Sexism hurts men too.

[c1nn4m0n]

I do think women have it tougher, but understand that men can have it pretty tough too. The thing is, a lot of problems can be solved on either side with similar efforts - so why do some people see it as "us" vs "them", when we'd all be better off working together?

[Puck]

When the author of the article says she wants men to join the feminist movement, there is obviously an agenda here.


5. I dont know anyone that could be perceived as being gay but then again, none of my friends get manicures or pedicures, spend more time getting ready than a woman, and dont go to a salon to get a hair cut.

Because all gay people go to a salon and get pedicures. I don't, my boyfriend doesn't.

But besides that, the bulk of your post frightens me

when you get older you realize crying doesn't fucking matter. i had to put my dog down last month, i cried a ton. my dad, who always yelled at me anytime i cried past the age of like 10 shed some tears. was the only time i ever saw him do that.

Crying is a very good thing. I honestly don't know why men are discouraged from doing it. Crying doesn't make you weak, but I could certainly argue that pretending to be a emotionless rock in order to prove that you're manly does.

Being a man is not about being tough, it's about showing leadership, compassion and mercy. Emotions are a huge part of that. It's a shame that so many "Men" disregard this.

[Yogurthewise]

Because all gay people go to a salon and get pedicures. I don't, my boyfriend doesn't.

But besides that, the bulk of your post frightens me

Sorry for the stereotype but hey, that's our society.

[Woebegone]

I'm 28 and crying is still a thing men do not do. There are a few exceptions:

1) Parent(s) or other close family/friends die

2) Your team wins the Super Bowl (I don't fucking get this one but I don't get any of it so I go with it)

3) A pet dies

In any given year there are maybe... 1-2 instances where it would be socially acceptable for a man to cry.

I wouldn't be so sure about 1) and 3). Now I'm not an american so superbowl doesn't mean a thing to me either, but I can shed a tear if my country wins the hockey world championships, so I can understand that one.

[Chirri]

Sexism has also got Americans (at least) believing that all men are sexual predators, not to be trusted with women or children or even other men.

It's a hard time for everyone, but men aren't in the spotlight despite being half of the equation; keep in mind it hasn't even been a century since American women have started to have much impact on our society - honestly, we're still trying to work out which issues deserve real attention and which issues are just pointless noise. Still, this is a good time to speak up and work things out - both sexes have a voice now, and both voices are making headway in both directions. It's frustrating, but it's worth while. It's hard wanting to live up to unreasonable expectations, especially when you didn't realize they were unreasonable for so very long (it was just taken for granted).

Good luck to us all.

[fuzzygek]

The age old "Double Standard"

[Reg]

Because all gay people go to a salon and get pedicures. I don't, my boyfriend doesn't.

But besides that, the bulk of your post frightens me

Hell, I am straight and I've gotten pedicures.


On Topic though, people really need to get over whatever petty shit they have going on and treat everyone with some common decency.

[Laize]

I do think women have it tougher, but understand that men can have it pretty tough too. The thing is, a lot of problems can be solved on either side with similar efforts - so why do some people see it as "us" vs "them", when we'd all be better off working together?

I don't think women have it tougher anymore.

I really believe the "real man" paradigm breeds seriously emotionally unhealthy people.

I honestly hate what society expects of me since I do feel emotions quite strongly. I'm just not allowed to show it lest I get ridiculed by people like Yogurthewise.

The part that always has (and still does and will continue to do so until I am dead) is how we're expected to be both stoic yet vulnerable. Women, in many cases, literally expect us to be 2 different things. We need to be strong, independent and assertive in public... yet behind closed doors it's expected we be vulnerable and share our feelings. But not too much, of course, lest be be considered whining.

Here's a secret I realized. Women oftentimes wonder what the men in their lives are feeling. The truth is that in MANY cases we're so well conditioned from birth to hide our emotions that even we don't know what we're feeling when there's more than one emotion involved. And the fact that we can't talk to our guy friends about it and women don't wanna hear it from a guy either doesn't help. For me that confusion and frustration almost invariably manifests as anger. I seriously doubt I'm alone in that, too. I recognize it's not healthy but there's not a whole lot I can do besides "man up".

[bals]

Says the guy with the my little pony/rainbow avatar. I mean, really?

says the guy who joined april 2011

means exactly the same.

you'll learn when you can grow pubes.
crying is fine in certain circumstances.

Mod Warning: Just ignore & report please.

[endersblade]

That one is really specific to the United States, because a LARGE percentage of our population is still highly homophobic.

However, as a straight male I am sometimes perceived as being gay, but I find that it doesn't bother me in the slightest.
I have no interest in adhering to the ridiculously outdated ideology of men as emotionless and single-minded.

But yes, sexism can hurt men too. It's just in strange, somewhat subtle, and very confusing ways. Specifically, it tends to create a lot of internal psychological tension. And, in extreme cases, can result in physical violence (anti-gay violence in the US, for example)

Yeah...I live in the US, and I honestly do not care if people perceive me as being gay. I'm completely straight, but I have nothing against gay/bisexual men or women. What they do in bed has nothing to do with me. I've had guys hit on me before, and instead of being horrified, I was actually kind of flattered. I know how picky gay men are, and for one of them to hit on me...wow. Made me feel good for the rest of the day lol.

Also, many women I know take gay men as a challenge. "Can I make him go straight?" So if anything, a girl thinking you're gay could work in your favor :-P

Also, I cry all the damned time. Ok, not ALL the time. But when appropriate. There are many movies (I.E UP) that move me to tears. I don't care if it's not manly. I also don't like cars or sports, so I'm pretty fucked, eh?

[bals]

I wouldn't be so sure about 1) and 3). Now I'm not an american so superbowl doesn't mean a thing to me either, but I can shed a tear if my country wins the hockey world championships, so I can understand that one.

2 is only acceptable for guys who overcompensate for their hobbies

I'm 28 and crying is still a thing men do not do. There are a few exceptions:

1) Parent(s) or other close family/friends die

2) Your team wins the Super Bowl (I don't fucking get this one but I don't get any of it so I go with it)

3) A pet dies

In any given year there are maybe... 1-2 instances where it would be socially acceptable for a man to cry.

Any time else you need to cry you lock yourself in your apartment and make sure no one can hear you. Also make sure you've got a good 1-2 hours before you have to be anywhere so there's no evidence of what transpired.

I don't agree with it because it seems to me that the "real man" paradigm seems to be specifically designed to breed emotionally unstable human beings.

hey good thing i gave an example of 3 dipshit

on this:

Any time else you need to cry you lock yourself in your apartment and make sure no one can hear you. Also make sure you've got a good 1-2 hours before you have to be anywhere so there's no evidence of what transpired.

i think you should give a good read on the illiad. men not crying is a fairly recent thing.

Infracted

[Yogurthewise]

I don't think women have it tougher anymore.

I really believe the "real man" paradigm breeds seriously emotionally unhealthy people.

I honestly hate what society expects of me since I do feel emotions quite strongly. I'm just not allowed to show it lest I get ridiculed by people like Yogurthewise.

The part that always has (and still does and will continue to do so until I am dead) is how we're expected to be both stoic yet vulnerable. Women, in many cases, literally expect us to be 2 different things. We need to be strong, independent and assertive in public... yet behind closed doors it's expected we be vulnerable and share our feelings. But not too much, of course, lest be be considered whining.

Here's a secret I realized. Women oftentimes wonder what the men in their lives are feeling. The truth is that in MANY cases we're so well conditioned from birth to hide our emotions that even we don't know what we're feeling when there's more than one emotion involved. And the fact that we can't talk to our guy friends about it and women don't wanna hear it from a guy either doesn't help. For me that confusion and frustration almost invariably manifests as anger. I seriously doubt I'm alone in that, too. I recognize it's not healthy but there's not a whole lot I can do besides "man up".

Only thing I mentioned was crying.

If you dont have a buddy to talk stuff over with over a beer or two that would suck. My friends (notice I say friends and not acquaintances) and I get together once a week all talk about all sorts of stuff, be it personal or not. Of course we arent breaking down and getting all emotional, but we talk things over.

---------- Post added 2012-06-16 at 06:09 AM ----------

says the guy who joined april 2011

means exactly the same.

you'll learn when you can grow pubes.
crying is fine in certain circumstances.

That dog better have saved your life, if not, unacceptable. Man up buddy, choking up sure, shed a tear- highly suspect.

[Luko]

2 is only acceptable for guys who overcompensate for their hobbies



hey good thing i gave an example of 3 dipshit

on this:

i think you should give a good read on the illiad. men not crying is a fairly recent thing.

I have no real interest in jumping into this topic... but this kinda struck me.

Clarify for me, please. The hell are you talking about? I don't think you read correctly here.

[bals]

O
That dog better have saved your life, if not, unacceptable. Man up buddy, choking up sure, shed a tear- highly suspect.

my dog was pretty much my only friend.

I have no real interest in jumping into this topic... but this kinda struck me.

Clarify for me, please. The hell are you talking about? I don't think you read correctly here.

which part?

[Yogurthewise]

my dog was pretty much my only friend.

Lol, you just got a get out of jail free card then.

[narwaana]

Ive been working in a outdoor store for 2 years now, and have obviously two Christmas working the there in my bagage.
I shit you not,but two days ago, a lady in her late 30's said "its a present, but since your a man i suppose you cant wrap it, so i better do it at home".
Both me and my coworker was like WTF!? And my coworker game her some snide comments about "i thought we were further with the gender roles in this country (se)" while i wrapped the gift perfectly.
Tbh, i consider the gender debat to have flipped over, "Feminists" no longer strive to get the same rights as men, they have accived that in most fields, now they want to have it better.

[Drihan]

How does sexism hurt women? The most common ones involve them taking a walk every now and then and not eat hamburgers every day, then there is the one that allows them to stay home and watch TV all day. Oh yeah, and then there's the part where she controls all your income, spends them on shoes and clothes, then order you to go to the supermarket because she needs the shampoo in the pink container, not the blue, and if you don't comply you're gonna live in PMS hell for weeks until you either give her more money to waste on clothes or drop dead. They say the ideal woman doesn't have a shred of fat on her in today's society, which we all know is bullcrap to infinity.
The only way a man gets a woman is by either being so good looking she feints when she sees you (fuck off George Clooney) or by being rich like no tomorrow. Otherwise she doesn't "fall for you", she settles. The women always settle, men always aspire to get involved with something above their grade, best part about being a guy I'd say.

[bals]

Lol, you just got a get out of jail free card then.

if you read any ancient roman/greek/etc.. myths/stories/whatever you would see that not crying is a fairly recent development for men.
hell gilgamesh was a huge bitch after enkidu died

[Callace]

We know the many ways sexism hurts women. But we don't talk as much about how sexism hurts men.

http://www.alternet.org/reproductive...of_men/?page=1

This article looks at five expectations that men have:

1. Fight, fight, fight!
2. Be a good husband/partner/lover -- but don't care too much what women think.
3. Be hot to trot. Always. With anybody.
4. Stiff upper lip.
5. Fear of being perceived as gay.

I think a good way to improve this situation is to break down gender stereotypes - for both men and women. What do you think?

Women have to give birth in order for our species to continue. Everything else is a moot point.

[Yogurthewise]

if you read any ancient roman/greek/etc.. myths/stories/whatever you would see that not crying is a fairly recent development for men.
hell gilgamesh was a huge bitch after enkidu died

If you see what I did there.