Another one of those you know what problems

[Deleted]

I went to this birthday party of a friend, he also invited 2 girls. So at the end of the night I asked the of one of the girls phone number (something which I would never see myself doing already).

Then 2 days later I called her, then asked if she wanted to go out sometime, she agreed and since she likes animals a lot I suggested the zoo.

So today I called her, but got her voice mail machine. Should I call again tomorrow? Can anybody give me tips? I am completely clueless, be my self? Show a lot of confidence etc?


EDIT: update on last post

[Deleted]

Did you leave her a message? Balls in her court now.

[Deleted]

Did you leave her a message? Balls in her court now.

Ehm nope. Just thought I would call back tomorrow and that's it.

[Synaxis]

Ehm nope. Just thought I would call back tomorrow and that's it.

If you call her and she doesn't answer, leave a message.

[Deleted]

Ehm nope. Just thought I would call back tomorrow and that's it.

Come back when said date is over..if it is a nice story I might have the balls to ask a girl out myself. D:

[Deleted]

Leave a message.

Well, for now I plan to call her tomorrow again. But if it happens again, sure I'll leave a message.

---------- Post added 2012-04-10 at 08:09 PM ----------

Come back when said date is over..if it is a nice story I might have the balls to ask a girl out myself. D:

Yes but 10 beers and a shot helps take off the edge. ; D (oops, that was asking for her number)

[KCguy]

Ehm nope. Just thought I would call back tomorrow and that's it.

No need to complicate things or over think things. Call again and leave a message. It's not hard. She'll call you back or get back to you then.

[kichigaijin]

Always be yourself! Never try and be someone you're not just to impress someone else. And yes, call her back and leave a message if you get the machine again.

[Deleted]

I am afraid that might seem desperate(leaving a message). Maybe I am overthinking....

[Lenonis]

I am afraid that might seem desperate(leaving a message). Maybe I am overthinking....

You are overthinking. Calling without leaving a message when you just met someone looks a little creepy. Calling and leaving a message that is short and sweet (like -- "Hey, just calling to say hi and see about firming up plans for the zoo. Call me back when you have a chance. Have a great day.") is WAY better.

That being said, once you call and leave a message you gotta give her space to respond. Don't start calling her every day if she doesn't return the call.

And be careful about the zoo -- some animal lovers hate the zoo because they hate seeing the animals in cages. Depends which animal lover type she is.

PS -- everyone has caller ID now. She knows you called. Leaving a message is just polite, not desperate.

[Synaxis]

I am afraid that might seem desperate(leaving a message). Maybe I am overthinking....

You are. I'd rather a guy called and left me a message if I couldn't answer the phone at that moment than just called once and gave it up until tomorrow, personally. It's not desperate to let her know you called and would love to hear back from her. You are going on a date with her, are you not? Follow up.

[Deleted]

You are. I'd rather a guy called and left me a message if I couldn't answer the phone at that moment than just called once and gave it up until tomorrow, personally. It's not desperate to let her know you called and would love to hear back from her. You are going on a date with her, are you not? Follow up.

Well okay I will see....

[slime]

You ween't kidding dude, this is definitly THEEEE QUESTION. for ages this was theee question. and sadly there is no answer. Most will tell you no more calls - you left a message that's it, balls in her court, another call and you sound needy and desperate. Others will say sure call her back tomorrow - it shows your interest in her and she sees you are for real.... you know they like to be chased after.
My opinion is definitly the first don't call her back again - BUT i think it ends up being chosen by the kind of girl she is. If she seemed really cool and down to earth - she might like more calls from you to show you actually care. If she seemed snobby or bitchy or im so good looking my shit don't stink type of cunt then you should leave it all up to her - you made a call end it there.

[sugarlily]

Aww. ^^

You are WAY overthinking this. If she hadn't wanted you to have her # she would have either made an excuse (given you a fake one etc) or just said "thanks, I'm flattered but...I have a bf/not interested in relationship atm etc"

Leave a damn message! B/c in your mind & the minds of ppl that do this exact same thing you guys call, get VM, hang up, do it again next day, days/weeks go by & 'damn that psycho bitch was leading me on blah blah' when if you had left a message she could have then gotten back in touch with you within hours or a few days.

Let me ask, if she had called you & gotten VM or answering machine, would you think she was desperate or similarly psychotic if she left a message? hmmm. Starting to wonder if you are desperate or painfully unsure of your self. That isn't usually very attractive. Neither is false bravado so yes, be yourself. ~.^

Just relax. Stop letting yourself get carried away & overthinking everything. You'll come off as kinda weird & flaky if you keep that crap up.
BE YOURSELF! It sounds so silly and old fashioned, but I promise you that its true and the BEST ADVICE EVER. :D

Think about it this way... you start acting like someone you're not & if you aren't acting like yourself, the people (girls and potential friends also) that are meant to fall for you won't be able to, because you're being somebody else atm! Imagine who you'll end up missing in life because you weren't being You!

I think you probably deep down basically know what to do & how to handle yourself but you're letting your doubts overshadow your wits. Toss 'em aside (the doubts of course!) & just be You. If things don't work out with this girl at least you've learned to trust yourself & listen to your gut instincts a bit better. And you'll have lost the fear of forging ahead with that giant leap & leaving a message ~.^

Anyway, I Wish You the Best of Luck!
Always remember this~ it is the list I live by ~ it'll help you too! <3
1.) Never date anyone you wouldn't have as a best friend.
2.) Tolerated behavior doesn't change.
3.) We teach people how to treat us.
4.) We get what we settle for.

[Deleted]

<snip>

Well okay, being myself however= being flaky and random. :P

Anyways, I have a lot more confidence in my self now than say 1 year ago, so I guess it will go fine. Sure I will relax....

[sugarlily]

Well okay, being myself however= being flaky and random. :P

Anyways, I have a lot more confidence in my self now than say 1 year ago, so I guess it will go fine. Sure I will relax....

flaky as described by Urban Dictionary, Vocabulary.com & Dictionary.com;

"An unreliable person. A procrastinator. A careless or lazy person. Dishonest and doesn't keep to their word. They'll tell you they're going to do one thing, and never do it. They'll tell you that they'll meet you somewhere, and show up an hour late or don't show up at all. Also spelled "flakey", or "flake" in the noun form."
-She told me she would send me her pictures, but it's been 3 months and she hasn't sent me shit. She's flaky as hell.-

Even when the definition is used as in 'eccentric', or 'oddball' it is NOT meant as a term of endearment or in an affectionate way; it's a slam & a put down.

And you want to broadcast & declare this piss poor trait in defining yourself? What, is this the excuse you use when you "forget" to follow through?
Not even remotely cute.

As for your reply regarding your confidence, well, it sounds about as uncertain, pathetic & doubtful as they come. It pays to learn how to make solid, purposeful decisions that you have thought out & are willing to stand by. You sound like you tip toe through your life & sway whatever way the wind blows.

"I guess so. Maybe. IDK. Sure... I guess I'll try..." blah blah gag

Maybe NOT calling her & having the balls to leave a message yet is a favor to her. Until you outgrow this wishy-washy approach to life, anyway.

As I said in my previous reply, & I gave you solid, thoughtful advice from a woman's POV, I still wish you the best~ <3

[Deleted]

flaky as described by Urban Dictionary, Vocabulary.com & Dictionary.com;

"An unreliable person. A procrastinator. A careless or lazy person. Dishonest and doesn't keep to their word. They'll tell you they're going to do one thing, and never do it. They'll tell you that they'll meet you somewhere, and show up an hour late or don't show up at all. Also spelled "flakey", or "flake" in the noun form."
-She told me she would send me her pictures, but it's been 3 months and she hasn't sent me shit. She's flaky as hell.-

Even when the definition is used as in 'eccentric', or 'oddball' it is NOT meant as a term of endearment or in an affectionate way; it's a slam & a put down.

And you want to broadcast & declare this piss poor trait in defining yourself? What, is this the excuse you use when you "forget" to follow through?
Not even remotely cute.

As for your reply regarding your confidence, well, it sounds about as uncertain, pathetic & doubtful as they come. It pays to learn how to make solid, purposeful decisions that you have thought out & are willing to stand by. You sound like you tip toe through your life & sway whatever way the wind blows.

"I guess so. Maybe. IDK. Sure... I guess I'll try..." blah blah gag

Maybe NOT calling her & having the balls to leave a message yet is a favor to her. Until you outgrow this wishy-washy approach to life, anyway.

As I said in my previous reply, & I gave you solid, thoughtful advice from a woman's POV, I still wish you the best~ <3

Wait what? I thought being flaky was just being inconsistent/unpredictable! I do always keep my promises, in fact I am the best in that area of everyone I know.

[freelapdance]

Stop thinking that she is a girl and do the same you would with a normal friend. Don't repeatedly call, she can see her missed calls. I like your honesty though, show that when you go on the date. If you are shy then ok, be honest that you are shy. Remember though there is a difference between shy and being a little bitch.

Word of advice, you should stop asking her things. By that I mean, don't say "can I have your number", say something like "you, know what, I like you, we are going on a date" then put your phone in her hands and tell her "put your number in my phone." As the man you should be "leading" at the moment you look like everything you are doing is seeking her approval "can I have your number", "would you like to go on a date", "what do you like" etc etc.

The zoo is an amazing place for a date though, so grats on that. You can talk about silly things like what it would be like to be a leader monkey or whatever. Remember to keep things fun and light hearted. In your mind you are alreadying thinking "oh Jesus I am going on a date with her", "will she like the zoo, will she like me, will she want to see me again". Stop thinking about stuff that might happen, be in the moment and speak your mind.

[Deleted]

<snip>

You know what? I was thinking about those exact things this morning. Thanks for confirming.

[freelapdance]

I am also going to guess that you are 14/15? Not that is a bad thing. Just remember that you are the most important person in your life, be honest and direct, cut the bullshit and you will be fine. For Gods sake do not read the Game and fall into the indirect trap. I also suggest you read Mode One by Alan Roger Currie. Let us know how it goes!