Thread: Childfree.

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  1. #21
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    I don't really want kids. I like some of the thoughts of having kids (teaching them stuff, making them smarter, all the cool stuff) but then my rational side kicks in and there are all the shitty years, the financial burden, and the lack of return on investment.

    Yeah, not really interested in having kids. I enjoy my freedom too much. Kids are a life ruiner. It's almost the same reason I don't have a girlfriend. For all the nice parts (talking to someone, cuddling on the couch, banging), are all the shitty parts (nagging, her friends/parents, loss of freedom, financial burden, potential breakup). I've seen so many of my friends lives ruined by divorce, and their world shattered when their "soul mate" cheats on them or breaks up. So screw that.

    I like having money and only spending it on myself. I like having my house and my expensive fast car. I like not having to live by someone else's schedule. If I want to sit and play a video game for 8 hours, then that's exactly what I'm going to do because I don't have to answer to a wife / GF / kids. If I want to pack up and go on a road trip, I can do that. If I want to do a 10 hour movie marathon and order pizza and drink Red Bull, then that's exactly what I'll do.
    Last edited by Porcell; 2012-06-25 at 01:13 PM.

  2. #22
    Dreadlord goneloco's Avatar
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    when i was ur age i felt pretty much the same as u, but now just a few years later im longing for a family.


  3. #23
    Quote Originally Posted by Deadvolcanoes View Post
    Considering the reasons you gave for not wanting to have kids, you seem like you would be a terrible parent anyway.

    I fully support your decision.
    Not sure if I should take that as a compliment or insult, but nevermind. This thread is not actually about me, but about other people's opinions and why. I don't need affirmations in my choice.

    Quote Originally Posted by goneloco View Post
    when i was ur age i felt pretty much the same as u, but now just a few years later im longing for a family.
    What changed your mind?

    Quote Originally Posted by Gourmandises View Post
    You can be a foster family for a couple of months and take in children who have fled their old house. You can then see if you're still not wanting to have kids. Either way, you're not forced to make kids.

    I know definatly I want kids... I would love to be a grandpa and spoil my grandchildren and give my children every little bit of love I have in me. But for god sake you're 23... why are you worrying about kids? I am 25 and just got together with this lovely girl... why should we already decide when to have kids? My dad was 35 when he got me...
    Not so much a decision as it it's just something I've never been the slightest bit interested in, nor given any thought whatsoever. What drives this discussion is what others think and why.
    Last edited by Jaguera; 2012-06-25 at 01:23 PM.
    Ty Rivellana for the sig!

  4. #24
    Mechagnome ryotte's Avatar
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    If you don't have kids, don't have them. There are plenty of people reproducing. You don't have to, and you shouldn't be made to feel guilty or different because of it. There are tons of people, married couples even, who just don't want kids. They're a lot of work and can be a really pain in the ass, so if you don't want them why would you go through all that?

    Honestly though 23 isn't "Biological clock" time...that's closer to the middle/end of your childbearing years, when you realize you're running out of time.

  5. #25
    Mechagnome Kagdar's Avatar
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    First : congratulation on sticking to your opinions. You don't want kids, nobody will force you to have any.

    But as some other have said, maybe you will change your mind or maybe not. But you don't know what will happen in your life.

    Personnaly i'm in some way like you, i'm not confortable with kids. I don't hate them, but i just don't really know what to do with them. They annoy me. But my sisters have kids now, i have 2 nephews and 1 niece. Ok 1 nephew i just can't, he annoys me, but my 2nd nephew is just great, he's calm and he just know what he wants. My niece is just adorable.

    I know i want kids, and having those 3 nephews/niece in my life as just confirmed me i want kids. I believe that having a blood relation with those kids have a lot to do with "liking" them more, so my own kids? i will just love them.

    But i'm in no rush. I'm 28 now, yes i waant kids, but i want a girlfriend even more. And i kinda want to take advantage of having a girlfriend without kids for a couple of years.
    Quote Originally Posted by JonLajoie
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  6. #26
    Dreadlord Tarx's Avatar
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    Kids are good for get the money when the father die.

  7. #27
    Its your choice but there is no need to make extra drama about it yourself. There are many people who don't want kids like you, so you are not special, just saying If others have a problem either put them in their place or ignore them...

  8. #28
    The Unstoppable Force RICH816's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tarx View Post
    Kids are good for get the money when the father die.
    Is that the best reason you can come up with? Charities would benefit from that money more than most grown up "kids".

  9. #29
    I'm 27 male, and have no desire to have kids. Maybe suddenly at 40 or so years I'll change my mind, but really doubt it.

    My goals for near future - working, physical and spiritual training, saving money so I could travel to places like Tibet, Nepal and some countries in South America.

    About supposed loneliness - sometimes I'm toying with an idea of joining some monastery when I'm 60+ years old.

    Quote Originally Posted by Alenarien View Post
    One day we will all die, and the closest we can get to eternity, is a legacy, and to me there are no greater legacies than one's children.
    Or you could gather enough power to continue existance without physical body. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rainbow_body
    Last edited by Against the Modern World; 2012-06-25 at 01:28 PM.

  10. #30
    im 30y.o. now, My life partner is 33. We are together 12 years now, and i grow really tired of stupid questions from family members of both sides "when will you have kid"? They are stunned and shocked when we say "never". We dont want kids. We are fine with cat ;p And as OP said- i dislike kids. And after years of telling to people all the reasons why i dont want to procreate i go simply by- cat is cheaper and will love me all the same . so if there is no difference why overpay :F ( i think i really pissed off some of them with this answer ).
    EDIT.
    Also people tend to step with heavy shoes on your life, they ask stupid questions ('when you will finally get married? marriage is important you know" - from divorced after 2 years of marriage friend, "when you will have kids? kids are joy of your life!" - from friend who have no time to even reaqd a paper cause of her 3 kids from hell and husband who is never home- she look like a human wreckage , honestly. "when you will grow up? computer games? seriously?" - dude. when you will grow up? drinking beer every evening and staring at sport whole week - seriously?)
    I started to answer rude - and i dont feel bad about it. After all - they were rude first inviding my lifestyle and trying to bend me to theirs.
    Last edited by Cayenne; 2012-06-25 at 01:24 PM.
    Im not completely useless. I can always serve as a bad example.

  11. #31
    Mechagnome ryotte's Avatar
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    Also, forgot to answer your other questions. I have a child. He was a surprise (I was on the pill and...whoa, baby, 99% effective you say?) but not a regret. I don't judge someone who doesn't want kids. Why should I judge, they're not hurting anything. Reproduction IS still required for survival of the species, but it's not required of each individual. We have enough people who want children or have them anyway that it can only help the species (economically, anyway) if the people who don't want kids simply don't reproduce.

  12. #32
    The Insane det's Avatar
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    I have kids but I also have friends who are happy without them. We made the choice for the kids and were sure it was the right thing to do at the time. But I don't judge anyone who decides against them.
    Originally Posted by Blizzard Entertainment
    One cause is a cognitive bias called projection bias. Essentially living inside your own head your entire life makes it exceedingly difficult to understand how others do not also live your same life, think your same thoughts, and hold your same beliefs. In many cases it's quite frustrating to try to empathize and understand why you yourself may not be the center of the universe, which generally results in one 'acting out' in various ways.
    So, in short: the internet.

  13. #33
    I am Murloc! Alenarien's Avatar
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    In one way I can see certain merits in not having kids; the freedom, the fact that our planet is heaving with overpopulation, and so on, but to be honest it's not a state of mind I could ever see myself being in. One day we will all die, and the closest we can get to eternity, is a legacy, and to me there are no greater legacies than one's children. That of course, and they can be a great source of fulfilment in life, even despite all the nights of interrupted sleep, nappy changing, crying etcetera

    I will admit that I do find it strange when people say they don't want kids, or rather I can't relate to it, but would probably find the individual in question quite strange nonetheless. In my own opinion it is a perfectly natural/expected desire in life, but then again living on the island of Ireland, it might just be that a certain institution has ingrained in our minds that we should have children over the ages.
    Last edited by Alenarien; 2012-06-25 at 01:23 PM.
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  14. #34
    23 is far too early to talk about a biological clock? That's usually reserved for women in their 30's - 40's when the risks start to increase, for example:

    1:2000 chance for a women in her 20's to have a Down's syndrome child (just an example of a genetic disorder), that drops to 1:30 for a women who's 45! There's also the increased risk of high blood pressure and diabetes and lots of other things.

    Are you confusing the age ranges where it's easier to get pregnant:

    19 to 26 years - ~50% chance of achieving a pregnancy in any one menstrual cycle
    27 to 34 years - ~40% chance of achieving a pregnancy in any one menstrual cycle
    35 to 39 years - less than 30% chance of achieving a pregnancy in any one menstrual cycle

    Either way you're a good few years away from having to worry about things like that, people change, you might in a few years decide it something you'd like, you might not, it's really whatever works for you
    "The fact that you don't get it or like it is fine. The fact that you wanna ruin it for everyone else - that's why you're a cocksucker." - Bill Hicks
    Quote Originally Posted by Darsithis View Post
    The playerbase has been desiring this for years and when it's finally here, everyone wants to grab a pitchfork. Ridiculous. This community is disgustingly toxic.

  15. #35
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    Perhaps when I'm older and found the right lady but that'll be some good years yet.

  16. #36
    Quote Originally Posted by Bwutty View Post
    There are many flaws in your post and generally in your way of thinking but I'll talk about just one:

    "I will not change my mind."

    Wrong. 100% wrong. Just because you are currently (probably - assuming here) anti-social or dislike "serious" relationship or guys in general doesn't mean tomorrow won't be the day you meet a guy that will make your tummy tremble, your brain freeze and your heart pound. Yes, there's a chance you won't meet him soon but with the passing years your values WILL change.

    People want to be free, bound by nothing, able to do whatever they want.. But that time passes. You'll get too full of "the experience" of being on your own.. It's in human nature to make relationships and seek a partner.. Just because you don't want one now doesn't mean tomorrow you won't wake up with a whole different set of views.

    From what I know, while they are a lot of work, require effort and devotion and may cause negative feelings, if you ever have the privilege of holding your own child in your hands, the little thing you gave birth to, the outside part of you.. Believe me, You won't be thinking how messy he/she is, how expensive would be to raise a child or how you're losing your freedom.

    Just because you'd like to stand out and "not agree with every stupid person's urges" doesn't mean you should put yourself in such position. A truly free person is the one who is not bound by ANYTHING, including forbidding yourself certain ideas and feelings. If you want to be free and spend all the time you have for yourself, fine, but don't just shelf the whole "settling down, having a partner, having kids" to pursue a career forever.

    Having a career is great and makes you feel important and meaningful but at some point you'll begin to wonder if the people that find you important truly matter to you.. That's when you won't find your current thoughts in your head anymore.
    Excellent post.

  17. #37
    As a 24 year old woman who's hearing the pressure too (my family knows better as I've been saying "no kids" since I WAS a kid, but from coworkers and friends etc), I understand. Personally, I know I'd be a good mom. But it's just not for me. I don't want to deal with a baby, I don't want the financial worries, I don't want any of that. Although in the process of training for a career now, I also want to be a freelance artist and travel the world. That is my goal when an older adult. It's not "empty" because I'll be sharing it with a life partner who feels the same way.

    In fact, my current one has an 8 year old daughter and I might become her stepmom. That would be perfectly fine by me. I love her and don't care about the fact that we're not genetically related (Yes I know it's instinctively "not the same", but since I never had a yearning for motherhood in the first place, that doesn't matter to me). My boyfriend said he'd want to conceive another child with me as a younger sister to her but I said hell no..still don't want my own children!

  18. #38
    Quote Originally Posted by Bwutty View Post
    There are many flaws in your post and generally in your way of thinking but I'll talk about just one:

    "I will not change my mind."

    Wrong. 100% wrong. Just because you are currently (probably - assuming here) anti-social or dislike "serious" relationship or guys in general doesn't mean tomorrow won't be the day you meet a guy that will make your tummy tremble, your brain freeze and your heart pound. Yes, there's a chance you won't meet him soon but with the passing years your values WILL change.

    People want to be free, bound by nothing, able to do whatever they want.. But that time passes. You'll get too full of "the experience" of being on your own.. It's in human nature to make relationships and seek a partner.. Just because you don't want one now doesn't mean tomorrow you won't wake up with a whole different set of views.

    From what I know, while they are a lot of work, require effort and devotion and may cause negative feelings, if you ever have the privilege of holding your own child in your hands, the little thing you gave birth to, the outside part of you.. Believe me, You won't be thinking how messy he/she is, how expensive would be to raise a child or how you're losing your freedom.

    Just because you'd like to stand out and "not agree with every stupid person's urges" doesn't mean you should put yourself in such position. A truly free person is the one who is not bound by ANYTHING, including forbidding yourself certain ideas and feelings. If you want to be free and spend all the time you have for yourself, fine, but don't just shelf the whole "settling down, having a partner, having kids" to pursue a career forever.

    Having a career is great and makes you feel important and meaningful but at some point you'll begin to wonder if the people that find you important truly matter to you.. That's when you won't find your current thoughts in your head anymore.
    I have a boyfriend, and I love with him with all my heart. I still don't want kids, neither does he. This is not something I see myself forced to do. It's just what I think. Sorry of it seems forced or hostile to you, I'm not that good with words as I would like to, but I can improve, right?

    While I do not like the heard mentality, it's just how things are. Yes I do stereotype, heard things. And have no problem with that, I am human after all.

    "Having a career is great and makes you feel important and meaningful but at some point you'll begin to wonder if the people that find you important truly matter to you.. That's when you won't find your current thoughts in your head anymore."

    Care to elaborate on that? I'm afraid I don't quite follow.
    Last edited by Jaguera; 2012-06-25 at 01:36 PM.
    Ty Rivellana for the sig!

  19. #39
    Quote Originally Posted by Jaguera View Post
    There are enough people on the planet.
    This. The guy knows it.

    [edit]Oooooooo, she's a woman.
    That guy (>'.')>


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  20. #40
    Legendary! Spl4sh3r's Avatar
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    I know I want kids but I don't know if that will ever happen.

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