Fidelity.

[GUESSWHOIAM]

Without being called a liar I can constructivly respond to this:

In most relationships fidelity is considered an absolute and unerstood foundation for the relationship, and it can work at times. The fact is there is so much temptation out in the world and so much unhappieness in most longterm relationships that fidelity becomes a horible burden. The stress that can be relieved by 30m of angry physical relations with another person is immense and while it may sicken you to think of that happening it is only more encentive to resolve your problems and be happy in your relationship.

Honestly the idea that if your partner has sex with another person you will leave them immediatly forever is horrid! Its only sex! I can imagine leaving someone because they no longer love or support you but a short physical ineraction is no reason to abandon another.

Saying you will never love someone if they have sex with anyone else is like saying "I love chocolate, if you ever eat vanilla I will leave you"

You eat some vanilla ice cream one day, your SO finds out and leaves you.

This is just as arbitrary as sex. -Did they still love you?- Did you love them- Were you happy- These are the things that matter, not wether they had some ice cream...

Thank you.

[Forde]

Never cheated, never will, I refuse to go against my feelings for someone just for "fun." I don't see why people think it's so great, because it makes no sense to why someone is in a relationship in the first place... why go against your relationship, that is something you wanted, just for a night or two of fun? it makes not sense to me. So that's my opinion, cheating is worthless, and I would never do it.

[Last Starfighter]

I wise man once said: "If you can't be with the one you love, love the one your with."

---------- Post added 2011-11-25 at 06:31 AM ----------

Never cheated, never will, I refuse to go against my feelings for someone just for "fun." I don't see why people think it's so great, because it makes no sense to why someone is in a relationship in the first place... why go against your relationship, that is something you wanted, just for a night or two of fun? it makes not sense to me. So that's my opinion, cheating is worthless, and I would never do it.

What if the girl you're cheating with is way hotter?

[rektbrah]

im always on the prowl for gash

[Last Starfighter]

im always on the prowl for gash

That's what I'm talkin about.

[herpderpslurp]

no i could never hurt my boyfriend that way. and i could never forgive it if my boyfriend ever cheated on me. it would be the end of the relationship the second i found out, there would be no second chance after that. i just dont have any use for people who cant be loyal to the people they love.

[-Zait-]

I've been in that kind of situation before, I stayed loyal.

*pats self on back

[Stir]

Honestly the idea that if your partner has sex with another person you will leave them immediatly forever is horrid! Its only sex! I can imagine leaving someone because they no longer love or support you but a short physical ineraction is no reason to abandon another.

It's not about the sex. It's about trust.
When you engage in a normal relationship, you devote yourself exclusively to your partner, and they to you. It is a choice the both of you make for love; a binding of trust, if you will, and one that is completely voluntarily.
If you don't feel like you can have such a relationship, then maybe you should try to have an open relationship. This is a relationship where you devote yourself emotionally to only one person, but you're allowed to experiment outside of your relationship as long as those experiments are not love-related.
Then there's also polyamory/polygamy. In this relationship construction, you are free to build up a relationship with multiple people... Which, in my eyes, kind of defeats the whole purpose of relationships entirely, but hey; some people do well enough in such relationships.
If you can't remain faithful, then there's still no reason to cheat on your partner. There are three solutions which are much better:
-Breaking up before having sex with someone else. This is the honest way of doing it. You're not breaking their trust.
-Opting for an open relationship. At least you'll have consent, your partner is aware of your actions, and you offer the same to your partner.
-Opting for a polyamorous relationship.

I myself have never cheated on my partners. And I've had all the chances, honestly. I've shared beds with people who were interested (sleeping over and such; not the physical bedding someone), and people have tried to tempt me. But for all that, I actually wasn't even tempted. Yes; I'm faithful by nature, and I understand that everyone is an individual, natures differ, so not everyone is faithful by nature. But at least have the guts to own up to your nature before you start a relationship with someone. They have a right to know.

[Cthulhu 2020]

Before you answer this poll, ask yourself this:

If your SO had the opportunity to cheat on you with an attractive, sexy person, and you would never find out, would you encourage them to do it, or be ok with it?

Then answer the poll that way.

If you can't stand to be cheated on, then don't cheat. Simple as that. If you wouldn't give a f-, then by all means... go right ahead. Because I guarantee you, if you cheat, you will be cheated on. Guaranteed. Whether they find out or not.

It's not about the sex. It's about trust.
When you engage in a normal relationship, you devote yourself exclusively to your partner, and they to you. It is a choice the both of you make for love; a binding of trust, if you will, and one that is completely voluntarily.
If you don't feel like you can have such a relationship, then maybe you should try to have an open relationship. This is a relationship where you devote yourself emotionally to only one person, but you're allowed to experiment outside of your relationship as long as those experiments are not love-related.
Then there's also polyamory/polygamy. In this relationship construction, you are free to build up a relationship with multiple people... Which, in my eyes, kind of defeats the whole purpose of relationships entirely, but hey; some people do well enough in such relationships.
If you can't remain faithful, then there's still no reason to cheat on your partner. There are three solutions which are much better:
-Breaking up before having sex with someone else. This is the honest way of doing it. You're not breaking their trust.
-Opting for an open relationship. At least you'll have consent, your partner is aware of your actions, and you offer the same to your partner.
-Opting for a polyamorous relationship.

This. This. This. This. This. A thousand times THIS.

The problem with telling someone you want an open relationship though? Most cheating d-bag guys know they can't get the girl if he wants an open relationship. Girls want the commitment.

[Nikkaszal]

There's a special circle of hell resevred for those who choose to abuse the trust given to them by a significant other who cares.

Unless you're in a specific open relationship, it's never OK. End of story.

[Grinderofl]

By the way, where's the option "I would only be in a non-exclusive relationship"? There are swinger couples, who sleep with whoever, wherever and whenever they want and the other side does the same, they both know about it, and they gladly do it. They still love each other and put themselves higher on post than the random strangers they sleep with. Hell, those couples have three/four/fivesomes with other people/couples for all you know, and I'm positive there's quite a few of them here on MMOC.

(I.e. they allow each other to cheat and in some cases even encourage it)

e: Oh yay, I was beaten to it while writing :P

[Last Starfighter]

There's a special circle of hell resevred for those who choose to abuse the trust given to them by a significant other who cares.

Unless you're in a specific open relationship, it's never OK. End of story.

What if it's in another country? And there's no possible way they would find out?

[Sunseeker]

What if it's in another country? And there's no possible way they would find out?

The "perfect crime" so to speak? Yet to be done...

[Elim Garak]

Infidelity is powered by animal instinct (reproduce as much as you can)
Fidelity is powered by animal instinct (keep your spouse)

It really depends on which is stronger in a person.

[mercutiouk]

So 1 in 3 would cheat, out of those that would cheat only 1 in 3 would say something about it. Interesting stats, probably about right.

[Coffer]

What if the girl you're cheating with is way hotter?

Except this boils down to 3 cases.

1. You don't know anything about the girl you're cheating with - well, it's just you not being able to control your primal instincts then.

2. You DO know what the girl you're cheating with is like, and she's worse than your SO - wat. Why would you even do this. This is worse than #1.

3. 2, only she's better than your SO - Still depends on what your SO is really like, but it'd still be better if you broke up with her beforehand.

[Nikkaszal]

What if it's in another country? And there's no possible way they would find out?

The point is that most relationships are based around the trust that each person has in the other, that they want to be with that one person.

Whether or not they'll "never find out" is irrelevant. Soon as you've crossed the line, you've shattered it.

[Elim Garak]

Everybody lies. Everybody cheats (in one way or another).

[Lily Crowley]

No. If you do so, you are weak and a disgusting shit.

[Deleted]

Okay, so some of you would have an affair and some of you wouldn't and both sides can (in some cases) formulate a reasonable excuse as to why. But lets look at it this way...

What about any offspring that may result from said encounter, accidentally or otherwise? A child has a right to know both their Mother AND father. would your right to be duplicitous in this situation and keep the affair from your partner over-rule the child's right to know BOTH its parents? how many kids out there are screwed over because, hey sorry but id rather not get found out than give you a balanced normal upbringing?

please don't give me any of that 'he's just a sperm donor' bullshit, a biological parent is a biological parent no matter what the living situation.

all in all if your going to have an affair face up to the fact that you are not acting in a hermetically sealed vacuum, there are ALWAYS consequences for someone even if you couldn't give a shit.