The Logistics of a Breakup (5years)

[McFrotton]

I am also interested in this... Only I'm thinking of divorcing my wife of 10 years. Oh and we have a 2 year old.

Why divorce, just try to remember the good things, everything cannot be all clean and tidy, sometime you will face rough bump to go over other tim eit will be a mountain of shits that will seem unsurmountable(is this a word lol), In the end you marriage will only be more solid imo. I went trought rough time with my GF we had one kid back then, we found away to put aside our problem for our first girl (this was the first step) and after that we repaired our relationship (we fixed it with ducktape at first and then fixed it for good).

Seriously it cant be said enough COMMUNICATION is the best tool you have in those kind of situation. Many people around the 2-3 and 5-6 year mark just feel their relationship tend to be blend and without sense NORMAL you got into a routine and it is normal that things seems ''boring'' sometimes, JUST SPICE IT UP, When you married on the contract you signed it wasnt only written for the better ....but also for the WORSE, if it is in the ocntract it mean its gonna happen someday sometime lol.

OT: Why do you want to leave, what it your maiin reason for leaving ? (dotn tell me that you cant get along anymore this is easily fixed by talkign to each other)

[Deleted]

She hardly can go and work while she is taking care of your child, can she ? Maybe once the child is in its teens you can start paying less for your wife.

Lol.. what? Plenty of "single mothers" work and have their kid in daycare/kindergarten/school during the day. And I use the term single mother very loosely here, as theres probably a guy paying child support and taking are of the child part of the time..

[nza]

If you are to break up with someone, do NOT let time be a factor to stop you.

If you let "but I have already been with him for 5 years" stop you, that "time" will only get longer, next year it will be "but I have already been with him for 6 years" and so on.

Stay with him if you love him, see how it is if you see chance for improvement, if you don't see any improvement, or see any future with him, break it up.

Very true. Its going to be hard but nothing will progress and get better if it never happens. You are just prolonging the recovery an time to heal. Good luck and keep going forward in life. You have the power to create happiness. Enjoy your life an live it free an without regret. Make your own adventure an enjoy it!

People are put in our lives for various reasons..wether or not they are ment to stay is another story. If they do not stay, it will be hard but just cherish the days and good memories.

[Uncensored]

You should really talk to him and be straight about it. Don't be rude, mean, or defensive if he gets a little emotional and after 5 years, he's bound to feel a little hurt or even felt betrayed since he did help you out and now after helping, you seem to be seeking an exit. I'm not saying that is why you stayed longer, but it is a little convenient that you stayed an extra 2 years more than you should have.

And finally, don't kick him out. Since he did support your through college, the very least you can do is find your own place and not automatically assume that he need to be the one to move out. The respectful thing is for you to find your own place. Even more so if you wish to keep some kind of friendship with this man.

Don't wait for the end of the holidays to tell him. 5 years is about commitment and there is a good chance that there is plans for a ring, if there is not one already. Do you really want to crush him if he was to ask you to marry and you responded with, no? It's best you do it now.

[Aurust]

So, I've been with my boyfriend for 5 years (ages 19-24) and am thinking about breaking it off (for many reasons) - has anyone been in such a long relationship where you've lived together for the entire time and everything in your life is "shared" and nothing is really "you" or "him/her"? What were the logistics of your breakup?

Additions:


I have not yet told him... but I have decided it needs to be done.



This sounds exactly like my situation.. we've just grown apart.. and I honestly should have left 2 years ago when I first noticed it but I didn't want to hurt him and because he helped me immensely financially through college I just couldn't bring myself to do it... And the logistics of splitting everything up still scares the crap out of me... sighhhhhhhh



So now the question is... do I wait until after the holidays? I told him for now I just need some space...

He is prolly pretty sick of being with you also and is just keeping you around cuz ur an easy lay for him ( doesnt have to through all the hassle of getting a random chick to bang him). Just break it up and move on...he wont care too much about you but prolly more about the "investment" he lost by paying for your schooling and not getting a few more years of sex out of you.

Am i good at giving out advice or what.....

[Twoflower]

And yet plenty of women do just that.

Saying that you can't is just lazy. There's plenty of ways.

I said "take care of the child".

Putting it into a child center all day or having realtives watch em from 7 to 5 because you are out working isnt realy taking care of the child. I find it very unresponsable and I wouldnt think to begin starting to put a child into the world unless I have the next 10-15 years covered. If you dont wanna be there for your child, you can get and neglect a hamster instead.

[sadface]

I am also interested in this... Only I'm thinking of divorcing my wife of 10 years. Oh and we have a 2 year old.

jackass.. you have kids you stay till you DIE.. that's the rules

---------- Post added 2011-11-29 at 11:02 PM ----------

if you have no kids with the guy whats the problem?