Immediately Ban the Deadly Videogame Known as "SkyRim"

[Sylreick]

lmfao, all those signatures. My sides are splitting.

[SilenceDHEU]

"SIGNATURES NEEDED BY DECEMBER 24, 2011 TO REACH GOAL OF 25,000"

"TOTAL SIGNATURES ON THIS PETITION - 73"

... They'l be lucky to get over 100 i think. This is just insanely stupid..

"SkyRim" ? It's "Skyrim" for one.
"produced by Blizzard Entertainment" Erm, No, Bethesda.

"Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built" How? perversion, maybe, homosexuality? nope.
"Whereas a new video game has just been created that far exceeds any others in the psychological and spiritual damage it does " Spirit damage? The hell... Thats like, a kind of damage you take IN A VIDEO GAME.

Also, checking the signatures, Half of them are bullshit ones anyways! "Dovahkiin B" "Hamburger H" "Fus Ro Da H".

Just....

L.O.L.

[SvetlanaSvetlana]

1) 'SkyRim' is produced by Bethesda, not Blizzard
2) umlol
3) This can't be serious
4) Even if it was, it would be laughed at by all involved.

[Blznsmri]

I get that this is a troll site, but really, this is fucking dumb.

[Edge-]

It seems to me that it's a very, very well disguised troll

[Herecius]

This is a joke put on by a troll/joke website. Anybody who thinks it isn't a joke is crazy. There's nothing well disguised about it.. it's satire.

[elimin]

lol. Blizzard Entertainment. lol. lol. lol.

[Deleted]

I love how people are producing lists to point out the flaws in the petition...

It's
A
Joke

[hayharut]

lol, you had me there till i read "Blizzard Entertainment" then i was like XD


lol VVVV

Criminal Scu M

November 25, 2011
Signature # 32

[dignaidgnaiud]

From http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-sky...sex-maneuvers/

I honestly am just hurt in the head right now, I didn't know Stormwind was in Skyrim????







What is Skyrim?
If you are a responsible parent, then the world of MMORPG first person shooters should be something of a foreign language to you. In games like Skyrim, players are teleported to far away lands that are cream filled with demonic spell crafting, violent shirtless blood shed and exposed not only Satanic critters, but bombarded with gay under tones of fecal fornication.

In the land of Skyrim, the player starts off as a captured terrorist, who has been caught plotting to destroy the golden empire by using dragons. Before the player gets to take control of his avatar, they are asked to create a character, which is purely the liberal’s way of teaching out kids that modifying and gender changing one’s self is fun and normal. Once the player has decided if they want to be a female wood fairy or an black ogre from Stormwind, they get to take control of their hell spawned fictitious demon.

Right off the bat, the gay supporting software company Blizzard, shows the player images of decapitations and after the third of forth head chopping, a necromatic dragon appears and sets the player free from righteous punishment. Now that the player is free, they will spend the next 400 hours robbing people, killing villagers, crafting sexual items, fornicate with elves and other Harry Potter style animals and also learn how to conjure up black magic.

Throughout the game, the player is exposed to full frontal violence and replay style death killing finish moves. The graphics of this game are way too realistic for the type of blood shed they ejaculate all over the player’s CPU monitor.

The spells the player are taught are directly out of The Book of Wiccan and are far more dangerous than anything your child is watching on that Wizards at Waverly Place and Sabrina The Teenage Witch. When a player casts a spell, you will see the hand gesture is that of how homosexuals fling devil DNA juices at each other after a long night of fecal frenzy ass assassinations. This is subliminally teaching your children that they need to go in their rooms, demon whack their sin staff and produce sin milk into their hands and than fling it in the face of the first person they come in contact with after their taint tugging session.

Once they player has finish killing all the people in Skyrim, his final battle is to have a mass dragon orgy with his fellow homosexual warriors he meets on his way and all take turns impregnating the dragon with homosexual dragon eggs. Once the dragon has been backdoor feasted, the player must kill it. The dragon needs to be killed, so the spirit of death and gayness can enter the new eggs and reek havoc onto the rest of the world. This new destruction will be playable in the next Skyrim saga.

SKYRIM LINGO: DOVAHKIIN – Is the supposed citizens of Skyrim, but is a code word that means:
D – Dirty
O – Orifice
V – Violation
A – Always
H – Hurts
K – Keep
I – Injecting
I – It
N – Naiant

[Darkgod77]

If you want to ban Skyrim you can go suck one k? Skyrim is the ****!

[Fencers]

Whereas sexual perversion and homosexuality are threatening to destroy the Christian foundations on which this nation was built,

Hahaha! I would greatly like to play the version of Skyrim in which this is happening. Would be far more fun than what Bethesda actually developed.

Modders, get to work!

[Twotonsteak]

I think you mean 'extremists', or, even more accurately, satirists/trolls.

But yes, that's hilariously retarded. The problem is some people are clueless enough about the foundations of our government to think that they can actually get something like that passed. They can't.

More exactly such a ban is considered unconstitutional, as decided in a recent California case. In that incident the state of California attempted to legislate a rating system for all video games, meant to replace the current system which is voluntary. Video game companies argued that such legislation would violate their Freedom of Speech (I'm not kidding here) and won.

Besides, I can think of far more likely targets than this Skyrim...such as MW3, any of the GTA games, ect and so on.

*Penn and Teller: BS did an episode where they took an average nine-year-old boy named Harrison, who loves first-person-shooters, and gave him an actual assault rifle to fire (with his mothers approval, and under the supervision of a trained pro, of course).

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GLBx9...eature=related

What the link does not show, and I could not find, was that Harrison completely broke down in tears afterwards. Firing the rifle scared the cr@p out of him so badly he had to cling to his mother as he wept.

Remember...videogames don't make killers...the morons in Washington make people want to kill.

[Mazaxist]

haha erase it off internet... funny

[Togarox]

The names of the people who signed it are what make me laugh. "dsfdgfdg f", "ButtSe x", "Hamburgla R", "Gofugyourself F". People are pretty creative these days. Definately a joke though.

[Araya]

There is so much wrong with that I don't know where to start.

[BoomChickn]

This is the worst made petition ever.

Favorite signature: Wabba J

Wabbajack- turning people in to sweetrolls since 11/11/11 (And much more beforehand).

[noteworthynerd]

The names of the people who have signed that petition are absolutely hilarious, particularly "FUS RO DAH"...

[Noomz]

An expert troll if I ever saw one.
Don't think for a second that it's serious and you will do your sanity a favor.

[Ntimidate]

http://christwire.org/2011/11/is-sky...sex-maneuvers/

That site is ridiculous and I can see it comes from Christian extremists. "After Skyrim would you have gay sex?: 99% said 'yes'"; either people are trolling or trying way too hard.

I'm continuing to read different articles from the site and so far they are all too funny. It's like "Enquire" (or whatever the magazine is called; it makes up things about celebrities) in a way. I'm a Christian but these people are taking it way out of hand honestly.