When does flirting become sexual harassment?

[Dug]

By this definition I can slap a random woman's ass and get away with it.

Or you can stop being hyperbolic and understand nuance

[Deleted]

You're the one using women in your example... Notice I said victim, this applies to any gender

Yes, I was talking about women... And you equated that to victim.

[Swalload]

That's not flirting. Question was when flirting becomes sexual harassment.

Oh yeah, I got carried away.

[EverDash]

Oh yeah, extreme cases don't fit your logic. It has to be unwanted and persistent, except for the cases where it doesn't have to be. What is an extreme case? Woman 1 might respond to very direct sexual propositions very favourably, woman 2 files it under "extreme" and calls the cops.

Exactly. So outside the extreme (and obvious) cases, it's a tough accusation to pin down. I've known some women who accused a guy of harassment just because he smiled and winked at her from across the bar. Other women adore the physical play and touching and consider it a sign of confidence and desire. Hence why the initial act cannot be considered harassment (again, extreme acts being an exception). It's only after the initial act is rebuffed and expressed as unwanted and THEN repeated again that it becomes harassment.

This rule is obviously (and logically) void for objectively egregious behavior such as grabbing and lewd conduct that falls under legal descriptions.

"Verbally assaulting" is an oxymoron.

No it isn't. "Verbally" is the adjective, "assaulting" is the adverb. You can aerially assault something, quietly assault something, quickly, mentally, emotionally, slowly or even joyously assault something. When you Google "assault", in the first definition of the word, it lists "a strong verbal attack".

I don't think you know what an oxymoron is. Stick to the subject here and not the grammar.

[Independent voter]

I like how it is at work.

If the woman is a coworker you can flirt with her but if she ever tells you to stop, you have to stop.

Bosses can never even flirt with a subordinate, never.

[glowzone]

Except it isn't true, if it was every ugly person would be single. I am not conventionally attractive and have never once being acussed of harrassment. If you're regularly getting called creepy or a harasser then it isn't your looks at fault

Being an average person or a bit below isn't the same as ugly tho is it? I freaking scare kids just by the way I look. Do you see the difference?
I'm not being called a harasser, but freak? Creep? Sure all the time.

Maybe you're thinking I'm some idiot who doesn't know how to talk to a woman without drooling and without staring at her chest. But can you not just take my word that at a certain point you're considered a freak no matter what you do?

People here never believe me that looks could be the problem, for some reason.

[Wallmaker Yahzarah]

flirting becomes sexual harassment when a conversation is making one of the volunteers of the conversation becomes uncomfortable. seeing as you and/or they are not obligated to engage in the uncomfortable interaction of letting the other know they are being inappropriate or making them uncomfortable they can then take an hour, day or ear(ssss) to file a complaint of sexual harassment. even if said, 1 of the 2 original volunteers, dont even remember the interaction. still sexual harassment.

literally have a friend who is now going back and forth with a girl that got pregnant while he was dating, preggo'd someone else by the way, told the woman he would not be paying child support if the kid wasnt his. it wasnt. she filed for sexual assault for the day specifically when they slept together.

Oh yeah... weird things to weird situation. They still sleep with each other, even though they are fighting each other in court. Humans, right?

[Swalload]

flirting becomes sexual harassment when a conversation is making one of the volunteers of the conversation becomes uncomfortable. seeing as you and/or they are not obligated to engage in the uncomfortable interaction of letting the other know they are being inappropriate or making them uncomfortable they can then take an hour, day or ear(ssss) to file a complaint of sexual harassment. even if said, 1 of the 2 original volunteers, dont even remember the interaction. still sexual harassment.

literally have a friend who is now going back and forth with a girl that got pregnant while he was dating, preggo'd someone else by the way, told the woman he would not be paying child support if the kid wasnt his. it wasnt. she filed for sexual assault for the day specifically when they slept together.

Oh yeah... weird things to weird situation. They still sleep with each other, even though they are fighting each other in court. Humans, right?

That story is gonna end up on Judge Judy.

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People here never believe me that looks could be the problem, for some reason.

Because it goes against what they think, and they believe everyone on the forum in an inferior being so they refuse to change their mind or learn from others.

[Deleted]

Yes, I was talking about women... And you equated that to victim.

No you just lack reading comprehension

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Being an average person or a bit below isn't the same as ugly tho is it? I freaking scare kids just by the way I look. Do you see the difference?
I'm not being called a harasser, but freak? Creep? Sure all the time.

Maybe you're thinking I'm some idiot who doesn't know how to talk to a woman without drooling and without staring at her chest. But can you not just take my word that at a certain point you're considered a freak no matter what you do?

People here never believe me that looks could be the problem, for some reason.

Dude have you seen my picture

[Pony Soldier]

Ugly/creepy guy = sexual harrasment

Handsome guy = flirting

Pretty much this. If you're not attractive enough you're not going to pull off flirting. Instead the other person is going to be grossed out and think you're creepy/weird.

It seems like if it's a guy who is attractive enough it's just fun and games and considered cute but if it's a not so good looking to an average looking guy it's creepy and weird and god forbid you tap her on her shoulder or something to get her attention.

I will say though it also depends on the approach and if there's a lot of physical contact going on.

[Enthusiastic Steward]

We were discussing harassment. People said that in order for it to be harassment it has to be unwanted and persistent. I provided an example of something being said to a woman, just one single sentence, once. And people said it would be harassment. Even though it doesn't fulfill the criterium of being persistent. You can't speak of persistently bothering someone when you only say one thing once. Therefore you are being inconsistent.



See.

Except I didn't say that your example was or wasn't harassment, I simply said it wasn't flirting. You're constantly trying to overclarify harassment to me, when I made to assessment to that in regards to your example either way.

[Rooflesstoofless]

You can be creepy for things completely out of your control these days. Height. Receding hair line. And I've been called creepy for being tall, skinny and having tired looking eyes.

This is what my point was. I've seen nice guys get shut down and referred to as 'creeps' right off the bat. "omg...did you see that guy that tried to like come up and talk to me at the bar over there? He is such a CREEP! He actually tried to come up and talk to me. #metoo, ladies. #metoo. Like I would ever get with THAT."

[glowzone]

Dude have you seen my picture

If you guys had a picture day or something I missed it.

[Doctor Amadeus]

That's not flirting. xD It's just using crude language.

No it’s flirting not appropriate just honest.

[Katie N]

No it’s flirting not appropriate just honest.

No, that's not flirting.

[Deleted]

That's not flirting. xD It's just using crude language.

Who cares if it's flirting. According to the definition of harassment, something that is unwanted and persistent, it wouldn't be harassment.

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No you just lack reading comprehension

Projecting.

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Except I didn't say that your example was or wasn't harassment, I simply said it wasn't flirting. You're constantly trying to overclarify harassment to me, when I made to assessment to that in regards to your example either way.

So your comment was completely useless.

[Darknessvamp]

So considering that the article seems to have a bias towards establishing the idea that "only men can cause sexual harassment", what constitutes sexual harassment by females?

[Deleted]

If you guys had a picture day or something I missed it.

[Doctor Amadeus]

No, that's not flirting.

No it is flirting and you don’t get to decide or regulate it. If it’s being said in the appropriate venue then you can always say no thanks and walk away.

Not everybody wants to whisper a bunch sweet nothings and bullshit and some do.

However flirting shouldn’t be done at work.

[Deleted]

Who cares if it's flirting. According to the definition of harassment, something that is unwanted and persistent, it wouldn't be harassment.

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Projecting.

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So your comment was completely useless.

I don't think you know what projecting is