In the friend zone. Need some help.

[Torq]

How about, instead of dancing around the issue, you just straight-up ask her if she wants to go on a date with you.

None of this half-joking bullshit. Just ask man up and ask her out.

[Poppincaps]

How about, instead of dancing around the issue, you just straight-up ask her if she wants to go on a date with you.

None of this half-joking bullshit. Just ask man up and ask her out.

haha yeah I've come to the conclusion that I need to stop being such a pussy and just go for it... this isn't the first time I've been in this situation (though I do like this girl more than the others). I'd rather get rejected than constantly not knowing what could've come from it.

[Kalerender]

I'll give you the best advice you will recieve ever. I was a guy who was in your position a long time ago, and now is not socially akward anymore and has a girlfirend, so I kinda know how to handle this situation.

I don't know anything about you or her, but, in order to success, you must risk. Yes, ask her out, only her. You have to guild up courage to do that. Don't ask via facebook, msn, sms, simply CALL her and say that you know a cool place to hang out and ask her, to go out with you. Simple hum? A few things you must know beforehand:

1- Ask ONLY HER. Don't even say "go out with me and more friends".
2- Don't simply call her and ask "do you want to go out with me to XXXXX?" First build up a simple 5 - 10 minutes conversation and then, when the topics are pretty much over (basically when you both don't have anything interesting to say). Or, if you are more clever, talk for about 5 minutes, but in this conversation, find (or create) a link to ask her out.
3- And the most important: It MUST be a place that says "I wanna kiss you / date you", and something that she doesn't do very often and she likes. A VERY good example is to go to the theaters and watch a good comedy play. After you take her out for dinner in a good, but not too fancy restaurant.

Her reactions when you ask her out:
1- "Can I / I will bring my friends" - If she says this you are already losing. If you accept, you will be friendzoned. It's better to say "I was thinking about going out with you only", this way she will know directly your intentions, but hey, it's better than become friendzoned.
2- "Sorry, I can't go because (very obviously stupid reason)" - She knows your intentions and she doesn't want anything with you. Of course, if she says something very reasonable to not go (already has plans, etc), you simply say "ok, maybe another time", or something related. Either way, simply say "Ok, so, I gtg". It's important to remember DON'T BEG, EVER. dON'T INSIST TOO MUCH, EVER!!!!

She must know your intentions before hand, this is great, but you can't be too obvious. A comedy play is VERY good, because she will laught and be entertained all time, and in the end, subconsciously, you will get all the credit.

This is pretty much spot on in the approach. Make your intentions clear without being super upfront, provide a safe exit avenue for you both if things go down badly, and don't beg/or hang around being all needy on the phone if she says yes.

[Knight Gil]

Friendzone is a myth. An eufemism for "she's not that into you".

All those lists of signals that supposedly indicate that girls like you or playing games in hope you get her attention are nothing but bullshit. There's only one way to go: Stop messing around and do something if you'd like to end up with her. What should you do? That's absolutely up to you. No one here knows you or her, so no one can say what would work. Follow your instincts.

[Edison]

Friendzone is a myth. An eufemism for "she's not that into you".

All those lists of signals that supposedly indicate that girls like you or playing games in hope you get her attention are nothing but bullshit. There's only one way to go: Stop messing around and do something if you'd like to end up with her. What should you do? That's absolutely up to you. No one here knows you or her, so no one can say what would work. Follow your instincts.

Friendzone aint a myth, been in it loads of times. If you're to nice or spend to much time with a girl she will eventually loose interest for a "Boyfriend" relationship and see you more as a friend

[Knight Gil]

Friendzone aint a myth, been in it loads of times. If you're to nice or spend to much time with a girl she will eventually loose interest for a "Boyfriend" relationship and see you more as a friend

It is a myth. It's a lie guys tell to themselves to make them feel better after being rejected, by pretending girls have some kind of extraterrestial psychology that makes them lose interest in a guy over such ridiculous reasons, instead of facing that they aren't just attracted to you, for some reason you don't know and they wouldn't tell you. Saying that being nice or spending time with someone is a turn off is beyond ridiculous

[Edison]

It is a myth. It's a lie guys tell to themselves to make them feel better after being rejected, by pretending girls have some kind of extraterrestial psychology that makes them lose interest in a guy over such ridiculous reasons, instead of facing that they aren't just attracted to you, for some reason you don't know and they wouldn't tell you. Saying that being nice or spending time with someone is a turn off is beyond ridiculous

Been fooling around with alot of girls who has shown alot of interest but i havent made my move quick enough and been to much of a friend to them so they start seeing me as nothing more than a friend. Your entitled to your opinion tho

[Poppincaps]

It is a myth. It's a lie guys tell to themselves to make them feel better after being rejected, by pretending girls have some kind of extraterrestial psychology that makes them lose interest in a guy over such ridiculous reasons, instead of facing that they aren't just attracted to you, for some reason you don't know and they wouldn't tell you. Saying that being nice or spending time with someone is a turn off is beyond ridiculous

I suppose I shouldn't be one to talk since I'm on a video game forum asking for advice on girls, but girls want an assertive man. If you don't make a move and ask a girl she will either think that you don't like her and then will consider you just a friend in order for her not to get hurt, OR she will see that you aren't confident enough to ask her out which will make her less attracted to you, because women love confident men. Now, maybe she really isn't physically attracted to me... only time will tell, and maybe the friend zone doesn't apply to my situation, but to say there is no friend zone is kinda absurd.

[Slummish]

kiss her... see what happens

[Knight Gil]

Been fooling around with alot of girls who has shown alot of interest but i havent made my move quick enough and been to much of a friend to them so they start seeing me as nothing more than a friend. Your entitled to your opinion tho

This is why I say that the existence of the "friendzone" is bullshit. Guys prefer to blame themselves on doing something wrong rather than admitting that the girl just wasn't interested in them, because it's pretty hard to swallow the pride and admitting that they.just.weren't.attracted.to.them. Therefore, guys make up all the kind of silly reasons to convince themselves that they just made this oh-so-small mistake and because girls are sooooooooo confuse and demand sooooooo much from a guy, they gave up on the guy instantly after he made that mistake. Which is nothing but a load of crap for guys to make themselves feel better, by blaming it on female psychology and silly pseudo-mistakes that have nothing to do with the real reason the girl wasn't interested in them. On the other hand, most of the time when girls say that the guy looks just a friend to them, the reason is actually other. Sometimes it's a shallow reason, other times it's something more serious. Long story short, they don't find you physically, intelectually, emotionally, whatever, attractive to them, or they are already interested in someone else. They will say that the guy is "just a friend" because they don't want to hurt your feelings by saying what the real reason is. Guess what, I personally know girls who find it a turn off when guys move too fast or when the guy in question isn't a friend to them in the first place. Mindblowing, isn't it?

I suppose I shouldn't be one to talk since I'm on a video game forum asking for advice on girls, but girls want an assertive man. If you don't make a move and ask a girl she will either think that you don't like her and then will consider you just a friend in order for her not to get hurt, OR she will see that you aren't confident enough to ask her out which will make her less attracted to you, because women love confident men. Now, maybe she really isn't physically attracted to me... only time will tell, and maybe the friend zone doesn't apply to my situation, but to say there is no friend zone is kinda absurd.

You can convince yourself of that as much as you want, if it makes you feel better. All I wanted to say is: There is no magical formula on how to get a girl or on how to leave the mythical "friend zone". You can assure yourself that all the steps you are making are correct, having a deathly-fear for any little thing that might go wrong, overthinking every little meaningless detail or getting depressed when you don't fit into the typical alpha male formula, OR you can say "screw it" and be yourself instead of a silly stereotype of the supposedly perfect male formula, and realize that no, a girl will not give up on you for the sole reason of wearing a yellow t-shirt instead of a blue one, or for answering "yes" or "no" to a question about motocycles or dinosaurs a couple of seconds too soon or too late. A girl either likes you or she doesn't. If she doesn't, it doesn't mean you did anything wrong. It mean she doesn't like you, and it means that, probably, she wasn't the right person for you in the first place. So stop overthinking like you're doing and stressing yourself out, it will only make things worse. Acting naturally is all there is to say to it.

[GennGreymane]

move on

that is all

im in semi zone.... neither of us know whats happening

[Joodoc]

Been fooling around with alot of girls who has shown alot of interest but i havent made my move quick enough and been to much of a friend to them so they start seeing me as nothing more than a friend. Your entitled to your opinion tho

Yeah but there is no "stuck there" you can always pull it back out of the friendzone, by showing you are interested in more than friends.

[Idrinkwhiterussians]

To the people saying that a man and a woman cannot be platonic friends are either quite young or quite narrow minded. As a matter of fact, a good friend of mine (who I have never been interested in as that, and I know she hasn't either) and I have been friends for about 13 years. We do talk about relationship problems and stuff like that, and yeah, no jealousy on either side. Grow up.

To the OP: The girl seems to like you. You obviously like her. Go for it. The only thing you have to lose is NOTHING. Be confident about it. Just have some swagger and she will be all about giving it a chance.

[Deleted]

Just man up and go for it. Beating around the bush is going to get you nowhere, trust me. I made that mistake and missed my opportunity with someone a year ago and I still deeply regret it to this day.

[Nillah]

so you can go with the advice above or....

just say "Hey next time we hang out would you like to make it an actual date?"
Right there, you'll get an answer. No games, no round-about "am I friend zoned or aren't I".

If the girl is worth having around, then that will be enough. Any girl looking to play games will only mess with your head, both in the short and long term.

Do this. Do not beat around the bush, just be confident and straightforward. We like that.

[Xl House lX]

Yolo yolo yolo

[Echohunter]

Yolo yolo yolo

Oh god, not that shit..


Just be straight with her. Not overbearing or forward, just honest and clear.

[DeltrusDisc]

Take your chance now before she moves on. Girls will not wait forever.

[Markluzz]

I think enough people have said it for you to get the picture, just be upfront and ask, trust me it won't ruin the friendship and if it does she is a bad friend. It MIGHT make it awkward for a little bit but that's it, I have been rejected by girls and we were still good friends afterwards.

You have nothing to lose that isn't worth losing.

Oh and please tell us what happens, i'm slightly interested in seeing how it turns out for you, good luck