I'm Single + happy!

[Grym]

When you are in a relationship your perspective change slightly and your priorities change to suite that, but it doesn't mean your freedom is more limited

It does.

I have a friend that got in a relationship, before that we always do lads night out once in a while, after the relationship, he can hardly come out, she wants him to be indoor most of the time, so we hardly get to see him. He DOES want to come out, just she didn't want him to so he doesn't go out to please her, his freedom IS limited in this case.He is single now and he is much happier and he doesn't want to go back to that again.

There are probably a lot more examples out there that having a partner DO limit your freedom, it is not what you WANTED, but you had to compensate or you want to keep the peace in the relationship so you decided not to make those choice. That is not "a change in perspective", that is "a sacrifice in order to get sex", which I am really against.

Nothing wrong with relationships, people are in it because they are happy in it. But there are a lot of sacrifices to be made, it is all depending on if you are willing to make those sacrifices for the person you are with. For me right now I am happily single until I meet someone that I am willing to make those sacrifices for.

[Fojos]

Relationships are hugely overrated.

[Scottishpaladin]

Being single is good because when im hungover I dont have to worry about cheating the night before!

[NewOrleansTrolley]

Being single can be fun for a while. But then you realize all the stuff you're missing out on. Plus when you get older, the life style of being alone is just sad usually.

[Deleted]

The OP is agreeable. All of my relationships so far (then again I am only 21), however they started, always ended with my dissatisfaction over the way my life is affected by the other person (couldn't do what I want, when I want, where I want, with whom I want). This is not to say I always end my relationships, that would be a blatant lie because they usually just fall apart themselves and end in passivity from both sides but there is always this aspect in the end.

Is single life better? Most of the time yes. I would dare to say that apart from sex there is like 5% of what I get from the relationship (the occasional time where I want to talk about something or just hold someone in bed) and 95% is what the other party is gaining and I am giving up (see above).

...Plus when you get older, the life style of being alone is just sad usually.

Honestly I think this stigma is slowly dying out and will be entirely gone in 20 years when you see by how much the marriage count has dropped and divorce rate skyrocketed.

[Jackmoves]

It does.

I have a friend that got in a relationship, before that we always do lads night out once in a while, after the relationship, he can hardly come out, she wants him to be indoor most of the time, so we hardly get to see him. He DOES want to come out, just she didn't want him to so he doesn't go out to please her, his freedom IS limited in this case.He is single now and he is much happier and he doesn't want to go back to that again.

There are probably a lot more examples out there that having a partner DO limit your freedom, it is not what you WANTED, but you had to compensate or you want to keep the peace in the relationship so you decided not to make those choice. That is not "a change in perspective", that is "a sacrifice in order to get sex", which I am really against.

Sorry but I disagree, I've been with my girl for close to 3 years and we both have time to hang out separately with our friends and also socializing with eachothers friends, she goes out with her friends and I will go out with my friends on a regular basis, I'm having dinner with my best buddies tomorrow as a matter of fact, some new thai resturant.

Cutting eachother of from friends and social events is not what I would consider part of any healthy relationship and if you accept and adjust to that in order to get sex you got no other then yourself to blame for being caught up in a bad relationship.

[Grym]

Being single can be fun for a while. But then you realize all the stuff you're missing out on. Plus when you get older, the life style of being alone is just sad usually.

How old is old?

I am still very happily single, I am not the needy type and doesn't always need companionship, and there are many out there that also doesn't.

Perks for relationship:
- compansionship (some happily without, some can't handle without, depends which type of person you are)
- sex (again, some can't handle without, some satisfy with hands)
- feel good factors (if you feel good about yourself being single, this point is null)

Can't think of any more at the moment, or may be that is it?

Perks for being single:
- total control over your decision (if you are the indecisive type you are screwed)
- total freedom (but point is null if you are the type that always bored, then you would rather desire for companionship)
- better finance (relationship cost money)
- better material luxury, car/PC/general life style (due to better finance)

May be it will change for me later, but right now the perks for being single FAR outweight the perks for being in relationship. If people want to play badminton after work, I can just decide to join them without having to ask my GF first in case she has something planned. Or if I just want to stay in that day but GF want to do something fun, I have to choose to either let myself relax and disappoint her, or man up and go out but knowing I am not in the right mood for it.

Right now I already don't have enough free time for myself, let alone cutting that personal free time down for GF. I am not the type of people that get bored so I am not needy for companionship, so a lot of the perks for being in relaionships are null for me. Yes I do miss the sex, but I can do without knowing the amount of other sacrifices it comes with.

[Fudge]

10 years of marriage here. I miss being able to make decesions based on what I want and need vs my spouse and family.

[Jackmoves]

- better finance (relationship cost money)
- better material luxury, car/PC/general life style (due to better finance)

How in gods name do you come to that conclussion? You will afford more things as a couple since you got(hopefully) two sources of income.

[Deleted]

10 years of marriage here. I miss being able to make decesions based on what I want and need vs my spouse and family.

True words there. My older brother is also married since 5 years or so and he says the same things. It is nice to have a wife and kids and I would also like that when I'm 30 or so but you have to think that you need to make a lot of decisions and can´t do what you want because you have to take care of them.

[Deleted]

How in gods name do you come to that conclussion? You will afford more things as a couple since you got(hopefully) two sources of income.

I assume he is a male who earns very solid amounts. I will be the same after law school. This happy single life thing doesn't work well without good job and solid income.

Anyway in a relationship there are two options

1) either you get a wife that earns (much) less than you and will spend your money PLUS control what you do with it
2) Or you get a wife that earns a lot, same as you, then together you are likely milioners but you don't even need that much money in the 1st place PLUS you once again don't have the freedom over your spendings

[Deleted]

23 years of being single and I don't see one single reason why I'd want to change that.
Companionship? No, thanks.
Sex? Screw it!
Relationships only generate completely unnecessary problems.

[Deleted]

As long as u have friends u can relate to beeing single isn't something bad.

U get the positive aspekt by hanging around with them and don't get feed up. Living with someone and just meeting someone from time to time is competely different.

If you are having a realtionship for the sake of relationship you should just buy a dog. Same can be said about wanting a baby.


I personally hate the couples who shut themselfes off from their friends over time.

[Collegeguy]

Being unmarried right now is actually the highest its been for decades.

[Jackmoves]

I assume he is a male who earns very solid amounts. I will be the same after law school. This happy single life thing doesn't work well without good job and solid income.

Anyway in a relationship there are two options

1) either you get a wife that earns (much) less than you and will spend your money PLUS control what you do with it
2) Or you get a wife that earns a lot, same as you, then together you are likely milioners but you don't even need that much money in the 1st place PLUS you once again don't have the freedom over your spendings

Nothing of what you said really holds any streangth as you don't need to be controled thats the whole point. What you earn isn't part of the equation, at least not for me and my girlfriend.
We share the common bills 50/50, rent, insurances, electricty, internet etc.
Food is pretty random, whoever is close to a store will pick up whats missing at home... we pay our cell phone bills indivually as well.

After that we spend our own money as we see fit, she got her money and I got mine, if we want to travel somewhere we come to a conclussion on where both of us want to go and save money together.

So had I lived on my own I would have less money to spend on material things.

[Deleted]

I used to be happy about being single until I met someone, now I'm just miserable.

[Waltzinblack]

Single, and not so happy about it.

I broke up with a girl a while back, and was single, and happy. Hadn't a care in the world. Long story short, I'm a guy that is incredibly easy to piss off and anyone that annoys me in the slightest I would have absolutely no problem with shooting them in their fat fucking skulls. This kept me happy as I didn't want to have a relationship. Until, unfortunately, I now know the absolute perfect person and I'm in love with her, and I'm not even sure I want a relationship, but it's confused me to hell and I'm depressed as fuck. She's not interested and my love life is horrible.

[Deleted]

Nothing of what you said really holds any streangth as you don't need to be controled thats the whole point. What you earn isn't part of the equation, at least not for me and my girlfriend.
We share the common bills 50/50, rent, insurances, electricty, internet etc.
Food is pretty random, whoever is close to a store will pick up whats missing at home... we pay our cell phone bills indivually as well.

After that we spend our own money as we see fit, she got her money and I got mine, if we want to travel somewhere we come to a conclussion on where both of us want to go and save money together.

So had I lived on my own I would have less money to spend on material things.

Nothing of what you said really holds any strength too because all of those things can be acomplished with a roommate...

The financial side shouldn't be a part of this discussion. Yes, if you don't earn enough money (which is subjective so according to your PoV) then you will be much better off in a relationship. This is nothing new, marriages out of love are basicly 20th century concept, for thousands of years before that people were getting together mostly for the financial help.

[Jackmoves]

Nothing of what you said really holds any strength too because all of those things can be acomplished with a roommate...

The financial side shouldn't be a part of this discussion. Yes, if you don't earn enough money (which is subjective so according to your PoV) then you will be much better off in a relationship. This is nothing new, marriages out of love are basicly 20th century concept, for thousands of years before that people were getting together mostly for the financial help.

You misunderstand what Im saying.
If two guys earn the exact same amount of money but one of them is single and have to pay all his bills alone he will have less money to spend then the person who is in a relationship sharing the common bills.

If you are in a relationship to save money ... well that concept doesn't exist for me. :P

What I'm trying to say is that these two points below are wrong, granted that you actually have a semi shared household economy, and that applies to poor and rich people, not to mention if you single and are out activly dating, partying and hooking up with random girls you will spend more money on women then you are doing in a relationship.


- better finance (relationship cost money)
- better material luxury, car/PC/general life style (due to better finance)

[Lysah]

Your decisions only affect you and do not involve a partner's wants or needs.
You can concentrate on doing things you enjoy.
You can spend time with your friends and meet new people to have good times with.
It gives you time to reflect on your choices.

I'm married and pretty much still have all of this. Not every relationship has to consume your life, man.