gf advice D:

[jds433]

Maybe you treat her differently now that you "have her". Maybe you were once sweeter than you are now, and she wants the guy she used to know. But you are to worried about sex to notice that you have changed and she wants that.

[salamala]

And this is why sex before marriage is the stupidest choice anyone can make.

Wow, are you just kidding? you must be - I can't think of anything worse than marrying someone and then realizing a month down the road you don't like the sex or you are not as sexually attracted to your partner as you thought and have to end it.

[BLCalliente]

If you want to know 100% what is going on with her, listen to me and nobody else.


1) Link her this thread.
2) ???
3) Profit

[Nillah]

This is possibility #1.
Possibility #2 is that she's cheating on you.
Possibility #3 is that she's considering leaving you, but can't make up her mind. But, in this case, it's a matter of WHEN, not IF.

Pretty much, you lose no matter which option it is.

What they said, basically.

If you've talked to her about it and she refuses to tell you what the real problem is, I would just end it. If she does this once she'll probably do it again in the future if you stay with her. I've never been pregnant or cheated on anyone so I can't say how we act when we do those things, but it does seem like she's considering ending it but is too scared or doesn't know what to say.

She's bored with you. It happens. Or did you really think you will spend your life with someone you met when you were 18 ?!?

I know plenty of people myself that married their high school sweetheart and stayed together. It happens.

[Hyve]

Out of the blue wants to start using condoms? Probably cheating on you, and/or has an STI.

Or probably just wants her man to last longer? I always use a Condom, not because we want to avoid the risk of pregnancy, not because of STI's but because it means I can feel less overly stimulated.

Worth it for her ;D

[Deleted]

Looking at other men isn't an issue. I'm sure you look at other women, so why is it a problem if she likes a bit of eye candy?

Stop stressing to much, or you'll cause a reason to be worried. Relax, enjoy the relationship and entrust in her. She says she loves you, go with it. If it doesn't work out, move on and find another to love. Life will always carry on!

Best advice imo.

See where it goed. Does it work out? Then its oke. Does it fail. Then its also oke.

[Judge Malthred]

She probably has changed. You have probably changed. You will both definitely be changing more. She might be cheating on you. She might want to leave you. She might deprive you of sex and accuse you of only thinking about sex and demand that you use condoms now as passive-aggressive attempts to make you leave her so she doesn't have to deal with the guilt of leaving you.

You are 18, your idea of what love is will be changing and evolving for a while. Right now it sounds like the relationship has gone stale to her and she is looking for a way out guilt-free.

[Thunderbleem]

From going through the exact same situation when I was your age, from experience I'll say she's either cheating on you or considering it.

[openair]

i dont think so, we had 2 scares in the past and she told me about it right away and we both went and got the test for her. i really cant seem to figure out what it is, drastic change, so fast what i think is she might be losing interest in me but then why would she tell me she loves me and im the best bf ever all the time... so confused ):

How did you/she react to these scares? Is "scares" the right word? If so, was she scared or was it more yourself? Is it possible you misread her excitement and/or the source of her anxiety? Maybe she's worried about your reaction to these "scares" and what your reaction to something more then a "scare" would be. Maybe these "scares" were simply her testng you for the real thing...

[Korie]

Affraid of telling you she has a STD (condoms out of nowhere) and try to prove to her that you praise her more than the sex(You probably already do tho, but keep trying)

[Deleted]

And this is why sex before marriage is the stupidest choice anyone can make.

Not seeing how this makes any difference to anything? Same situation happens with married couples.

[Revolutions]

To all my naysayers and haters.

Sex complicates things.

[Odina]

To all my naysayers and haters.

Sex complicates things.

Having different :

Religions
friends
likes
sporting interests
hobbies
goals in life
school
etc

Complicates things.... Should we then choose no religion, have no friends, not choose a carer path, and have no hobbies before marriage as well? All of those things above end relationships far more often than SEX dose!

[Lenonis]

she told me she wanted to start using condoms even though we never did which surprised me honestly

As other people have pointed out this is a HUGE red flag, especially if she didn't have some sort of really rock solid reason (IE -- RECENT pregnancy scare).

If you've talked to her about it she must have said something. No indication at all what the matter is? Is she depressed or stressed in other areas of her life? Relationships don't exist in a vacuum unfortunately so sometimes external factors can be a big influence.

[Revolutions]

Having different :

Religions
friends
likes
sporting interests
hobbies
goals in life
school
etc

Complicates things.... Should we then choose no religion, have no friends, not choose a carer path, and have no hobbies before marriage as well? All of those things above end relationships far more often than SEX dose!

Love is a choice, not a feeling. Choosing to not love the other person ends a relationship 100% of the time.

[Lenonis]

To all my naysayers and haters.

Sex complicates things.

One could argue that if sex complicates things you should have it sooner rather than after you have already tied yourself together legally. Better to work through that complication and know you are ok rather than wait and have your marriage implode.

Some people swear by abstinence and it works for them. Some people don't and it works for them. Neither group will EVER convince each other that they are right because it's different for everyone. Best to just give it up and move on. You said your piece, and clearly the OP doesn't agree that is the path to take.

---------- Post added 2012-04-04 at 03:43 PM ----------

Love is a choice, not a feeling. Choosing to not love the other person ends a relationship 100% of the time.

Sex != love.

[Revolutions]

Sex != love.

Programmer of the year right here folks!

Define relevance.

[Lenonis]

Define relevance.

I'm not the one flip flopping between sex and love. You can have a man who has severe ED and can never have an erection still be in a loving relationship. You can have a man who has sex constantly but has never been in love. They are two completely separate things.

I don't think anyone will disagree that they are best when experienced together, but that's not really the topic at hand. Something has gone awry in the relationship with the OP and I'm willing to bet it has nothing to do with the sex or lack thereof.

[Drakesong]

Don't get me wrong, you are still young and imature in terms of relationships. People in this age still thinks that the passion will last forever (with passion comes sex), but it's natural (scientific speaking) that the passion ends between 1 or 2 years. Young couples face it like it's the end of the relationship, while more mature couples know this is normal and try to adapt to their "new" style of relationship and their natural impulses (to hook up with someone else).

The lack of sex is normal considering the passion is over as it seems, and her indifference is the reflexion of her imaturity. The condom thing problably means that her period got late and she was scared. The bottom line is that it seems that there is little communication between you two.

I don't think she's cheating on you, but there is a possibility, since she's not that attracted to you as before (which is normal), and she's imature and thinks she needs this to have a happy relationship.

Either way, there is no simple answer, you will have to live and learn with this relationship, either breaking up or keeping together.

[Revolutions]

I'm not the one flip flopping between sex and love. You can have a man who has severe ED and can never have an erection still be in a loving relationship. You can have a man who has sex constantly but has never been in love. They are two completely separate things.

I don't think anyone will disagree that they are best when experienced together, but that's not really the topic at hand. Something has gone awry in the relationship with the OP and I'm willing to bet it has nothing to do with the sex or lack thereof.

I never said sex is love or love is sex. Someone said something about hobbies ending relationships, when in reality its because someone chose to stop loving the other.