Yes, but I wouldn't tell my significant other.
Yes, but I would tell my significant other afterwards.
No, I would never do that.
There's a difference between cheating, and having multiple partners. Cheating requires an active engagement with your significant other in which you both agree to be monogamous, but one of the parties engages in sexual acts outside of this agreement. Taking word for word from this quote, he's saying he's slept with other women while his girlfriend was expecting a monogamous relationship.
In other posts Magisleeper has said he is open about having multiple partners outside his relationship, and his significant other is as well. This is not cheating, if it's previously agreed upon as being alright.
So really, I think everyone attacking him is confused about his meaning. I had to read through the thread to get his point, which I agree with. Sex with other partners is fine if you and your significant other agree to it beforehand.
Cheating, as defined by one engaging in sexual activities with another partner who is not their significant other without their significant other agreeing to it beforehand however, is not fine. I'm perfectly happy in a monogamous relationship, and cannot forsee myself cheating on my soon-to-be-wife. Not for some religious ideology (I'm an atheist), but simply because that's how I choose to love, and we agree on this point. If one of us did not, then the relationship wouldn't exist today.
I've been cheated on, while I was struggling to hold on to a crumbling relationship. 8 months later I found out she was pregnant, and 3 months later she had the baby (this puts her at 11 months after our relationship ended.) For two months I was on edge, worrying that I had a baby on the way with a woman I wanted nothing to do with anymore. Luckily, after the 9th and 10th months came and went, I knew I was in the clear.
I'm a firm believer in to each their own, so long as you do not harm someone else, physically or emotionally, in the process.
At those saying everyone cheats or everyone wants to...
Just because you have irresistible urges to break your partner's trust doesn't mean we all do. I think the absolute hardest part though is finding the right person though. Someone you'd never want to cheat on who is completely devoted to you and fulfills your every desire.
Hard to say, but I think I could resist temptation. Not in a relationship right now, but I consider myself a trustworthy person and I expect the same of my partners. I would be even put off if a girl dumped their boyfriend to get with me (if thats the best legitimate reason at least).... if I consider that important, I don't think I could ever cheat and live with the guilt.
If this is understood beforehand it is in no way a violation of trust as it was not implied to begin with, furthermore where does this continual assumption come in to play that the moment two people begin dating they are 'exclusive'?
Now the point I, and a couple others have been hammering at here is that everyone wants to be with someone other than their lover, spouse, bf, gf, or otherwise significant other at some point for some reason if only in a fanstastical sense. If you have ever looked at another person and imagined, if only in your mind for a moment, what it would be like to have sex with them, you wanted to cheat. Just because you did not act on the desire does not mean the desire did not exist! I cannot stress this enough, just because we have a desire to do something does not mean we will automatically act on that desire, those are base instincts, and being able to overcome our instincts is one of the key differences between us and wild animals.
Ok, I cant recall if I said I wasnt going to post again before or not but go ahead flame me with more of your 'I would never cheat and your a monster for suggesting I would' nonsense again.
I couldn't. Not that I never appreciate other men's looks, or if they're hot, but I've just never found sex so important as to ruin a relationship of a lifetime for a fling. I value my relationship with my fiancee far above what I could ever experience in bed with a stranger. And I know that goes both ways with us.
I do not understand these "other women" either. I couldn't imagine sleeping with a man I knew to be married or in a relationship. I can't imagine I would feel all that proud of myself. (This goes to "other men" too, but I think it's bit more common the other way around?)
I don't really understand the whole concept either. If you have promised your spouse fidelity, sleeping with another person is a direct violation to their trust. If you cannot keep your hands off other people when you're in a relationship, you shouldn't be in a relationship. If you want a relationship with the person you're with, you don't cheat. That simple.
Now, open relationships are a different matter altogether, but I think that would be really hard to handle without any jealousy. I've met a person who had an open relationship with his girlfriend. He was very popular with women and I really do not wonder why. I never met his girlfriend though, so I cannot know what she really thought about it.
Would I fuck someone else? Definitely, if they were hotter and I was attracted to them.
But I'd confess afterwards.
I personally will never have any sexual experiences with anybody other than my significant other, and guess what, I'm happy with that. She satisfies my needs, and I don't need anybody else. Have I ever thought about it being with anybody but her? Yes, when I was 14 and young, but I actually dislike the idea of being with anybody else but her. That was about it.
We've been together for almost 7 years now, and unlike ag666's belief, I'm only really interested in her. Do I find other girls attractive? Of course, but I don't have the urge to cheat, regardless what some kid thinks on the internet. (:
I have an open relationship with my boyfriend, so we can fool around with others as much as we want to. As long as we don't tell eachother about it.
And it doesn't happen so often. If you love your partner you kinda want to stay with only him/her but sure, sometimes it's nice to be with someone else for a night just as long it's only sex and nothing else.
Honestly, I see myself being the one that's cheated on, because I just don't care enough to prevent things like this from happening, and because I don't shower people with love and affection, even if they're my significant other. I would not be surprised if the blame for their cheating was placed on me, because it was likely my fault, because I didn't 'love' them enough.
To answer whether or not I would personally: Would I? No. Would I feel guilty about it? No. Would I tell my significant other? No.
If I can't be the sex symbol, then I can definitely be the BITCH
Relationships vary from person to person and situation to situation. Some people have monogamous relationships full of love and trust that last their entire lives, other people suffer in a situation not of their choosing or based on following social conventions that run contrary to their natures. Fidelity, as I see it, is a contract with one's partner on the terms of a relationship amicable to both parties... rules are set, boundaries observed, and conventions agreed upon to the benefit of everyone involved. If you are looking for a 1-on-1, completely monogamous relationship with another person then by all means seek it out... just remember to ensure your partner agrees and can live with your terms. The same is a true of an open relationship... if you respect your partner, you ensure that they understand the nature of the relationship from the outset.
Fidelity means a lot of things... but the essence is in not betraying your partner's expectations and trust in you. For some people, this extends to sex with other people... for others, it is a more emotionally-centered quality and doesn't extend to the act of sex. If you find a partner (or partners) that agree with you on the terms, you'll have a difficult time of being unfaithful unless you set out explicitly to break their trust in you.
Last edited by Aucald; 2011-11-28 at 03:34 PM.
Everyone has a story they tell themselves to justify bad decisions - and it never matters. In the end, you are always alone in your actions.
It's the same as the people who told me her and I wouldn't last past High School, and Middle School, and so on.
Peace ~ Believe what you want, it doesn't matter since we're never going to talk again, but if we ever do: you'll see that girl never came along.
Last edited by crylo; 2011-11-28 at 07:47 PM.