Girl Scouts : Hugging relatives during the holidays violates consent

[Rexosaurus]

I'll reply with this:

I was never molested as a child. By anyone. not a teacher, not a relative, not an older "friend". Neither were my sisters. We hugged everyone in my family, and nothing untoward ever happened. i know that's not true for everyone, but these days to hear most people tell it, EVERYONE is getting molested. It happens, but it's not as wide spread and rampant among families as media will have you believe. Just like most people have ZERO idea of what being triggered is.

Don't force your child to hug someone if they feel uncomfortable with it. But saying "why dont you go give X a hug" is not forcing them to.

Yeah, sounds like we're more or less in the same position on this. I'm always looking for opinions from people that don't share my experiences though. You never know when it can lead to learning something that you'd never have considered. Maybe it'll save my nephew or niece, or my children*. In which case, I'd owe them far more then I can ever repay.

*see imaginary

[Izalla]

Should I sue my parents for inappropriately touching me without my consent while they were changing my diapers?

That's not even what this is about.

[Doctor Amadeus]

Should I sue my parents for inappropriately touching me without my consent while they were changing my diapers?

Well if you are wearing diapers by law it would be illegal for them not to touch you because as am infant they are charged with your care, and a baby with a soiled diaper ain't going to change itself, and if not cleaned washed and changed regularly they can get a rash or infection which if that is ignored could be life threatening.


On the other hand if you weren't an infant and indeed potty trained then yes possibly unless there was an explicit reason for them to be fondling your body for some clinical identification and then taking you to a doctor.

[FeedsOnDevTears]

The Girl Scouts have released an article warning parents from “forcing” their children, daughters specifically, to hug their relatives. The article further elaborates that forcing your children to physically show signs of affection violates the child’s consent.



http://www.girlscouts.org/en/raising...s-consent.html

What are your opinions on the statement from the Girl Scouts? Do you agree that being told to hug/kiss family members violates a child’s consent or do you think this is further degradation of family values in the US?

They're not wrong. A) little kids (and yes, particularly young girls) should not be taught that affection, especially affection to satisfy others, is required. B) forcing displays of affection diminishes any real meaning. C) Forcing affection can be traumatic to the kids, in some cases. And D) how terrible a person do you have to be that kids don't want to hug and you feel fine making them do it anyway?

[LoLcano]

When i read shits like this i wish Hitler won WW2 and got rid of all these retards .

[Elim Garak]

That's not even what this is about.

It is exactly what this is about.

[Nelaphim-EX]

There is a difference between FORCING a child to give someone a hug and saying 'Granny came all this way to see you, why don't you give her a hug'.

If my child freaked out about giving someone a hug, I would look long and hard at the situation and talk to them about why they did not want to hug that person. If it was just that person, then that means that something (could be they said something mean/rude or worse) happened and should be investigated. If it was everyone, then again, you need to look into it.

And I am not talking about a child who is 11-12 or older. I am talking about little kids. Tweens/Teens should know societal norms and can follow or ignore them as they see fit.

[Elim Garak]

Well if you are wearing diapers by law it would be illegal for them not to touch you because as am infant they are charged with your care

So if a parent tells a child to go give a hug to aunty - it's ok? Because they are in charge of the child's care and know the best how to raise their children?

[Elim Garak]

Why is forcing in quotes? Forcing your kids to hug people they don't want to hug violates consent. This isn't subjective.



Because only overtly sexual gestures require consent, am I right? High five?

Don't be stupid.

On the topic of being stupid. Kids need to be taught that sometimes they must do things they don't like/want in life especially in response to a favor. It's a valuable lesson.

[Izalla]

It is exactly what this is about.

Except no, it's not, at all. "Letting your child know it's okay to say no to physical affection and not forcing them to engage in/allow it" is not the same as "ANYONE EVER TOUCHING ANYONE ELSE IN ANY WAY WITHOUT ASKING FIRST IS RAPE!"

[Elim Garak]

Except no, it's not, at all. "Letting your child know it's okay to say no to physical affection and not forcing them to engage in/allow it" is not the same as "ANYONE EVER TOUCHING ANYONE ELSE IN ANY WAY WITHOUT ASKING FIRST IS RAPE!"

No, you are wrong. This has nothing to do with teaching about saying no. A child shouldn't be able say no so casually to a parent - an authority figure that raises them - that's just insane to suggest that. Parents touch their children without child's consent, often with clear child's disapproval - and that's FINE.

[Izalla]

No, you are wrong. This has nothing to do with teaching about saying no. A child shouldn't be able say no so casually to a parent - an authority figure that raises them - that's just insane to suggest that. Parents touch their children without child's consent, often with clear child's disapproval - and that's FINE.

It's about protecting kids from sexual abuse, not telling kids their parents aren't allowed to parent them... If the parent is touching the child's genitals for sexual purposes, is it still fine? You're applying your own concept to a thread about something totally different.

[Doctor Amadeus]

So if a parent tells a child to go give a hug to aunty - it's ok? Because they are in charge of the child's care and know the best how to raise their children?

Well is the hug to aunty facilitated some kind of care directly for the child?

Because if Obviously not if the child isn't OK with it.

As to your second question NO!

I mean personally if it was my child I might ask what is going on and find out, however if they are just being a snot fuck everyone else I am making my kid hug their grandma


However everyone else should follow the rules, less they want to be labeled sick monsters, which they obviously would be.

[NihilSustinet]

No one should be forced against their will to hug or touch another human being, even and especially children.

[Elim Garak]

It's about protecting kids from sexual abuse, not telling kids their parents aren't allowed to parent them... If the parent is touching the child's genitals for sexual purposes, is it still fine? You're applying your own concept to a thread about something totally different.

How do you know if the purposes are sexual? And why are you voyeuring?

Telling a child to go give a hug is not sexual in nature. Hugs are not sexual in nature. Kisses are not sexual in nature either, unless you go tongues.

Well is the hug to aunty facilitated some kind of care directly for the child?

Yes, it's called parenting. Teaching a child to do what they might not want to do, because that's what life will be. For various reasons, from social to work.

[callipygoustp]

Anyone who thinks this isn't a black and white issue is completely delusional.

[Deleted]

What can I say? Truly impressed mankind survived so long.....

[Doctor Amadeus]

How do you know if the purposes are sexual? And why are you voyeuring?

Telling a child to go give a hag is not sexual in nature. Hugs are not sexual in nature. Kisses are not sexual in nature either, unless you go tongues.


Yes, it's called parenting. Teaching a child to do what they might not want to do, because that's what life will be. For various reasons, from social to work.

No touching isn't one of those things Elim you know what we are talking about specifically, come on. You do have a point too, but I think it's important to observe the pause all kidding aside if a kid doesn't want to hug might be a good time to sit them down and have a chat.

[Natureseer]

I also found this to be ridiculous but I feel like most of you didn't even read it lol. I suppose thats typical for mmo champ

[Rexosaurus]

No, not for me. I had been told about bad touching, but you never think that's actually gonna happen to you, you know? The situation was familiar at first, a friendly neighbourhood man who was nice to me and not at all threatening or creepy. By the time it was obvious what was happening was "bad touching" I was frozen. I obviously can't speak for everyone, but everything I know about abused kids and how they react to being abused, and my own personal experience, there is no adult logic there. It was less scary to me to go back to the guy's house and just hope it didn't happen again than to tell my parents it had happened at all, and it was somehow harder to say "stop, this is bad, don't do this to me" like I'd been told, than it was to remain silent and not be rude and confrontational with an adult. The most I could do was ask if "we" could stop. He was saying nice things to me the whole time, and it was very very hard to equate "very kind man who my parents know the name of who lives down the street" to "evil bad monster who is doing an evil bad thing my parents said is not okay".

Sorry for a slow-ish response, I wanted to fully digest your post.

I'm not gonna pretend that I can fully understand since I didn't go through that, but thank you for taking the time to explain it to me. You've definitely given me more sides of this to consider, even stuff beyond what the topic is explicitly about. Much appreciated.