To me atleast my parents didnt much treat me as a human being, I was for them more like a tool that they can be proud of _themselves_ if their child accomplish something major. They never told me to do any home work like emptying dish machine or something similar they just didnt care. When I entered my first job I had immense difficulties to take orders from people. Also they always wanted me to have a job what "suits them best" like if I didnt go to university my mom told me that "if you dont go to university you are just a loser". Im 25 year old and I have a job, but still my mother calls me like one time / week and asks everything where I have been and what I have done. One of the weird moves she recently did was she called me about two days before her birthday and "reminded" me that "dont you remember that mum has birthday next week". I mean I think it's just crazy if I did call someone and reminded of my birthday. What do you mmo-champ people think is my mum weird or is it me who is weird coz I really get irritated from her behavior.
I have a narcissistic mother too and believe me when I say that it is not you who are acting immoral and with no empathy or are misunderstanding something, it is her/them. One of the narcissists' tools is to confuse the other and manipulate them. It is a way of being that is really bad to be around and hurts most others who are in a relationship with them of any important kind. She/they are who they are. Sometimes people are in a way that is really bad to be around.
I have written a couple of posts about this on another site related to psychology, and I recommend you to read those posts if you are interested. They are a bit long maybe, but should be decent to get through in some time.
It is sad thing, but she/they are really as you think and perceive. She is trying to manipulate you. One of a narcissist's tools is to manipulate, confuse, guilt, lie and deny and all kinds of those immoral, unsympathetic ways to try to get others to live in the delusion that the narcissist wants to live in. Trying to implement some false self or image that the narcissist think important.
It is not you who are crazy. It is really her who are who she is and is a narcissist. They can fuck you up a bit because they run the dual illusion of wanting your best but working mostly to implement their idealized self and image as much as they can.
I am kind of a sensitive guy with high empathy and my mother is a very low empathy narcissist with no clue of good parenting, so I took a few hits in my childhood in general.
Also, if you are more interested in reading about it, try go this website: http://www.willieverbegoodenough.com/ and click the link "Is this your Mom?". Manipulation and confusion is one the way the narcissist works. It is not you who are on the bad track of things.