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  1. #61
    Well I'm younger than a lot of people commenting here, I haven't got many friends who already started families and all that.

    While I don't have many friends, I feel perfectly happy with them. I was tired of managing friendships with people I didn't really like or felt completely comfortable with. I'm done with circumstantial friendships. All throughout my higher education (bachelor, post graduate and now master's) I met hundreds of people. Aside from my boyfriend of almost 4 years, I've only kept one single friend.
    I'm the type of person that is exceptionally polite to a fault. It always made me fall into friendships with people that treated me as passive and unimportant, and ultimately disposable. So I had to force myself to become assertive with whom I accompanied myself with and I had to make sure that I made meaningful friendships.
    I've kept a core group of friends from highschool that became my closest friends. Ironically, they weren't my closest friends when we were in highschool (those faded as quickly as highschool ended). But with these particular people, for some reason we all sort of fit into each others' lives as time went on, and we've created a really strong bond with each other. We're all very different and lead very different lives, yet we make the effort of coming together most weekends and share coffee or drinks. I think the fact that we're so different only enriches our lives with experiences we wouldn't otherwise get.

    While I'm somewhat more independent than average, I do think friendship is important. Being alone can be freeing, but in my experience solitude and isolation can lead you to feel depressed and demotivated. We are social beings, and we find meaning in social interaction. We don't need a lot of people. And we don't need to be with them everyday. A few meaningful connections every other day is all it takes.

    EDIT: I want to add that, in my case, Facebook chat helps a lot. Some of my friends are studying in different cities (in one case a different country) so it's rarer to get together with them. But we practically talk everyday on our group chat. We share the latest news, we ask each other things about our days. Minor stuff like that really helps keeping those friendships alive and healthy despite distance and other obstacles.
    Last edited by Hugnomo; 2017-11-21 at 02:48 AM.

  2. #62
    I am Murloc! gaymer77's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Qnubi View Post
    Yo, I just realized I have lost almost all my friends which I considered life-time friends. They all started dating girls and eventually married or just silently moved away from me over the years. It was a slow process, since I like to live solitary I have it especially rough. I have only 1 contact left that kinda feels the same but the distance is too far to meet weekly. I am not complaining I like the way my life shaped up as I have 100% freedom and can do whatever I want. I just thought one of my dozens friends would feel the same and stay with me till the end. I am 32 years old now and have none left that shares my lifestyle choice. Is nobody enjoying a life without a significant other as much as I do? xD
    I wouldn't say that I've stop being friends with my childhood friends but our lives have went in different directions. My high school friends are the same. Hell even the friends I made in college or going to the bars when I turned 21 have went in different directions. That's the way things are. I am friends with them on Facebook and we keep in touch but they have different lives and I have different lives than we had when we were younger. Its called, GROWING UP. You should try it. I went through about 2-4 years where I was single. I had the occasional hookup for my "needs" but it was never anything that lasted more than a one time thing or a month or a friends with benefits type of arrangement. I've thought about settling down & having/adopting some kids but I probably won't. I'm not in my 20's anymore. This makes my mother-in-law kinda sad because she's said that we're not going to make her a grandma and his sister probably won't either. Now just because I GREW UP and moved on with my life like my childhood/high school/college/bar friends did doesn't mean I don't still enjoy stuff like playing video games or other "young" stuff because I do. There's no reason to give something up if you enjoy it & its not hurting anyone else. My advice to you is either accept the fact that you're going to be lonely for the rest of your life (and as @ZazuuPriest said the lonely ones in the nursing homes are the first ones to die off & I've seen first hand from working in nursing homes as part of my career) or you can put yourself out there on one of the MANY dating apps and meet someone. There are dating apps for straight & gay (and subculture gay group apps too) people alike. There are fetish dating apps and websites. If you're a furry, there's one for you. If you're into baby play, there's something out there for you too. Post an ad online somewhere. If you don't do this, you're going to die a lonely not so old man with nothing to show for his life besides hours played in a video game....great legacy!

    - - - Updated - - -

    Quote Originally Posted by Hugnomo View Post
    While I'm somewhat more independent than average, I do think friendship is important. Being alone can be freeing, but in my experience solitude and isolation can lead you to feel depressed and demotivated. We are social beings, and we find meaning in social interaction. We don't need a lot of people. And we don't need to be with them everyday. A few meaningful connections every other day is all it takes.
    THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS BECAUSE THIS IS 100% TRUE!!!

  3. #63
    Quote Originally Posted by gaymer77 View Post

    THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS BECAUSE THIS IS 100% TRUE!!!
    You're welcome! I'm glad you appreciated it

  4. #64
    Warchief Progenitor Aquarius's Avatar
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    I had 350 friends on Facebook, then when I got depressed i deleted most of people to 104, which most of them I don’t even talk to anymore, friends from school and such. To be honest better to be alone than around assholes or people who don’t even talk to you. You just observe their lives and feel like crap. Worse when you start to care you give away all your power, waste of time and energy.

  5. #65
    Quote Originally Posted by gaymer77 View Post
    I wouldn't say that I've stop being friends with my childhood friends but our lives have went in different directions. My high school friends are the same. Hell even the friends I made in college or going to the bars when I turned 21 have went in different directions. That's the way things are. I am friends with them on Facebook and we keep in touch but they have different lives and I have different lives than we had when we were younger. Its called, GROWING UP. You should try it. I went through about 2-4 years where I was single. I had the occasional hookup for my "needs" but it was never anything that lasted more than a one time thing or a month or a friends with benefits type of arrangement. I've thought about settling down & having/adopting some kids but I probably won't. I'm not in my 20's anymore. This makes my mother-in-law kinda sad because she's said that we're not going to make her a grandma and his sister probably won't either. Now just because I GREW UP and moved on with my life like my childhood/high school/college/bar friends did doesn't mean I don't still enjoy stuff like playing video games or other "young" stuff because I do. There's no reason to give something up if you enjoy it & its not hurting anyone else. My advice to you is either accept the fact that you're going to be lonely for the rest of your life (and as @ZazuuPriest said the lonely ones in the nursing homes are the first ones to die off & I've seen first hand from working in nursing homes as part of my career) or you can put yourself out there on one of the MANY dating apps and meet someone. There are dating apps for straight & gay (and subculture gay group apps too) people alike. There are fetish dating apps and websites. If you're a furry, there's one for you. If you're into baby play, there's something out there for you too. Post an ad online somewhere. If you don't do this, you're going to die a lonely not so old man with nothing to show for his life besides hours played in a video game....great legacy!

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    THANK YOU FOR SAYING THIS BECAUSE THIS IS 100% TRUE!!!
    So you are saying although I enjoy my life for the past 20ish years (even in high school I wanted to be left alone most of the time), I will not later on? Even if that would be the case, I rather am happy 50 years of my life than be unhappy 50 years and then happy in the end for the insignificant old age where you are limited most likely mentally and physically to enjoy life to the fullest. If you can't understand that there are solitary persons out there that absolutely hate the thought of someone else sharing a life with you more or less 24/7 then I can't change that. But I have meaningful social interactions with my family whenever I want. My entire family (2 brothers with family) lives nearby within a 2 minute walk. I even experienced the stress of raising kids when I had to look out for the kids when my brothers had stuff to do and it was not enjoyable (which explains why I would never want kids myself). Now that they have grown older it's a bit better but still noisy and stressful to interact with.

    My thread was about the fact, that I thought one of my friends would maybe feel the same because the ones I picked all were quiet, less outgoing people. It was never about being unhappy as I have clearly posted several times that I enjoy my lifestyle. But other than 1 or maybe 2 people the vast majority is trying to tell me I am a sad loner that will die young, lol. I am pretty sure the ones that are forced alone are more likely depressed, but I am alone by choice. I had 2 relationships which I(!) ended, simply because I did not like the thought of being available for someone most of the time.
    Last edited by Qnubi; 2017-11-21 at 01:25 PM.

  6. #66
    Quote Originally Posted by Tennis View Post
    Exactly what I've been saying.

    Most people get married, have kids and live happily ever after. You're likely to end up lonely and sad if you don't do the same.
    And most people end up in court, losing custody of kids and shit tons of Alimony.

    Not all, but Marriage as a concept is dying. Men are slowly opting out. What benefits men in marriages? The risks out weights the benefit, if there are any.

    Just because they are married doesnt mean they are better off. The risks are far greater for men in marriage.

    Just don't cut off a relationship. If they only pay attention to themselves and their partner and completely forget about you, they were never a friend. A True Friend will hang out with their mates even though they are married, just wont go to clubs and such.

  7. #67
    Quote Originally Posted by hakujinbakasama View Post
    My wife and I are similar but not entirely by choice. Neither of us communicate much (or at all in my case) with childhood friends. I don't even speak with most of the friends I had in my late teens or early 20s.

    What I've come to learn more often than not is that people in general suck. But that's true for nearly everyone. People, even close friends, can be vapid and self absorbed. The older you become the less dependable people tend to be where recreation comes to matter. It's not specifically a matter of malice, we just end up taking on more responsibility and less leasure and often price that latter time very highly.
    That is how we are too,we both stopped talking to our friends after HS was done. In college we had each other so we went to class and then came home. We had friends but they were class friends because we saw them in class all the time, when that was done, we stopped talking and all moved on with life. It's not that I dislike my school friends or anything but we were mostly friends because we were in school together and once that was over and life changed to college, marriages, some had kids, we just drifted apart.

  8. #68
    Deleted
    Friendships generally don't last a lifetime.

    I have zero people from my schooldays in my current social circle, only people that I can relate to on my current level of interests, vision and income.

  9. #69
    Banned BuckSparkles's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Algy View Post
    It happens really. All of my friends got married and popped out babies. I barely see any of them now since their life is now their family. Either try to find your own relationship or welcome to the forever alone club, we have cake and cookies all to ourselves!
    And avatars that should never be changed!

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