill or being sick and taking an antibiotic and having it not work.

Except that its unnatural and you're altering your body in a way that is not normal.

[Total Crica]

Except that its unnatural and you're altering your body in a way that is not normal.

Humans are a part of nature and therefore natural and therefore what humans do is natural. What's normal or not doesn't matter to me, a human.

[Deleted]

Except that its unnatural and you're altering your body in a way that is not normal.

One day you'll have a girlfriend (god help her) and you'll be having safe sex unless you want 10 kids

[Katie N]

There's a difference between a condom accidentally breaking and a guy secretly removing the condom because he wants to rawdog a girl. There's also a difference between birth control accidentally failing and a woman secretly stopping her birth control to try and trap a guy by getting pregnant.

Many believe a guy secretly removing his condom without the consent of the woman is considered sexual assault as she is not consenting to unprotected sex. How is secretly stopping your birth control without telling the guy any different?

There is always risk of pregnancy unless one is infertile, accept that or don't have sex.

[Mistame]

It's different because it's not sexual assault, it's sexual fraud.

Fraud, Blackmail, something along those lines. I agree.

Reason I don't see it as sexual assault is because no bodily harm came to the man. And no unconsented contact occurred either.

The two (ghosting and lying about birth control) are semantically equivalent. We can debate about whether or not they fall under "sexual harassment", but if one does, they both do. Personally, I think they should if only for the sake of more severe consequences as a deterrent.

[Total Crica]

The two (ghosting and lying about birth control) are semantically equivalent. We can debate about whether or not they fall under "sexual harassment", but if one does, they both do. Personally, I think they should if only for the sake of more severe consequences as a deterrent.

Need evidence to dole out consequences. Good luck providing evidence of actual ghosting or actually not taking birth control on purpose, regardless of the couple being married or not.

[Mistame]

Need evidence to dole out consequences. Good luck providing evidence of actual ghosting or actually not taking birth control on purpose, regardless of the couple being married or not.

Oh, I realize that. I was just clarifying that they're both equal in terms of being reprehensible.

[Seirith]

Except that its unnatural and you're altering your body in a way that is not normal.

I do that every day with 4 different medications in which I have no choice but to take. 3 are for an auto immune disease and the other is for GERD. Every medication we take alters our body. The radiation my mother did when she had cancer altered her body but she did so in order to save her life. If I did not "alter" my body with medication I would have been dead around age 10 from a very serious illness which required a lot of medication.

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The risk of it perforating my uterus, no thanks.

"In 1 out of 1,000 women, the IUD will get stuck in or puncture (perforate) the uterus."

https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-cont...erine-device#1

All medications have a risk. There is a risk with the pill, having sex, getting pregnant or having a baby. It is a risk I am willing to take and have had 12 years with no issues.

[Katchii]

Wait. So you want it to be legal for a man to force a woman to kill her baby? Um what??

I never said that, I was simply asking how the two situations are equivalent given that bodily autonomy is a thing and that IF the woman has the baby, the biological father is legally required, in almost all situations, to be financially responsible for the child he didn't even want and never explicitly agreed to have.

I do feel that the father should have some way of getting out of being financially responsible in a situation like this where the woman purposely sabotages the birth control...but that would be a pretty difficult thing to prove in court I think.

While I understand that both parties implicitly agreed to have sex and therefore have the possibility of conceiving a child so they should take responsibility for their action, but I just think it's still a little unfair that IF the woman does actually get pregnant the man has pretty much zero legal means of getting out of that situation whereas the woman has all the power and authority and can essentially hold the man hostage, I mean, that's why some women even try this stupid birth control sabotage game anyway.

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Why are you guys using a condom if you're married though?

The same reason anyone else would wear a condom...they don't want kids.

Even people who already ave kids and don't want more will wear condoms. Or are yo usaying that once you have the number of children you want you just simply sotp having sex ever again? That's a ludicrous thing to suggest.

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The risk of it perforating my uterus, no thanks.

"In 1 out of 1,000 women, the IUD will get stuck in or puncture (perforate) the uterus."

https://www.webmd.com/sex/birth-cont...erine-device#1

There's risks with everything, including the pill and a vasectomy which you're husband got. I understand the need to evaluate a situation and when no 100% failsafe option exists take the one with the least number of risks, but you make it sound like you weren't willing to take a risk while you were OK with your husband taking them on.

https://www.nichd.nih.gov/health/top...ages/risk.aspx

One of the worst, IMO, is the one where a significant portion of men (up to 10% according to the article) who get a vasectomy can have everlasting pain that never goes away. There are others though too, but those can be fixed relatively easily with additional surgeries.

[zlygork]

How does "women rape men" (stop taking pill without man's consent) = they should have married? I'll admit I haven't read past the first line

[Martymark]

So if there's a crazy/evil woman who lies and says she's on birth control to try to trick a man into impregnating her...somehow it would be better for the man if he married a crazy/evil woman?

[Powerogue]

I would think it would be somewhere in the realm of rape. Whatever you call "lying to someone to trick them to have sex with you". That's as old as time so it's got to have a name.

[Total Crica]

you make it sound like you weren't willing to take a risk while you were OK with your husband taking them on.

I am not my husband's owner. I can't prevent him from making choices about his own body. Nor would I try to guilt him into making any choice about his body. If he wants to make a choice for his body based on me, that's up to him. Am I grateful, sure, but that doesn't mean I am entitled to him doing it for me, nor does it mean I owe him anything.

The choices I make for my own body has nothing to do with anyone but me. That fact that I wouldn't put a bomb inside my body doesn't mean I am making that choice to ensure others won't blow up, it means I don't want my body to blow up. Enjoy the benefits of my choice all you want, but you are neither entitled to them nor owe me for them.

And yes, he was fully aware of that risk of a vasectomy before he made his choice.