Go for her or not?

[Spikier]

Hey everyone who is gonna read this this. I first wanna apologise because I'm fairly tipsy at the moment, so if any typing errors appear, plays bear in mind.

I've had a relationship for 2 years, but I've been in love with a girl for about a year (yes, even during the relationship, I just didn't want to realise it.)
I've known her for about 7 years know (I am 21 years old), and just when I got out of my relationship, she just got into one. I know she likes me, and I know for sure that I like her. Now I'm not that kinda guy that breaks up relationships just for his own good, but I am wondering, what the hell do you people think I should do at this very moment? I don't wanna mess up her relationship, but I do wanna tell her that I like her, eventhough we've been friends for the last 5 years (no, trust me, I've not been friendzoned).

Any advice would be appreciated.

Sorry again, for the spelling.

[Soisoisoi]

1. Sober up, then come back, if you still feel the same then;

You're willing to cheat on or break up with the person you're currently with... Break it off now with your current GF, for her sake. Tell the person you like, and if she doesn't like you then at least you know you're not being a prick to the person you're currently with, being with her though you'd rather be with someone else.

[Spikier]

Okay probably didn't explain it right enough. Atm, I'm not in a relationship. I broke up about 4 months ago. Just when I got out, she got into a relationship.

[alturic]

Okay probably didn't explain it right enough. Atm, I'm not in a relationship. I broke up about 4 months ago. Just when I got out, she got into a relationship.

So then the question is, do you tell her you like her and she felt the same way all along or tell her and she never talks to you again.

[Soisoisoi]

If you are sure she likes you in the "more than a friend" way, then you don't really have much to lose by trying. It's hard being friends with someone when at least one person likes the other like that. It will either end up being good or bad. Better to find out sooner than later, or never finding out at all, imo.

I would still suggest sobering up.

[Underverse]

If you like her, go for it. you won't be "ruining" her relationship if her relationship with you is better...

[Spikier]

Yeah normally I really don't have a problem talking to girls when I'm sober. So it's not the 'sober' problem, even though I really should at the moment.
This is just one of this girls I just never had the guts to ask out for a date, or whatever while I asked alot of girls out for drinks ( and actually got a date with them).

[chazus]

I'm fairly tipsy at the moment

trust me, I've not been friendzoned

One of these may be false.

[Deleted]

Don't do it man, respect that relationship.

1. You will always distrust her with other men, because well to be fair she couldn't respect the boundaries of the relationship she is in now. What is going to stop another dude to pull the same trick on you? So you will always have the broken relationship as a reference how much you can trust her (NOT).
2. She can end up happy as hell in this relationship, and if you overthink things just a little too much, you will always wonder, would she have been happier with that dude?

Just be present in her life, do some fun and teasing. But do not actively pursue things where you know if the fellow would be reading along he would have the full right to punch you in the face. Teasing and flirting is allowed, but respect boundaries. Remember forbidden fruit is always the sweetest! (Trust me, girls who are in a relationship who'd rather not be there will be driven mad by hormones if you play it like this).

[koodledrum]

don't be the douche who pisses on another guys campfire! (crude analogy I know, but there's really no other way to put it that gets across the immense nature of how much of an arse it would actually make you) If it's meant to happen it will happen, just don't go trying to win her over otherwise it could just end horribly messy and that's much worse for you than letting the relationship run it's natural course.

[slime]

As someone who always took the - don't break up their good thing just because it would make me happier, I will tell you now - do it! Or you are setting yourself up for a life full of regrets and missed oppurtunities. It's an asshole way to be, but it is also the key factor in every self made successful person's life, they always acted on their desires adn wants - AND NEVER worried about whose get crushed.

[Conkersman]

First off, you don't mess with another guys girl....it's a good way to have something unfortunate happen to either you or her. Second, 21 is a bit young for love, go do stupid stuff without being tied down

[aztr0]

You're a nicer person than the other guy that pulled the move on my ex. Anyways, you're in a bit of a mess. On one hand you don't want to mess up what she has going, on the other, if you did mess with her relationship and somehow got her, how do you know she won't do the same to you, that she did with her current bf at a later in time? If she is meant to be, she'll fall to you, no need for you to be the bad guy and go and destroy relationships.

[raechuul]

Wait for things to take their natural course.
My boyfriend liked me even before I started going out with my ex. I never really knew. When the ex split, my boyfriend took the opportunity to be there for me and confess his feelings. It took a month or two of just being friends out of respect for my ex (and I was scared of getting hurt again), but then we started dating. We've been together for three years now and have lived together for almost two. If it's meant to be, you guys will work out.

Also, you don't want to put extra stress on her. Don't try to make her choose, she'll probably just end up feeling guilty and getting freaked out. You could be the best boyfriend in the world, but only hindsight is 20/20, and things could be puppy dogs and butterflies with her current guy.