Thread: Childfree.

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  1. #201
    Quote Originally Posted by Arganis View Post
    Don't have kids in 5-6 years with that attitude, it shouldn't matter what sex your child is, and that right there is already a red flag. I understand some people like the idea of having a little girl/boy more but selfish preferences rly shouldn't be part of the decision. You're not adopting a dog.
    You are wrong. I do have preferences, and I want a girl over a boy. But that doesn't mean that if I got a boy I won't love and care for him as much. I am just having my fingers crossed. There is no red flag in what I said nor in my personality. I don't know what you are trying to accomplish there, but it makes no sense to me. Most people I know prefer boys because they are easier to rise. I have strong connection with girls, I grew up around my four elder sisters. Let me be with my choices, who are you to tell me I am right or wrong.

  2. #202
    Pandaren Monk vep's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Adappy View Post
    I'm sorry but people always giving this response to people saying "I don't want kids" irritates the hell out of me. Sure, she might not be 100% sure on what she wants for the rest of her life at 23, but unless you know her personally and have been around her for all her life and know all her hopes and dreams and what she wants... neither do you.

    I say this because I get that response EVERY SINGLE TIME I tell any member of my family/friends that I'm not the kind of person that wants kids.
    Well then, if you get the same response EVERY SINGLE TIME you can bet your ass it's true!
    Now, I don't want to come off as aggressive but seriously, who knows what exactly, at that age? You thought you knew how the world works when you were 15. How did that turn out for you?

    If you get the same response, it's gotta stand for something, doesn't it?

  3. #203
    Herald of the Titans Hargalaten's Avatar
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    If people don't want kids its really their choice and i couldnt care less!
    But yes i am happy not everyone doesent want to have kids, there wouldnt be much people in about a 100 years :P

    Im 23 years old myself
    I do want kids myself, infact im preggers! If i'll be a good parent? i hope so, and i'll defenitly try, being a good parent doesent come before having children anyway. but i've learned a lot from my parents and being alive. i've also learned from my parents what i won't be like

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  4. #204
    I don't want kids cause I don't have the patience for it, they're annoying, expensive, and I simply don't want to raise a child in this world.
    "No. I am Ganner. This threshold is mine. I claim it for my own. Bring on your thousands, one at a time or all in a rush. I don't give a damn. None shall pass."
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  5. #205
    Quote Originally Posted by Runeforged View Post
    It's your choice really. Personally, I'm an only child, it would be a shame to see my family name stop at me.
    No offense intended, but what exactly has your family name done to deserve a legacy? If the only important thing is "had kids" I'm sad to say, you'll never be remembered. I knew a guy in school that had to have kids to "carry on the name." He ended up having 4 kids, 2 boys, 2 girls. One of the boys killed himself, the other is in jail serving a life sentence, one of the girls is married and ditched the name, and the last one I have no clue about. Those 4 kids would possibly never have been born if he didn't decide that his name somehow meant something and had to be carried on. If the only reason you're having kids is to carry on your name, don't do it.

  6. #206
    Herald of the Titans Christan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguera View Post
    Apathetic? I care enough what other people think to open a thread for a discussion, but I will not let that rule my own life. Were have I slandered someone for their opinion? What hope have I crushed? What I asked in the OP was not to change my mind, or for affirmation in my beliefs, what I asked were other people's opinions and beliefs, so I can try and understand it better. I don't berate people. If you take me not changing my mind as berating, I think you need to develope a little thicker skin...

    I do not think I'll make a good parent, and I do not wish to be one. My tolerance for physical pain and distress is rather high, so that is no issue.

    I advocate adoption and keeping abortion legal. I/we (when I lived at home) have adopted 5 cats. So, in essence, you understand nothing.
    i never said slandered, and perhaps berated is to harsh of a word, you did however respond aggressively when i gave MY opinion, of which you opened a thread about
    also i did admit i had misconstrued your "not wanting children" a miscommunication there.

    just because my opinions do not coincide with yours(and many others it seems) does not invalidate them.
    @the apathetic / not caring part, you said that yourself. also anyones opinions who have varied from your own, you pretend don't matter at all, it seems that your mindset is "only my opinion matters" which is a part of the not caring / apathetic mindset. (complete indifference to others feelings, as evidenced to your replies here, and what you said to your parents, not caring about their opinions either, they raised you and you stomped on their hopes of having grandkids)

    @who's hopes have you crushed? telling your parents flat out NO, instead of perhaps giving them hope that when their daughter grows up they can have grandkids.
    also not caring about your parents feelings on the matter (you could approach the matter with them very differently)


    if you do not want to have children, then don't, don't want to adopt, then don't..

    what i have been saying isn't "go do this" it is...
    make your parents feel better by telling them "when it is the right time / find the right man / may eventually adopt"
    in the end you will do what you want... but please don't treat your parents that way.
    give them some hope.

    -edit-

    i'm just not sure if i am being clear enough or even getting through...

    even if in your own heart you decide to never deal with having/adopting children....
    don't tell your family that...trust me it hurts to know your genetic line is going to end with your only child, it is better to...
    give a little white lie to make them feel better...

    sigh... i hope you understand what i am trying to get across...
    Last edited by Christan; 2012-06-25 at 07:40 PM.
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  7. #207
    Herald of the Titans Arganis's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by KachynaEU View Post
    You are wrong. I do have preferences, and I want a girl over a boy. But that doesn't mean that if I got a boy I won't love and care for him as much. I am just having my fingers crossed. There is no red flag in what I said nor in my personality. I don't know what you are trying to accomplish there, but it makes no sense to me. Most people I know prefer boys because they are easier to rise. I have strong connection with girls, I grew up around my four elder sisters. Let me be with my choices, who are you to tell me I am right or wrong.
    If it doesn't matter in the end then you're fine. I never said you were right or wrong, I said you shouldn't go in already putting conditions that revolve around your personal preferences, that's all. You wrote no boys like if it was quintessential condition and that's why I wrote what I wrote. But in the end what I write doesn't matter, even if you wanted kids to have little slaves you can turn into mirror images of yourself through force and fear until the fun expires and you leave them penniless in the streets, I couldn't stop you so explaining yourself to me is meaningless, especially since I couldn't care less.

  8. #208
    Scarab Lord Maxilian's Avatar
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    Well in my opinion... is OK to not have kids... Not everybody wants a kid..., personally i can't have a kid (biological) and i don't think i will be able to adopt one..., and i don't really think a lot about that..., and IMO the only one that's wrong is the people that's putting presure on you... If you say no... is NO!, there's nothing to talk :P

    Note: I love kids... but well i won't die if i don't have one XD

  9. #209
    I've pictured myself having a kid, doing dad stuff. I wont lie, it feels pretty good. Then one of my little sisters throws a tantrum and I think to myself, "man... this is totally not worth it". It takes all my willpower to not hit a child when they act like annoying little shits, so what I do is I just leave my dad's house and go home to my nice peace and quiet, where I don't have to deal with little kid bullshit.

    I'm not saying I wont change my mind, but I never was much of a gambler, and having kids is a really big gamble. For the foreseeable future I think I'm going to have to go with childfree as well.

  10. #210
    Quote Originally Posted by Arganis View Post
    You wrote no boys like if it was quintessential condition and that's why I wrote what I wrote
    Assumptions.


    Indeed, I don't have to explain myself to you. But we are part of an open discussing and I have my standards so I felt would be nice of me. And once more, I don't want slaves, already had my littles cousins, nephews and nieces for that. I want my own children because that's something I value, I believe it is a great experience, and I want to teach them into this world, maybe they can be better than me, do better than me but I don't want them to be my legacy or whatever. I believe I can be a good parent, and that's what I am in for.

  11. #211
    Mechagnome galaxiah's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Rheckameohs View Post
    I've completely ignored every other post in this thread save the OP. Fuck the police.

    Anyway, I have a son, and in December my wife and I are expecting another. My children are the most important things to me, and are a near constant source of happiness. This in mind, it honestly boggles my mind that there are some people who don't want kids. I'm not saying that I think you're wrong or I'm a better person than you or what have you, but it literally confuses me. I guess I just can't imagine my life without my kids. Fatherhood is pretty rad.

    Also of note, I do have a theory on whether or not you'll be a shit tier parent: if you're only concerned about yourself (i.e., "How will they fit into my life," "How will they impact me financially," etc.), you're going to be a shitty parent and I will gladly pay for your abortion if you get knocked up or knock someone else up. On the other hand, if you're concerned with your kid's quality of life before he or she is even conceived (in essence, "Will I fuck up my kid's life?"), you're probably ready.

    And that's my two cents' worth.
    I agree with you and congrats on your new soon to be child. It's wonderful you love being a father, coming from a home where I never knew my father and have always had a negative view on them, it's nice to see one who says their children are their source of happiness.
    And you're right, a ton of people should never become parents, selfish people, uncaring people. But as someone who as of right now does not want kids because it's hard enough taking care of myself, I do not want to put a child in a life where they don't get everything they need and grow to be healthy. I constantly think if I ever do have kids what morals I would teach them and how I could shape their lives to be good people (that seems rewarding on it's own), especially after seeing terrible things some kids are taught, by terrible parents.
    But the will to shape a child's life who in return will bring me joy of being a parent and watching them grow is not strong enough to overcome the difficulties I am certain they will endure. With my uncertainty of being able to afford to take care of them, the possible fact that their father will ditch us and force them to grow up with an overworked mom. If I for 120% sure I cannot give another living being the care they deserve, then I will not undertake the responsibility, and this means I will never be ready. So to that degree I think you are wrong.

    But again congrats. I hope you and your wife have a healthy baby.
    Last edited by galaxiah; 2012-06-25 at 07:49 PM.

  12. #212
    Scarab Lord Maxilian's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Christan View Post

    what i have been saying isn't "go do this" it is...
    make your parents feel better by telling them "when it is the right time / find the right man / may eventually adopt"
    in the end you will do what you want... but please don't treat your parents that way.
    give them some hope.

    i'm just not sure if i am being clear enough or even getting through...

    even if in your own heart you decide to never deal with having/adopting children....
    don't tell your family that...trust me it hurts to know your genetic line is going to end with your only child, it is better to...
    give a little white lie to make them feel better...
    Well i know what you say, that for her parents it should be hard that their only child don't want to have a kid, and that they will never be able to be Grandparents, but i don't think she should give them a little white lie... Personally i prefer to CRUSH all their hopes of having grandchilds than give them a FALSE hope..., it will be much worse in the end with that False hope...

  13. #213
    Scarab Lord Nest's Avatar
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    I'm 21 and I don't want kids. Ever. It's just my own choice. I really like playing with kids and teaching them new things but I don't want any of my own.
    Gladly I found a girl that thinks the same way.
    Heyoo!

  14. #214
    I have two things in mind for this discussion.
    1) I wouldn't like to spend half of my life raising kids.
    2) However I tend to see more and more and MORE stupid kids around novadays and feel like at least I should have one and raise it to be normal. Becasue normal seems to become extinct and I think I could do this raising up better.
    But I don't even have a girlfriend at 24 and find it hard to get one whose mentality matches mine. I may stick with option 1 for now.
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  15. #215
    Herald of the Titans Christan's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by maxilian View Post
    Well i know what you say, that for her parents it should be hard that their only child don't want to have a kid, and that they will never be able to be Grandparents, but i don't think she should give them a little white lie... Personally i prefer to CRUSH all their hopes of having grandchilds than give them a FALSE hope..., it will be much worse in the end with that False hope...
    in the end, you will be at their services, writing out what to say in the obituary...
    they will have died knowing in their hearts that their will would be carried on.
    and will be watching them get lowered in the ground knowing you made them happy their entire lives.
    Still I cry, tears like pouring rain, Innocent is my lurid pain.

  16. #216
    The Insane DeltrusDisc's Avatar
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  17. #217
    Herald of the Titans rederoin's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by vep View Post
    Well then, if you get the same response EVERY SINGLE TIME you can bet your ass it's true!
    Now, I don't want to come off as aggressive but seriously, who knows what exactly, at that age? You thought you knew how the world works when you were 15. How did that turn out for you?

    If you get the same response, it's gotta stand for something, doesn't it?
    Just becease a lot of people say it, doesen't make it true.
    Did you know what most people said about blacks and gays 400 years ago(in europa)?

    ---------- Post added 2012-06-25 at 10:18 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Christan View Post
    @who's hopes have you crushed? telling your parents flat out NO, instead of perhaps giving them hope that when their daughter grows up they can have grandkids.
    also not caring about your parents feelings on the matter (you could approach the matter with them very differently)
    .
    giving people false hope is not a good idea either.

    ---------- Post added 2012-06-25 at 10:24 PM ----------

    Quote Originally Posted by Christan View Post
    in the end, you will be at their services, writing out what to say in the obituary...
    they will have died knowing in their hearts that their will would be carried on.
    and will be watching them get lowered in the ground knowing you made them happy their entire lives.
    Saying you will have kids will not make them happy, if they aren't already happy.

    Seriosly, what you're trying to say is just outright ridiculous. You shouldn't give people false hope like that.
    Why stop at that? why not just stop telling people the risks of a necessary operation? We don't want them to go in a operation thinking they will die? now do we?
    Last edited by rederoin; 2012-06-25 at 08:18 PM.

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  18. #218
    Quote Originally Posted by Lily Crowley View Post
    What I am getting pissed off at regularly and in this thread at the moment, are all the "you will change your mind!" morons. Shut the fuck up already? Not everyone wants kids. Not everyone likes kids, regardless of it being your own or someone else's kid, but that does not in any way mean they are 'immature' or 'not a proper adult'.

    And should someone change their mind, don't come with the whole "lol i told you so, welcome to being an adult finally!"

    Everyone just mind your own damn business and stop trying to push your life choices on other people. KTHX.
    I do not think that is what most people are trying to due. Being 35 and looking back I can see times where I have changed my mind about things that were set in stone. It happens as we have experienced. Some of us are just trying to say that we have seen it in ourselves and things definately changed when they were not supposed to. We are just trying to say don't do anything permanent about it, unless you are willing to live with the results later. Also have you ever thought about it in reverse? What about the other people who want children and never can. Make sure to look at things form both sides and keep a level and open mind. I know I forget that all to often and strive to do bettter, but can you understand why some people can get worked up over this topic?

    Also I keep seeing population issues being addressed as a reason though in the near future we may have a serious population decline problem. The average child per woman in the earlier part of the century was 4-5 children. As nations and population become more advanced the women start to make child bearing a non priority as they do not need children to help out any more and it becomes a second objective to job, travel and other assorted options. The average child per woman is down to 2.5. At 2.1 births per woman deaths will start to overtake births and most populace projection map this to happen in the next 30 to 40 years. Right now we are close to a platue with deaths versus births with births just eeking it out. Most of Europe is already in decline along with Japan and some other countries. America always high on birthrates is also pretty close to being in decline. The 3rd world countries as they are called are currently keeping the number up, but those should swing around soon with brith control and economic conditions changing for those nations.
    Last edited by Sauril; 2012-06-25 at 09:10 PM.

  19. #219
    Quote Originally Posted by KachynaEU View Post
    I do want to have kids. I guess 23, my own age, is to early to make any decisions on this field though. I believe that in 5-6 years both me and my partner will be ready for that and I want to have 1-2 girls, no boys.

    @ Original Post, I really don't understand the need for you to claim that you don't want to have kids. Especially at mmo-champion.com. Still, after I read your post I can tell you I like the way you think. I don't feel bad about what you say nor pity for you. In fact the only thing that saddens me, apart from ignorant posts, is that I wish more people had this attitude instead of giving children a hard time or even abandon them. Lots of children are given away, left to die, suffer domestic violence, etc.

    If you don't want to have kids, then don't, lol. You even say you won't change your mind, why the post then? I guess it's ridiculous.
    That wasn't the point with it, I was merely interested in other people's motivation for their own decision.
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  20. #220
    I think you're inventing drama where this is none. You don't want kids? Fine! Who cares? Don't have kids.

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