Using physical force to punish a kid

[Prothynyas]

grab him/her by the scruff of their neck and discipline them , or slap the back of their head like the foolish child he/she is , give him her a kick in their ass if they are being idiots , if they have to much energy then play fight with em judo wrestling grappling punching kicking everything goes tire them out its a great work out and will make em stronger and they will be disciplined in the long run through that .

[Deleted]

I hope you have kids someday.

I want you to feel powerless around a kicking, screaming, crying, snot-nosed child who REALLY wants that toy, but you know they'll just play with it for an hour and leave it alone.

I want you to feel the pounding in your eardrums after hearing the abhorrant screams in the car as he/she struggles trying to get out of their car-seat because they want to sit in the captain chair like a big boy/girl.

We're talking about DISCIPLINE, not beatings or abuse.

thats a nice speech but if you did your job as a parent the child wouldn't be having the tantrum in the first place. behavior like that doesn't just come out of the blue.

[Doctor Amadeus]

I understand what you are saying and in an ideal world I would totally agree with you. I would love it if we could just talk to a person, adult or child, and have them truly understand things the way we see it. Have them see the reasons behind why they should or shouldn't do things, but we can't.

Spanking is an extreme option and does have it's negatives, but if used in extreme circumstances properly it's benefits outweigh the negatives.

Well no matter what is said it, I have no delusions those who do it are going to stop it. Honestly back in the day I think Spanking was better understood for the time, I get it, I don't approve i was spanked, but I realize times change better information is available, and more help is too. Children are worth exploring options and being given the best if we live in a society that claims to love them so much.

[Archon14]

Seriously, if you aren't patient and smart enough to have kids don't have any.

That's all really sweet, but every scenario is different.

Kids are different, psychologically. Some solutions that work on your children perhaps couldn't work on other children. And no matter how smart or patient you think you are, you can't prepare yourself 100% for being a parent. Not one parent is a "perfect parent". Everyone makes mistakes.
Combine that with the chaotic nature of life itself, you end up with every parent-child relationship being unique, with its own ups and downs. And you not hitting your child isn't a guarantee that the child will be better off. Or that you will necessarily be a completely better parent than someone else who did once hit their kid.
But then again, hitting your kids won't guarantee that, either.

Point is, it's easy to talk and apply one rationalisation for everyone. But it doesn't work that way.

[Elba]

Why are small children the only people that are legal to hit?

Also, really how can anyone hit their child in the first place? Don't you love your kid?

[Minikin]

Well if that happens I will explore the reasons why with my child rather than going for the easy method because I am too stupid, or impatient to give a shit in the first place. You aren't talking about discipline, you are simply pointing at worse cases in your mind and saying "well see I am not that bad!"


I would say yours might be worse because you have the information and can verify with facts, whereas someone else might have had kids they didn't plan on have ZERO access to the education or medical resources to get help, so they feel trapped and the kid and they pay for it.

Mall i do not think hes saying lay the smack down on your kid. I believe physical force here means more like a rap on the wrist, strict enough to carry the message and feel embarrassing enough for the next time. Unless OP wants to correct me. I do not think anyone in this day and age would hit a child in the face or apply the full force of an adult on them.

[Bigbazz]

After reading this thread a little more I now think the strong anti spankers believe Mike Tyson is showing up to peoples houses uppercutting kids for bad behavior, so I don't think we're really on the same page.

[Darkeon]

No you are just hand deflecting because you can't follow the comparison, you are advocating physical punishment for a fucking child who's brain hasn't developed and relates in the world the best way it knows, just like YOU or any adult, but or unless you advocate we beat the shit out of adults or throw a little spanking on people even those who SHOULD know better, than your argument is a joke.

"Deflecting" silly comparisons, yes. All day long, as long as I'm chatting with ya. haha

[tyrant87]

I'm curious is the generation that got "disciplined" better because they know better or because they fear the repercussions from memories they had as a child?

[Doctor Amadeus]

That's all really sweet, but every scenario is different.

Kids are different, psychologically. Some solutions that work on your children perhaps couldn't work on other children. And no matter how smart or patient you think you are, you can't prepare yourself 100% for being a parent. Not one parent is a "perfect parent". Everyone makes mistakes.
Combine that with the chaotic nature of life itself, you end up with every parent-child relationship being unique, with its own ups and downs. And you not hitting your child isn't a guarantee that the child will be better off. Or that you will necessarily be a completely better parent than someone else who did once hit their kid.
But then again, hitting your kids won't guarantee that, either.

Point is, it's easy to talk and apply one rationalisation for everyone. But it doesn't work that way.

As I have pointed out having kids raising them is difficult, I think I could say that a billion times but I don't think people who are intent on believing beating kids is the best way believe that.

Even though it's obvious that is what many suggest, you can't prepare 100%, but when you have better information and know better it is your job to do better by your own kids at the very least. I had that benefit and so have most who are alive today.

I mean shit, I remember my older relatives talking about being beaten with switches and extension cords and shit, and a score of other conditions and issues not known or ignored back then.

Beating kids doesn't help them, it DOES get results if one does it, but it cost later down the line.

[Minikin]

After reading this thread a little more I now think the strong anti spankers believe Mike Tyson is showing up to peoples houses uppercutting kids for bad behavior, so I don't think we're really on the same page.

lol i know i hope the OP adds a bit more explanation. No one is talking about slapping a kid or mashing their face in.

I recall a simple thing from my childhood. I got hit for being stupid, it wasnt a smash or anything just a slap on the wrist. but it felt embarassing rather than painful. Saw my brother got smacked for a similar issue. And honestly after that it wasnt a "oh lets not do it well get hit again" it was more of a "shit that was embarrassing and i was stupid as hell, lets not repeat that".

[Doctor Amadeus]

"Deflecting" silly comparisons, yes. All day long, as long as I'm chatting with ya. haha

I am glad I am the measure by which your compare yourself, that's flattering. But rather than feel inferior when arguing you could either just ignore it if you are that sure of what you are saying, or you could give a better argument than petty bullshit insults.

[Jinpachi]

Go to any college campus demonstration to see the effects of NOT instilling a basic sense of fear and respect in your children. You can't expect a 3 year old to reason as an adult. And they dont need to be reasoned to. All they need to know is they do what mom and dad tell them to do. They can ask questions when they get older. First learn to obey

[Freighter]

Go to any college campus demonstration to see the effects of NOT instilling a basic sense of fear and respect in your children. You can't expect a 3 year old to reason as an adult. And they dont need to be reasoned to. All they need to know is they do what mom and dad tell them to do. They can ask questions when they get older. First learn to obey

If you raise your offspring to be fearful then you're a bad parent.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Mall i do not think hes saying lay the smack down on your kid. I believe physical force here means more like a rap on the wrist, strict enough to carry the message and feel embarrassing enough for the next time. Unless OP wants to correct me. I do not think anyone in this day and age would hit a child in the face or apply the full force of an adult on them.

No and I am saying to YOU and anyone else smacking your kid it's abuse and no different than the kinds of physical abuse people fable today about the horrors back through history, that some think contributes so well to how much better things used to be.

[melodramocracy]

As someone who was smacked around quite a bit as a kid, and verbally abused constantly (easily the worse of the 2), it absolutely does create resentment. The risk of it can also keep you from doing some pretty dumb shit as well however.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Go to any college campus demonstration to see the effects of NOT instilling a basic sense of fear and respect in your children. You can't expect a 3 year old to reason as an adult. And they dont need to be reasoned to. All they need to know is they do what mom and dad tell them to do. They can ask questions when they get older. First learn to obey

Yes and the collective I.Q of the nation has risen as a result especially in places where an actual intellectual effort is sponsored over just a physical.

[tyrant87]

Also like to point out "discipline" ranges are quite large, from a tap to the head all the way to a leather belt that'll leave welt marks. When you are for physical discipline you give people that range of discipline to dispense its not just your own idea.

The discipline I used to experience was either a wooden spoon or a 60 cm ruler, my dads discipline experience was stuff thrown by teachers, caning and leather belts.

[melodramocracy]

If you raise your offspring to be fearful then you're a bad parent.

[Minikin]

I'm curious is the generation that got "disciplined" better because they know better or because they fear the repercussions from memories they had as a child?

i dont think its as simple as that, as in those two options. when i got hit, it was more embarrassing than pain and suffering. and honestly shit made sense too, like "no you dont stay up and play video games when you have school in the morning", "no you dont throw a tantrum". i guess in a way you could say repercussion because after a while the parents didnt even have to raise a finger. all that was needed was a the look lol "you wait till we get home" and ud get in line and everything was good.

in the end. it was efficient and effective. and honestly i would have turned out to be a total shithead had my mom (more so than my dad) not been as strict as she was.