S.O.S (there is that girl....)

[Knight Gil]

thx for the heads up,really appreciated,just wanted to add that I don't just like her..Feeling waaaay more things than I can express

Good then. Go on.

[Deleted]

Good then. Go on.

just a question.It is about her breaking up when she started talking to me.Think it was coincidental?

[Knight Gil]

just a question.It is about her breaking up when she started talking to me.Think it was coincidental?

What happened, exactly?

[Deleted]

just a question.It is about her breaking up when she started talking to me.Think it was coincidental?

Don't over-analyze. It's very, very hard to guess exactly why a person did or did not something. When it comes to women, this is much more complicated.

She could have broken up and needed some connection with someone to be able to speak and spend some time to fresh her mind, feel attractive again, etc.
Again, no point overthinking. It'll not give you any insight, but it may cause more insecurities and fears.

[Veliane]

her breaking up when she started talking to me.Think it was coincidental?

Depends if it is a teenager relationship, young adult or an adult one.
In the first case, it could be that she was just hanging onto him till something better came along.

In the second, the first rule applies but most commonly isn't over just talking to someone that lead to a crush, and they hang on to it more.

Third case, they're or were done with the old relation to begin with before anyone came along.

[Deleted]

What happened, exactly?

well,she had a relationship with a guy and she broke up at the point we got a bit closer to each other,like talking more both in and out of uni.Well,that's what ive made out.

---------- Post added 2012-02-12 at 03:37 PM ----------

Don't over-analyze. It's very, very hard to guess exactly why a person did or did not something. When it comes to women, this is much more complicated.

She could have broken up and needed some connection with someone to be able to speak and spend some time to fresh her mind, feel attractive again, etc.
Again, no point overthinking. It'll not give you any insight, but it may cause more insecurities and fears.

agree totally,just trying to give myself some positive feelings

[Knight Gil]

I agree with Sendai.

In the end, it doesn't matter. Just keep doing what you have to do.

[Deleted]

well,she had a relationship with a guy and she broke up at the point we got a bit closer to each other,like talking more both in and out of uni.Well,that's what ive made out.

Maybe she wanted a shoulder to cry on.

Anyway, if you want her, go get her. Or someone else will and you will curse yourself for not giving it a try. If she rejects you, well, it happens, it has happened to everyone and at least you won't spend the rest of your life thinking "what if...".

[aztr0]

Let her know how you feel. If you guys are really friends, it won't matter whether she accepts or denies you. If the friendship changes after the fact that you told her how you felt... they you will know how deep that friendship was in the first place.

[Sand Person]

simple steps that are hard to do;
1. let her know you have feelings and want something more. if shes coo with it then this is the only step you need. if not,
2. if she puts you in the friends zone, (sorry, i only think of you as a friend; i don't want to ruin our friendship; etc...), you need to break off your friendship. you can't be someone's friend if you're attracted to them.

if you're a nice guy whos always there for her then i got to show you this

[Deleted]

I have to disagree with what beefchorizo and aztr0 said. Coming out and expressing his feelings can be terribly uncomfortable and it's most likely going to fail.

He needs to go slowly because if she really appreciates the OP's company, some subtle physical contact and him showing his intentions may make her start feeling something deep. If he goes all "I like you a lot and I hope we can be together" there's a big, big chance that he'll scare her away.

Don't underestimate the power of a slow build up because it can wake up feelings, although for those feelings to be woken up, they must first exist.

About the friendzone, if you behave like a friend...expect to be friendzoned. It's as simple as that. If you act like a potential romantic interest, you either get into a relationship or you get rejected, more or less painfully. The problem with getting friendzoned is that you are becoming her friend just because you want a romantical interest. This may work in movies, girls will recommend you it...but I don't see is a thing you want to do. It just doesn't work.

[Sand Person]

slow build up can be devastating. if you don't act fast, someone else will. and she may never be single again. been there, done that. got the t-shirt. literally.

[Deleted]

slow build up can be devastating. if you don't act fast, someone else will. and she may never be single again. been there, done that. got the t-shirt. literally.

A slow build up takes weeks(or few months), not more. Date by date. Step by step.

[Sand Person]

A slow build up takes weeks(or few months), not more. Date by date. Step by step.

i repeat. people act fast. she's technically on the rebound but i've seen it happen before. my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. 1 week later, she started dating the guy who would become her husband. 9 years married and growing strong.

[Deleted]

i repeat. people act fast. she's technically on the rebound but i've seen it happen before. my sister broke up with her boyfriend of 3 years. 1 week later, she started dating the guy who would become her husband. 9 years married and growing strong.

Certainly the exception.

Again, if she jumps into some other guy, it clears all doubts...

[Sand Person]

Certainly the exception.

Again, if she jumps into some other guy, it clears all doubts...

i wouldn't take a chance on an "exception." do it or you may lose her and you'll spend the rest of your life with regret, always wondering "what if." i still do almost everyday. nothing is certain though.

---------- Post added 2012-02-12 at 08:59 AM ----------

if you do lose her at least you'll have closure. sucks but you'll know.

[Deleted]

i wouldn't take a chance on an "exception." do it or you may lose her and you'll spend the rest of your life with regret, always wondering "what if." i still do almost everyday. nothing is certain though.

---------- Post added 2012-02-12 at 08:59 AM ----------

if you do lose her at least you'll have closure. sucks but you'll know.

Regrets shouldn't last more than few days though.

He needs to bait her, not scare her away.

[Sand Person]

Regrets shouldn't last more than few days though.

He needs to bait her, not scare her away.

lol. she's a woman/girl, not a fish!

anyways, baiting is for losers(not in the insulting sense, but in the literal). scaring her away is not a certainty. not only that, i'd rather scare her away than be too scared to not act fast enough and lose her. be confident about your approach. most likely you won't scare her. in fact, that's how you "bait" her.

[Knight Gil]

Sendai and beefchorizo, every girl is different. Some will get scared if you go too fast, some will lose interest if you go too slow. The only way for the OP to know how fast it should go is by gut instinct. Personally, I prefer to take it slow. But each to his own.

[Deleted]

lol. she's a woman/girl, not a fish!

anyways, baiting is for losers(not in the insulting sense, but in the literal). scaring her away is not a certainty. not only that, i'd rather scare her away than be too scared to not act fast enough and lose her. be confident about your approach. most likely you won't scare her. in fact, that's how you "bait" her.

How is baiting for losers? I really want you to explain me this, considering that most relationships between adults start from baiting. Both sides are in a comfortable area, one side bait the other. If there's a reciprocous situation, both sides get to a closer area. If not, the baiter can just move on.

By the way, he can't lose her. He doesn't have her at all.

How often do relationships start from "I like you, wanna be my girlfriend?". This is not a stand-up comedy.