How to gain weight while girlfriend loses it?

[Kaiyu]

Hi all,

As per the title I'm looking for some help and advice on going about gaining weight while helping my girlfriend lose it.

When we've attempted this before it usually results in us both continuing to eat badly while I spend a lot of time avoiding food, not wanting her to gain anymore weight or tempt her.

During the week we both work and don't have breakfast or lunch together so I can continue to eat like a champ while she's not around. However dinner can be quite problematic, as can weekends.

What would you guys do in this situation? Where do I even really start with food/meal plans? We're both really up for doing this and as much as I love her the way she is I really want her to feel as good about herself as I feel about her. Doing it together seems rather tricky but I know that it'll be worth it as we can both support each other.

Thanks!

[Polygons]

Buy her healthy food from the supermarket, and eat healthier foods yourself to show your support. You can still eat like a champion you just have to learn to cook healthy meals. That's my two cents

[vizzle]

O.o Maybe you guys need to learn not to fall to temptation so easily just because she sees more food on your plate. Does it really have to be more complicated than that?

[Duncanîdaho]

If you make yourself something at home for lunch at work, make something for when your about to go home as well, and eat it before you get home. That way you can still eat less at dinner, feel full and not have to eat tons in front of her. Just make sure your still eating healthy even though you want to gain weight, or else your doing more harm then good.

[Kaiyu]

O.o Maybe you guys need to learn not to fall to temptation so easily just because she sees more food on your plate. Does it really have to be more complicated than that?

Well, I wish it didn't. Unfortunately, when she's complaining that she's hungry I'll quite easily skip a meal rather than rub it in her face. I really struggle to eat as much as I need to without guilt getting in the way.

Buy her healthy food from the supermarket, and eat healthier foods yourself to show your support. You can still eat like a champion you just have to learn to cook healthy meals. That's my two cents

What kind of healthy foods? This is what I'm looking for, stuff we can still eat together so I am showing my support. Or is it just going to be a case of giving her smaller portions?

[vizzle]

Well yeah, as the posters above said, just load up on the calories in the 2 meals that you guys don't eat together. Make sure you have your hefty fill of calories for the day before dinner even happens, so that when you eat dinner, you don't have to eat that much at all and you'll still gain weight.

[Nynax]

first, why are you trying to gain weight? im assuming you are underweight?

Also, dont focus so much on how much you eat, but what you eat. If your diet consists of mostly vegetables and fruits, with smaller portions of meat, then both of you can eat till your satisfied and reach a healthy weight. Add in regular exercise, say at least 3 times a week to start, and it'll really help her lose weight and you gain some (through muscle build up)

Always remember, it should never be about "weight" its about being HEALTHY

[Projali]

We're both really up for doing this and as much as I love her the way she is I really want her to feel as good about herself as I feel about her.

It doesn't really seem like from your current patterns that you're both "really up for doing this." Your behavior makes it seem like meal planning is just a concept that you guys have thought about in passing. You guys have different goals that can be similar in how you accomplish them.

First, write out on a piece of paper what each of your BIG PICTURE goals are. Then, set up a progressive, small achievement list under those. A really basic one would be: Ultimate goal - I want to step on a bodybuilding show stage by January 2013. Goal 1 - I want to gain 10lbs by Christmas. Goal 2- I want to raise by bench by 5lbs every week. Goal 3-...etc. You set smaller, achievable tasks that set you up to succeed at your ultimate goal. You hold yourself accountable to those tasks. If you only add 3lbs to your bench one week, that's okay. You need to recognize mistakes and adjust so you can continue to improve.

After you've clearly made your goals (ACHIEVABLE, don't just say you'll lose 50lbs in a month, that's pretty crazy), set up some meal plans and schedules. You guys work full days so plan out cooking times for you guys to make healthy meals together. Invest in some stackable tupperware (my godsend in maintaining/gaining weight). Make extra chicken breasts, brocolli, spinach salads, brown rice, yams and such so that YOU can have your necessary calories ready to go. Don't completely avoid sweets but don't leave them around the house to steer either you or your spouse from your goals. I know my roommate stuck to his weight loss plan much better when we all shopped together rather than him just grabbing a box of pop tarts with his other food.

If you keep it too abstract like you're doing now, you won't accomplish much.

[madmonk]

eat healthy with your girlfriend and if you want to gain weight through eating some more greasy food or fastfood, you can do that for lunch when she's not around. (or for breakfast, your choice)

[belfpala]

I actually have the same problem at the moment. I've been going to the gym often, trying to gain muscle mass. Meanwhile she goes to the gym also, trying to slim down. That means we have quite different workout programs and significantly different dietary needs.

When we go out, there's no problem. I just order what I need, she orders what she needs. Done.

It's a little different at home, of course, but not an impossible problem. We both cook, so that's not an issue. I just adjust my dish slightly, sometimes just taking a bigger portion (say, 2 slices of bread instead of 1) or other times adding more protein-heavy ingredients. For example, she makes an amazing chicken chili. She eats it as she makes it. I add a dollop of sour cream and some grated cheese.

End result: You can eat the "same" thing. You might just need to eat more of it, or adjust it in some way.

[Auloria]

Well, a random tip (not a problem-solver by any means): Serve your dinner on a large plate, hers on a small plate. I had to get my boyfriend to do this recently because when he cooks he serves me a TON of food. I'm half his size, if that.

Also, small portions, frequently, usually work better when losing weight, so if you plan it out, she can eat when you do, if you are spending all of your time together. You'll probably be having something really dense like weight-gain shakes, and she can have a yogurt with fruit, or something. Losing weight is especially hard at the beginning; maybe she needs to ramp up more slowly if motivation is a real problem. She doesn't have to lose 2 lbs a week if it means she will give up. Weight loss is only a part of getting healthy: exercising more might be easier for her: and then, even if she gains weight, it's probably muscle, which is awesome.

The solution may end up being that she really needs to pair up with someone else to motivate her in losing weight. Does she have any friends who might be willing to work out with her?

[Gorilla Eyes]

Well, eat healthy. Always eat healthy.

You can simply take bigger portions. Perhaps have a protein shake each day? A protein shake comprised of milk will net you a good source of calories.

[Narfwak]

Get your girlfriend to spend more calories. There's more than one path to a calorie deficit, and starving yourself is hardly the most healthy or sustainable method, anyway.

[Deleted]

Eat while your girlfriend doesn't see it (not very helpful I know) as situation is kinda unusual.

[lifeinblack]

i lost 40 pounds recently... didnt really change my eating, just cut out the snacks. and i signed up for kickboxing and did it a lot. every day.

[skyclops]

Plenty of protein foods for your girl chicken fish etc
For you lots of complex carbs jacket spuds,bananas,pasta etc

[Jurwi]

Hi all,

As per the title I'm looking for some help and advice on going about gaining weight while helping my girlfriend lose it.

When we've attempted this before it usually results in us both continuing to eat badly while I spend a lot of time avoiding food, not wanting her to gain anymore weight or tempt her.

During the week we both work and don't have breakfast or lunch together so I can continue to eat like a champ while she's not around. However dinner can be quite problematic, as can weekends.

What would you guys do in this situation? Where do I even really start with food/meal plans? We're both really up for doing this and as much as I love her the way she is I really want her to feel as good about herself as I feel about her. Doing it together seems rather tricky but I know that it'll be worth it as we can both support each other.

Thanks!

Eat different meals then? Me myself like meat, while my gf is nearly vegetarian. So yea, we usually eat totally different meals. No, I'm not gonna eat some shitty salad just cause she doesnt like meat.

[Deleted]

Protein Shakes, they might be absoloutely horrible but it does the job!

[restoxpresso]

Eat her! Do it!

[Jackmoves]

What kind of healthy foods? This is what I'm looking for, stuff we can still eat together so I am showing my support. Or is it just going to be a case of giving her smaller portions?

Well I don't really have this problem... what kind of food do you guys eat for dinner currently?

I'm guessing going vegitarian is out of the question?

Things that usually doesn't contain a lot of fat, fish, shellfish/seafood, lean white meat(chicken/turkey for example).

Salad's of different varieties can be really tasty and does not contain a lot of fat.

If I knew what you guys eat it would be easier to pin point what you should replace.

There is a lot of tasty food out there that isn't very "fatty". Avoid fat sauces.