Everybody lies. Everybody cheats (in one way or another).
Yes, but I wouldn't tell my significant other.
Yes, but I would tell my significant other afterwards.
No, I would never do that.
Everybody lies. Everybody cheats (in one way or another).
Okay, so some of you would have an affair and some of you wouldn't and both sides can (in some cases) formulate a reasonable excuse as to why. But lets look at it this way...
What about any offspring that may result from said encounter, accidentally or otherwise? A child has a right to know both their Mother AND father. would your right to be duplicitous in this situation and keep the affair from your partner over-rule the child's right to know BOTH its parents? how many kids out there are screwed over because, hey sorry but id rather not get found out than give you a balanced normal upbringing?
please don't give me any of that 'he's just a sperm donor' bullshit, a biological parent is a biological parent no matter what the living situation.
all in all if your going to have an affair face up to the fact that you are not acting in a hermetically sealed vacuum, there are ALWAYS consequences for someone even if you couldn't give a shit.
All I will say is; learn to control your urges.
We are all humans, we have needs, we feel urges, we have the ability to control our feelings in favor of <insert something you believe in, love, companionship, faith, trust, e.g.> If you want to avoid feeling guilt then think before you act, otherwise you have to live with your mistakes, do what you see fit but keep in mind things may come to bite you in the ass so keeping quiet isn't always smart either, face your lover and prove you are good enough for them, if you hide things and act in secrecy then it won't do any good to your relationship and will most likely break down anyway. Don't let your actions harm the other person, let them at least go on with their lives...
Aeryana: "Gentlemen, we have a highlander."
Also, the "it's just sex" argument is so disgusting. You honestly don't care for somebody if you're going to use that argument to cheat, aka rip their trust apart. Bring it up to them and make it aware that you would like to. If they say no, and you still want to, well either do not cheat and hold your urges or break up with them. Stop being such a weak person. xD
I've always been a strict believer in not cheating... I figured, if I ever got to the point that I wanted to commit infidelity, it was time to end the relationship. That being said, I've never actually faced the situation, but I like to believe I'd stick to my convictions...
1) I've never been interested in casual relationships
2) I've always been very slow to fall in/out of love
3) I've been cheated on in the past.
I never have and never would cheat on my SO; I'm completely loyal and expect the same from her. Sure, I might look if a pretty woman goes past, but I may do the same for a nice car or an animal. Its just appreciating the physical form, there's nothing more to it than that.
I have no problem if a couple I'm friends with have an open relationship - so long as both know what's going on and are happy, I don't care. On the flip side if your SO thinks it's a committed relationship and you're sleeping around, that's a pretty nasty thing to do.
It depends on a lot of factors.
Basically, my stance on the issue is that there are three possibilities :
-> You and/or your partner don't care about fidelity, and you are allowed or feel allowed to have sex with anyone you want ;
-> You and/or your partner do care about fidelity, but you meet someone that is just so attractive to you that you can't resist her/him, and you end up having sex with that person ;
-> You and/or your partner do care about fidelity, but something's wrong in your relationship, be it sex-related or otherwise, maybe your significant other did or said something horrible to you that day, or something like that, and you either feel the need to have an affair, or meet someone whom you can't resist (see above).
Personally, I do care about fidelity, and unless I'm with someone who, for some reason, doesn't mind me having sex with other people (and assuming I'd want to, which isn't a given either), then I'd never cheat on my partner out of a "I don't care" mindset. So that leaves the other two options, and in both cases, I think it's "acceptable", or at least understandable, to have an affair, and that you should talk to your partner about it.
In the first case, I think it's important to let her/him know that you screwed up, not only out of respect for her/him, but because it could make sure you don't screw up again ; not talking about it could lead you to be tempted again, whereas if you get a good kick in the teeth the first time around (metaphorically speaking, of course), you may think twice about it the next time. In the second case, it's even more important to explain what happened, and most importantly why it happened : did your partner do/said something ? Did you feel like she/he was showing you enough affection ? That sort of thing. If you cheated on your partner because you're not as happy as you should be in your relationship, that's something you should talk about.
Just my two cents, obviously.
Last edited by Rofty; 2011-11-25 at 04:27 PM.
Perfect example of why "community" forums are poisonous to the health of a development team. These developers are wasting hundreds of hours trying to stem the tide of incessant bitchery that would never, ever abate so long as these entitled, unfortunate human beings don't get their way.
People need to seriously ask themselves this question: Do I want to be monogamous? If the answer is no, then they should seek a partner who feels the same way and arrange their relationship around it. The fact that this never occurs to most people, or that many people find this a bad idea, always blows my mind. I've been in an open relationship for many years now and it's been a wonderful, wonderful experience. It's the most solid, trustful relationship I've ever been in.
1) The relationship you have with your girlfriend is so casual that you're totally willing to discard her for whatever better comes along, and she's the same with you... in which case go for it, seeing as you're not in a real relationship anyway
2) You're in a defined polyamourous/open relationship... in which case, there's no issue
3) You're in a relationship where you've told your SO you care about them, and it's not open/polyamourous... in which case, you're a piece of entirely worthless trash and don't deserve to have an SO in the first place.
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Having thoughts about what X Woman would be like intimately is sadly a biological thing, that thought is hard wired into us as men, ACTING on it is the realm of "Beasts and animals" in the respect that we have an evolved intelligence and morals, we developed this behavior as a defense mechanism to ensure the survival of our evolved offspring back when were looked like monkeys because it made they're survival chance higher. we do it now so we have peace in our current relationships, trust is built up and once you cheat it gone...some women forgive cheaters, but they NEVER forget it, it hurts them more than if they actually left and got a new partner. Besides cheating is realm of fools and weak spineless children. Ive been hit on by some women that were models when I had a GF....I said I'm in a relationship and if you cant respect that I need to get somebody elses nere to help you do X. It worked with all but one..and i left her got a new helper for her and never turned back. 2 things you never do to a woman, cheat or lie, keeps your karma clear for old age.
Not flying my Sig because somebody got butthurt because I posted a question that they didn't like in they're little pet post and sicked ScrapBot on me :P
So yeah, even though most people voted "No" many of them are lying to themselves. Wonder how many men who's bloodlines actually unknowingly ended but the name carried on through another mans child.
if they're famous and attractive, it'd be verry difficult to say no
The only thing that makes "famous" partners kinda special is being able to say you did.