How do I tell my dad that I want him to move out?

[Feefel]

My parents are divorced and my dad came to live "temporarily" with us when my mom had her hysterectomy back in March. He had a home and a car then, but wouldn't leave after my mom was better. He moved out of his rented house and broke his car and made my mom pay for it. He's a nuisance on our whole family and makes us spend money we don't have to and go out of our way to do things for him and it puts alot of stress on us all. I love my dad, I really honestly do, but how can I get him to move out to his own apartment or whatever to make my family life easier on all of us? I really don't want to hurt his feelings and I know I'll feel terrible about it all but it would positively benefit all of us.

And yes, for the record I have asked my therapist, friends, etc, about this, but it couldn't hurt to get your opinions too.

[Snugglees]

I honestly would just ask something along the lines of "how has the apartment searching gone?". It'll probably hurt him but to be honest I don't think any way will make it not hurt. It is pretty much saying "I dont want you to live here anymore.". You just gotta get it over and done with. :|

This is just my opinion don't take it as gospel or anything.

[MAGAmobile]

No matter what any of us say or what you do for that matter, you WILL end up hurting his feelings, so get that little pity notion out of your head. If I were going to do anything about it if it happened to me, I would basically say look, this is reality, where there is more than just you in the world and give him a few options: Either get his shit together or you're going to get kicked out. You can love him all you want, but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate him or like his actions. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's the honest truth the way I see it.

[Pendulous]

I honestly would just ask something along the lines of "how has the apartment searching gone?". It'll probably hurt him but to be honest I don't think any way will make it not hurt. It is pretty much saying "I dont want you to live here anymore.". You just gotta get it over and done with. :|

This is just my opinion don't take it as gospel or anything.

Depends on the kind of person he is. I have a friend who has been mooching off his wife working 80 hours a week while he doesn't even bother to try to find a job. His ego has not been hurt by our friends' demeaning him, asking him similar questions.

[Feefel]

No matter what any of us say or what you do for that matter, you WILL end up hurting his feelings, so get that little pity notion out of your head. If I were going to do anything about it if it happened to me, I would basically say look, this is reality, where there is more than just you in the world and give him a few options: Either get his shit together or you're going to get kicked out. You can love him all you want, but that doesn't mean you have to tolerate him or like his actions. I'm not trying to be mean, but it's the honest truth the way I see it.

No I understand.

[moros]

well as a parent, he should understand "tough love." don't try and corner him, or give him dead lines, that will just make him feel like he's in a hopeless situation. be firm, honest and direct. regardless of how he takes it, if things have gotten to the point where you are asking so many people what to do about this situation, then something shouldbe done. be proactive before things take a turn for the worse, and go sour.

tl:dr treat 'em like an adult, and hope he reacts like one.

[Naposim1337]

Hi dad, i want you to move out.

[Vantheus]

My parents are divorced and my dad came to live "temporarily" with us when my mom had her hysterectomy back in March. He had a home and a car then, but wouldn't leave after my mom was better. He moved out of his rented house and broke his car and made my mom pay for it. He's a nuisance on our whole family and makes us spend money we don't have to and go out of our way to do things for him and it puts alot of stress on us all. I love my dad, I really honestly do, but how can I get him to move out to his own apartment or whatever to make my family life easier on all of us? I really don't want to hurt his feelings and I know I'll feel terrible about it all but it would positively benefit all of us.

And yes, for the record I have asked my therapist, friends, etc, about this, but it couldn't hurt to get your opinions too.

Speak to your mother about it, she should be the one talking to him about it not you. If you are a minor it's not your call and if you're an adult and it's bothering you that much and not your mother then time for you to leave not him....basically mom's call to make not yours

[Professor Oak]

Like this:
"Dad, with all due respect, I need you to..."

Can't go wrong with: 'With all due respect' It never fails