Navy ROTC short-essay

[Elohel]

Know bumping is against the rules, but I need feedback. Sorry!

I feel as though I am indebted to my country, and my heart tells me that the best way to serve is to one day become an officer in the United States Navy. The impression I have received from my teenage-peers is that many students do not appreciate what was gained through the blood and sweat of great men who served in the military, and I feel as though I would be doing my duty by serving as a Naval Officer. My great-grandfather was a sailor in World War II and doing this would make him proud, he made sacrifices that we reap today and if he were alive he would be absolutely enthralled to see my spark of interest in becoming a Naval Officer.


Becoming a Naval Officer would allow me to use my abilities to the max, an opportunity I may not get elsewhere. Currently, I live with my dad and we are low on the income-ladder. This makes going to a four-year university difficult, as I do not wish to take out student loans to pay off my years of school. If I were to receive a NROTC scholarship, I could not only use my leadership skills to boost the navy, I could take my education much further than expected and one day finish medical school and make my family and friends proud.



So, what do you think? Feel free to criticize and make suggestions, thanks!

[strangerdanger]

Talk more about what you can bring to the Navy and not what you'll get out of it. They want to hear that you are confident and that you want to join the Navy for you and not for anyone else (parents, etc..)

When you said "I could use my leadership skills to boost the Navy," explain how. Also, the higher ranked the officer you can get for your interview the better.

Source: I was awarded the NROTC scholarship myself and my father is currently a Commander is the USN.

[Blznsmri]

I got the Scholarship with worse...