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  1. #1

    How do I make my GF understand I have raid nights?

    Hey community

    So, I recently met this really nice girl, which eventually became my girlfriend, and we're freshly in love with each, yadda yadda.
    The 2 weeks we've been together now, we've spent almost all day, every day together, but I don't wanna give up raiding. I raid on a semi-hardcore basis, 4 nights a week on regular schedule.

    How exactly would you suggest that I get her to understand that I need to do these raids and that other people depend on me to be there? No, she won't go all like "omg asdjfsijf u play games? i leev", but I do think she'll find it weird that I have a schedule for gaming.

    So, yeah ^^ What do you think?

    Edit to clarify: At the moment I don't play 4 nights a week, since we have firelands on farm. We only raid like 1.5 raid night and the rest I spend on 'life', if you will. It's more complicated than just dropping the game, because it's become more than just raiding for fun. I've now been in this guild for a good amount of time, and I basically love these people in the guild. They are friends to me, and I would hate to stop having fun with them while we raid.
    I would easily be able to choose her over gaming, but I still wanna have time with those people in the guild, and unfortunately it has to be scheduled for obvious reasons.
    Last edited by Stokkeren; 2011-11-03 at 12:08 AM.

  2. #2
    Quote Originally Posted by Stokkeren View Post
    Hey community

    So, I recently got myself a girlfriend, and we're pretty madly in love yadda yadda.
    The 2 weeks we've been together now, we've spent almost all day, every day together, but I don't wanna give up raiding. I raid on a semi-hardcore basis, 4 nights a week on regular schedule.

    How exactly would you suggest that I get her to understand that I need to do these raids and that other people depend on me to be there? No, she won't go all like "omg asdjfsijf u play games? i leev", but I do think she'll find it weird that I have a schedule for gaming.

    So, yeah ^^ What do you think?
    Is she a gamer? If not, you might have a little bit of trouble there. Depends if she's of the "gamers are lazy ****s" mentality, or whether she's understanding herself.

  3. #3
    Herald of the Titans crakerjack's Avatar
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    Stop playing WoW and spend more time with her... It's a game.

    Most likely the wisest Enhancement Shaman.

  4. #4
    High Overlord kerghan's Avatar
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    depending on how cool she is with games -- get her to play too.
    Warning: this comment occasionally contains strong language (which may be unsuitable for children), unusual humor (which may be unsuitable for adults), and advanced mathematics (which may be unsuitable for liberal-arts majors).
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  5. #5
    Titan Kangodo's Avatar
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    just tell her you have a hobby, but your guild should be understanding too.. 4 evenings might be a lot..
    If you sacrifise gf-time for a game, you will have to sacrifise game-time for your girlfriend.

  6. #6
    Quote Originally Posted by kerghan View Post
    depending on how cool she is with games -- get her to play too.
    What this guy said. Definately get her hooked if you can. Just make sure she never makes officer rank cuz you might just find yourself without a raid spot if you two split.

  7. #7
    You're going to have to make a choice that will likely involve cutting back on raiding.

  8. #8
    FOUR NIGHTS? I understand why she is upset with you having something that doesn't involve her, but do involve lots of other people, on schedule more than 2 days a week.
    Well, you have an edge anyway. Cut that in half and she will not bother you with the other 2 days in exchange.

    Buu <= WHY I LOVE TO PLAY HUNTERS! => Pendleton

  9. #9
    Don't raid on a schedule and spend time with your girlfriend?

  10. #10
    Tell her that since you're hanging out with 9 (or 24?) of your guy friends, she can hang out with same number of guy friends for the night.
    Fair, is fair, right?

  11. #11
    She might not mind if you tell her straight up. Or make it sound like a hobby that people depend on you to be there for.

    Or you could take the easier route and raid less, more gf time. It's what I do because well, she's hotter.

  12. #12
    Well put it this way for her, she has that "time of the month". You have "that time of the week".

  13. #13
    i was raiding with my GF at one time =) was pretty nice, worked well and all that, but the GM was a dick so we left lol
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  14. #14
    Tell her 9/24 other people are depending on you. Personally, my boyfriend and I make our friends & family very aware what days we are to be considered dead to the world lol.

    Also, get her to play WoW!

  15. #15
    Quote Originally Posted by Stokkeren View Post
    Hey community

    So, I recently got myself a girlfriend, and we're pretty madly in love yadda yadda.
    The 2 weeks we've been together now, we've spent almost all day, every day together, but I don't wanna give up raiding. I raid on a semi-hardcore basis, 4 nights a week on regular schedule.

    How exactly would you suggest that I get her to understand that I need to do these raids and that other people depend on me to be there? No, she won't go all like "omg asdjfsijf u play games? i leev", but I do think she'll find it weird that I have a schedule for gaming.

    So, yeah ^^ What do you think?
    I would say if you were "pretty madly in love" you would want to spend more then just 2 weeks getting to know eachother before saying "I'm giving up time about 4 nights each week to be with you to play video games online "
    Last edited by Pool of the Dead; 2011-11-02 at 11:34 PM.

  16. #16
    Mechagnome Bog's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by crakerjack View Post
    Stop playing WoW and spend more time with her... It's a game.
    no,if you like WoW then keep playing it,if she cares about u then she will understand

  17. #17
    Just speak to her.

    Tell her that WoW is your hobby, which you share with others.
    Tell her that there is a calendar in which you people make out dates where you all play together.
    And tell her that no one in this group of people can be simply exchanged because this
    game needs some skill and teamwork which needs to be build up in a group.

    It's best if you have fixed raid times, like twice in the week or so.
    You can tell your girlfriend these dates and she can plan things for herself while you raid,
    like meeting with her friends.

  18. #18
    Have fun with your girlfriend and maybe get her epixx! or Raid 4 nights a week and maybe get an epic hmmz
    Yup that's a real tough one *cough*

  19. #19
    i've been a gamer for a very long time, and had many relationships over the years, and here is my advice based on my experience:
    1. be up front and honest about your gaming from the very start - don't hide it or try to not do it at first, otherwise it will just be a bigger problem later.
    2. if she gets weird on you about it, make it clear that your gaming is no different from guys who watch football, or have poker nights, or whatever other thing you can think of that people do... people have hobbies that eat up their time, just because yours is gaming doesn't make it any less valid.

    i personally got to the point where i just told women up front: "you need to understand that my computer and i have a relationship that was here before i met you, and will be here long after we break up. if i could have sex with the CD-rom drive, you would be irrelevant. just so we're clear on this"

    of course, if you're young and in love that level of cynicism probably isn't something you're capable of yet, but if you're still playing games in your late 20's/early 30's it's a very convenient way of cutting the BS at the start of a new relationship.
    Last edited by Malkiah; 2011-11-02 at 11:36 PM.

  20. #20
    Quote Originally Posted by WrathDksCataFrostPandaFtl View Post
    Is she a gamer? If not, you might have a little bit of trouble there. Depends if she's of the "gamers are lazy ****s" mentality, or whether she's understanding herself.
    I don't think she would think that. I spend a lot of time on fitness and am very fit. It's just.. Yeah, not sure if she would understand :P

    Quote Originally Posted by Kangodo
    just tell her you have a hobby, but your guild should be understanding too.. 4 evenings might be a lot..
    If you sacrifise gf-time for a game, you will have to sacrifise game-time for your girlfriend.
    I used to use a lot of hours a day gaming before I started studying again, but now I don't mind not gaming at all all day, since I can spend time with her. My guild does understand it if I have an appointment (to a certain degree) since we're just farming 7/7 hc firelands at the moment, but once a new raid comes out, I have to have a 100% attendance raid since we want to maintain our server 1st rank. If I do something with my gf, it can easily drag into the evening, which will derp with my raiding.. ugh

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