Elijah Alexandros - Bio - Feedback Please

[AKGaming]

((Being completely new to the roleplaying scene of WoW, I would love to get some feedback on a bio and backstory I put together for my new character. Please give your honest opinion and maybe some things I can add or take away to improve it. Thanks all.))

Name: Elijah Alexandros
Gender: Male
Age: 52
Race: Human
Region of Origin: Dalaran
Class: Arcanist

Likes/Dislikes: Elijah's favorite hobby is reading through different texts, and scripts of the past. He was your stereotypical bookworm. He doesn't hate much, though he has a strong hatred for the Legion's Scourge for their actions against his loved ones. Elijah also has a strong dislike of the teachings and practices of Warlocks. He feels as though they have corrupted the magical arts, and brought shame to such a noble practice.

Strengths/Weaknesses: Elijah hasn't always been natural at weaving the Arcane, but through many years of practice has become a quite skilled Arcanist. He attributes his success more to his studies rather than the actual practice of spellweaving. Disliking using his powers for destruction, Elijah's weakness would be fireweaving, he could never get a natural feeling for it, and felt it lended much to some of the darker arts of the Warlocks.

Languages: Elijah grew up speaking in both common and Thallasian while in Dalaran, but has also picked up Dwarven throughout his years of service with the Alliance. He currently seeks to learn Darnassian, but because of the withdrawn nature of the Night Elves, it has proven to be a truly tedious task.

Appearance

Elijah is your average height, 5'10." His skin is a light olive, and his hair is long and gray with age. His eyes are deep brown, marked with the wisdom of years. Elijah wears black and red robes, with a simple hood upon his head. He tends to carry nothing other than <NAME>, his choice staff, said to be passed down from generation to generation within the Alexandros family. It contains no powers on its own, but Elijah keeps it close as a reminder of his parents. It appears to be a simple black metal staff adorned by red gems.

Personality

Throughout his life, especially after the death of his parents, Elijah was very introverted and withdrawn, though very passionate and loyal. Being more inquisitive than aggressive than many magi, Elijah would rather spend the day engrossed in journals and texts of other powerful magi, than enage in spellweaving practices or magical duels.

While suffering the losses of family and friends during the second and third wars, Elijah has always been very compassionate to those in need, and would be found spending time with the orphans in Stormwind, hoping to lift their spirits during the dark times of war, as he too knew the pain of loss.

History

Elijah started his childhood in the wonderous city of Dalaran. He was born unto the Alexandros family, a noble mage family specializing in the Arcane arts. Elijah was not born with the magical prowess of the elves, but soon after some informal training from his parents was submitted for training by the magi of Dalaran at a young age.

Throughout Elijah's years of training he excelled greatly in every area, though always leaned toward his intellectual studies rather than combat training. He would periodically be caught studying through various texts while skipping his spellweaving courses, though that became less of a problem when he mastered his invisibility studies.

As the war heated up with the Orcs, Elijah continued his studies, but he longed to help the Alliance in the war. Though Elijah didn't enjoy using his magical abilities for destruction, he felt useless safe away in Dalaran while many other magi took the fight to the Orcish hordes to protect Azeroth on the front lines. At the age of 31 Elijah desired to fight in the battle to push through the Dark Portal into Draenor, but many of his fellow magi and tutors advised him not to, and to just continue his studies while the more experienced ones handled the tasks of war. Though Elijah decided not to head to war, his parents went to aid Khadgar's Expedition. Elijah bid his parents farewell that day, not knowing this would be the last time he saw them.

Thirteen years had passed since the death of his parents and the loss of the Alliance Expedition on Draenor. Elijah was now 44 years old, and finally respected as a wise mage in Dalaran, though still not anywhere near as wise and powerful as the Archmagi he admired. He wielded the arcane with great talent, though this is in no small debt to the many magi that tutored Elijah throughout the years in Dalaran. Elijah had been trained well throughout his years spent in Dalaran, and as a reward for his dedication to his studies, Elijah's tutor rewarded him [NAME], an old black staff adorned with red jewels said to be passed down from generation to generation within the Alexandros family dating back to a long since forgotten mage of the Alexandros bloodline.

"Your mother wanted you to have this Elijah, use it well."

"I will sir....I will.." Elijah said with a tear in his eye.

As months started to pass, rumors started to flow of a magical disease spreading throughout Lordaeron, though the magi of Dalaran suspected to be something more. The Legion's hand was suspected in this so called "disease." Soon later the Scourge was revealed. Not knowing much about this scourge of Lordaeron, the magi chose to take a passive role in the matter, hoping to gain more knowledge in the situation sending a few rogue magi to help the Alliance in their battles, though soon they would have no choice, but to face these monstrosities head on. They soon had the Scourge at the doorstep of Dalaran, along with the traitorous Prince Arthas, to claim a well guarded and revered magical artificat, hoping to perform a ritual of sorts. Archmage Antonidas would not have this, and he would defend Dalaran at any cost.

As the battle ensued with Arthas, the magi began to weaken even with the help of their magical barriers. Many of the magi were commanded to retreat from Dalaran including Elijah Alexandros. Elijah was furious! Why wasn't he on the front lines defending his home? How could he abandon those who trained him up all these years? How could he just turn tail and run? Reluctantly, out of submission and duty to the Archmagi of Dalaran, Elijah took a portal out, and would live to fight another day.

Soon after hearing of the deaths of his friends and mentors, Elijah became very depressed, though this only enhanced his focus and determination.

"I must learn more! I must be greater....for my people..." Elijah lamented.
"I will not fail the Alliance again...."

While aiding the Alliance in their struggle, Elijah came across many different scripts, journals, and teachings of magi of old, many were said to be of dark arts, but Elijah desired and lusted after more knowledge, and felt he could weed out any unneccesary thoughts. Soon Elijah became entranced and obsessed with artifacts, scripts, and journals that many magi looked down on him for dabelling in such things, though those who knew Elijah weren't worried as he had never desired power, but knowledge and wisdom.

As the years passed, the Alliance took the fight to the Scourge as well as other various enemies, and Elijah fought on the front lines for his people. Though still not reverencing the art of spellweaving, his immense knowledge of the Arcane aided his allies in defeating their enemies in both Outlands and Northrend, and eventually in their very own Azeroth. To this day, Elijah continues his studies of man old texts as an Arcanist of the now risen Dalaran hoping to one day become one of the esteemed Archmagi, while aiding the Alliance in anyway he can. He now possessed enough knowledge and wisdom of the Arcane to protect his people, and he would make it his goal to learn more.

[Nonfictionless]

Very nice Bio so far. I only really see one issue and that you have him as an Archmage. Not that he is one but you have limited some of the schools he uses/uses well. This title/class is reserved for those magi that have obtained a master over 5 different schools of magic. It's not so much about power as it is about knowledge and skill. Abjuration, Conjuration, Divination, Necromancy, Enchantment, Transmutation, Evocation, and Illusion. Now typically magi don't give into following religions and worshiping gods, because they believe power is to be taken and learned. Not given. So if Divination was one of the schools he mastered it would be very important to note. Since Necromancy is out because of his hatred, that leaves six. With his lack of skill with fire, mastering Evocation would have to have a special mention, at least in my opinion. While frost and arcane can be devastating on their own, fire is a major part of this school (as far as I can tell). There isn't much on this school and we really only have to go on is "in-game" envokers and they almost exclusively cast fire spells. So mastering this school would take a bit more skill while focusing on only two paths.

Essentially I think explaining a bit more about his skills would help more.

[AKGaming]

Very nice Bio so far. I only really see one issue and that you have him as an Archmage. Not that he is one but you have limited some of the schools he uses/uses well. This title/class is reserved for those magi that have obtained a master over 5 different schools of magic. It's not so much about power as it is about knowledge and skill. Abjuration, Conjuration, Divination, Necromancy, Enchantment, Transmutation, Evocation, and Illusion. Now typically magi don't give into following religions and worshiping gods, because they believe power is to be taken and learned. Not given. So if Divination was one of the schools he mastered it would be very important to note. Since Necromancy is out because of his hatred, that leaves six. With his lack of skill with fire, mastering Evocation would have to have a special mention, at least in my opinion. While frost and arcane can be devastating on their own, fire is a major part of this school (as far as I can tell). There isn't much on this school and we really only have to go on is "in-game" envokers and they almost exclusively cast fire spells. So mastering this school would take a bit more skill while focusing on only two paths.

Essentially I think explaining a bit more about his skills would help more.

Thanks for the feedback, I am taking all feedback from like 3 forums to edit it up a bit, never even thought about how the skills play into it all, I can definitely have some fun hashing that out.

---------- Post added 2012-04-16 at 05:15 PM ----------

Post revised, working on a second revision including explanation of abilties, skills, spells, etc

[Deleted]

Seems well done, you've obviously spent quite a bit of time on this.

[The Madgod]

I'm a bit late to the party but as far as this version is concerned, I have only one little critique...

As months started to pass, rumors started to flow of a magical disease spreading throughout Lordaeron, though the magi of Dalaran suspected to be something more. The Legion's hand was suspected in this so called "disease." Soon later the Scourge was revealed. Not knowing much about this scourge of Lordaeron, the magi chose to take a passive role in the matter, hoping to gain more knowledge in the situation sending a few rogue magi to help the Alliance in their battles, though soon they would have no choice, but to face these monstrosities head on. They soon had the Scourge at the doorstep of Dalaran, along with the traitorous Prince Arthas, to claim a well guarded and revered magical artificat, hoping to perform a ritual of sorts. Archmage Antonidas would not have this, and he would defend Dalaran at any cost.

You're taking the knowledge of Dalaran magi one step further than it was. Most thought it was just a disease, the magi of Dalaran thought that it was magical in nature. But really, this is a small nitpick in an otherwise excellent bio. Him and Morzath, my own mage would have probably gotten along very well. He could even have been taught by the master elf.

[Darced]

Just wanted to say I liked your Bio, I was pretty entertained. Perhaps the great arcanist would be so kind to teach my mage Darced a few things sometime. Lookin' forward to seeing Elijah's power in action, thanks for the story!