How did you manage to break up with someone?

[herpderpslurp]

i really only dated my ex because i was best friends with him and he said he was in love with me, so i was with him for a year and a half even tho i only really saw him as a friend. i fell for another guy while dating him though, and when that guy asked me out i broke up with my ex just by saying i couldnt be his girlfriend anymore because i didnt like him in that way and i didnt want to be with him in that way anymore.

was only 16 at the time, so it really wasnt very deep at all. he did cry though. i felt like crap.

[Jackmoves]

Talked about it face to face, it was kind of a mutual agreement then we had sex, after that I spent the next 6 weeks sleeping on the coach till she had found a flat. I regreted it like hell and a couple of months after she had moved out I met her at a mutual friends birthday party and tried to have "lets get back together" talk with her, I had a tear or two in my eyes, but my talk didn't work and she ran away crying, after that we didn't speak to one another in at least a year. Not even when she came to gather the rest of her belongings in my flat, I made sure I wasn't home when she came over.

Took me maybe 5 months to start thinking about other girls.
Met my current girlfriend(3 years together now) about a year after we broke up.
Spent a lot of time going out partying and meeting my friends during the "get over it" phase.

I find just cutting all bounds is the best way to get over it, do not linger, just break it off completely.

[endersblade]

Eleven months in Iraq.

[Sam the Wiser]

18 years on this planet never had a GF! So my record clean and will probably be til end of time cause i am FOREVER ALONE!

[inboundpaper]

I was playing me some MW2, and my relationship was dead in the water, so I picked up the phone and said "we need to break up". Then I moved on.

[Punchbag]

Ive never had to break up a relationship because ive never -had- one. I prefer solitude, less drama, less hassle. I'd rather be alone *Nod*

[Kisho]

So the relationship was one that started during University. I'm a year older than her, so I finished Uni then waited a year for her to get out so she could move in with me at my parents' house. The relationship went on another year, and over this time I just realised that we weren't right for each other for various reasons that I won't bother to get in to.

Essentially what I did was book a couple days off work, asked to speak to her in private, and broke up with her face to face. She cried a lot, I cried, but I stayed strong and resolute. After a bit of talking she asked 'what happens now?', and I said it's probably best if she packs up the essentials, gets a train back to her mother's house, then comes back a week later to pick up the rest of her things.

So I left her to packing and took her to the train station, said goodbye. That was it. She didn't come back a week later; she couldn't face me apparently, so her mother came instead. I haven't seen or spoken to her since.

As I did the breaking up it wasn't too bad... There were a few days of crying, but it was mainly mourning the loss of the relationship, not so much losing her in particular. There were a couple of times when I thought 'oh god what have I done, I've made a horrible mistake nobody else will ever love me like she did', then I engaged my rational brain and realised that was bullshit.

So yeah... The short version is this. Have a plan, follow through. Stay strong and know you're doing what's best for both of you. Hope for the best but prepare for the worst. It's been about 3 months now for me and I'm actively looking for a new partner now (not as a rebound either), so it's worked pretty well for me. We'll see how that goes.

Breaking up can be hard. Just know you're doing the right thing for both of you.

[Deleted]

Last relationship? I got dumped. We were living together, I got seriously mauled at work crippling me, and she couldn't cope with the time it took me to get back to my feet (pun intended). Not to mention she resigned the lease of the apartment behind my back, I only found after calling the landlady to change the lease to my name but at that time the landlady had already found new tenants. I survived the pain thanks to a very dear friend of mine who's like a brother to me, but up to this day (9 months later) I still haven't started dating again, and I find it very difficult to trust women.

[Deleted]

Ok well. I want to know from my fellow community.

* how did you break up with your last ex (serious relationship that lasted meeeh 1 yr +)
Big massive argument, she was always lying to me about trivial things and it slowly burnt me up, we were together for just over 7 years

*how did you cope with the pain of knowing it was over?
Not so well but as i have the kids half the time they REALLY help keep you distracted
when they aren't around i am fighting back tears at EVERYTHING, drop dead diva, game of thrones....hell even an episode of the ultimate fighter chocked me up when he was speaking about his family...

*how long did it take you before you were over it and could start dating again?
Pfft i only broke up with her on Wednesday so no idea, already got an old girl friend from back in the day that's trying to make a move, but yeh need to straighten my head before i get involved with any of her shenanigans

Did any of you do something drastic when breaking up? like making a BIG scene at a super market? over the phone? in person? and whats the easiest way without prolonging it?
Well as aforementioned she was always lying to me about silly stuff, for example she had a minor scratchcard habit, every time i went near her bad for anything there would be 2-3 sitting there, not a problem most times as we were fine on food and electric, but even on the times we were struggling with money i'd still find more...
So yeh when i actually decided to end it there was a LOT of shouting (more than i would have liked as kids were there)

And another question, what if your living with the person but have nowhere to go? :x what would you do?
I was living with her, had no choice to take all my things to my brothers till i get set up in my own house

Sooooo yeh anyone with tips PM plz as this is like a third of my life i was seeing her (23yrs) don't really know how to spend my days when im alone...
but if its any go get laid don't even bother...

[Levicopter]

I broke up through the phone as it was a distanced relationship.
It lasted 13 months, and it ended as my ex treated me like my only purpouse would be to have sex with him..... oh, and he was very attached to me, too much as I couldn't do anything with my friends without hearing him complaining about it.
As weeks went by, I started to lose interess in him due to his behaviour and then i knew, that i don't love him anymore, and broke up with him.
I tried to be nice, but the response from him was: I hope you will rot.

I am done with him, but now I want to enjoy freedom and space...

Well... as my friend says: there are more fish in the sea...... i hope nicer ones

[Uwibami]

As I hate breaking up, I've always made my ex's hate me and get them to call it quits. That way, we both move on, happily.
Though I do get some funny reactions when they say "We should break up" and I just go "Oh okay" and pack and leave.
Don't know why, but that seems to make them want me more, as I've had a few of them chase after me for years afterwards.

[raechuul]

Well, I've never broken up with someone, but I was going to call it quits with my last ex... about two weeks before he announced over text that he just "didn't have feelings" for me anymore. I'd still like to slap that one in the face.

[Nasriel]

The last BF "proper" I had broke up with me. It was really hard as I was living interstate with no family and we were both relying on each other. I think it just got all too hard for him and when his mother offered him his own room at her house he took it and broke up with me. How did I deal with it? I cried alot. I packed up all my stuff and moved back interstate to where my parents were.

The last guy I was with (after the guy who went home to Mum) I broke up with via MSN. I didn't want to do it that way but I had no choice. We weren't really "dating". I only got to see him on Tuesdays during WoW maintenance *rolleyes* anyway he'd added me to facebook and my parents were going away for a few days so I invited him over to spend the weekend but he told me his dad needed help all weekend with work... That sunday photos appeared of him on his facebook hugging and kissing another girl. I tried to get him to talk to me face to face but he refused to. Even when I went to his house and knocked on his door he hid like a coward. I tried to ring him but he wouldn't answer his phone. He'd only reply to me on MSN so I had no choice but to tell him to sod off.

Funny thing was he was my first ever boyfriend so I should have expected it. I was 20, crazy about the guy but he became engrossed in his uni work and didn't want to spend any time with me. So he figured on a whim he'd break up with me. Rather than being a man and telling me to my face.... he dumped me via.. SMS! He wouldn't even ring me to tell me it was over -_- so i'm hardly surprised when we got back together several years later he was still a coward (he proves that a leopard can't change it's spots)

I have also broken up with a guy. Again I'd been living with him. I moved interstate to be with him but it was an awful relationship, he was verbally abusive and used to treat me like dirt. I was living with his family and they were just as awful. One day my ex and his bro had an argument over something. I was sleeping and my ex called his mum who came home and ripped shreds off my ex then came to me and verbally abused me saying that I was destroying the family, causing the bro depressing. Ruining her business (I don't know I was doing that). turning my ex into an awful person and going to cause my ex's dad to have a heart attack... We went home one Xmas and my ex and his bro were arguing AS USUAL but I was standing back staying out of it and his Mum came to us and said "I wish you never came back!" I was feeling so depressed towards the end I could barely function and used to go to work from the moment it opened to the moment it closed just to not be at home and when I was home i'd just sleep which used to make him even angrier. I tried and tried to make it work as we were engaged but the problem is the longer we lived together the more apparent it was becoming that he had some serious mental issues... He came to me one day and said to me "Are you still in love with me?" and I just couldn't keep it together anymore I was so miserable and I answered honestly with "No" I really felt bad when he started to wail like he'd been injured since I know he loved me but he just didn't know how to express it without saying horrible stuff or putting me down. I quickly found a place to rent and had moved out of his place within a week. To this day I regret living in that hell for so long but as i was interstate with no family I had nowhere to go and didn't know where i'd go if I broke up with him as my only option was to sleep in the car... which in hindsight would have been better than staying in that destructive environment

Breaking up sucks. There is no easy or painless way to do it

[Torq]

Most of my relationships ended with me being broken up with. They were all over the phone, if I recall correctly. They were hard, but looking back, I can't fault any of them for breaking up with me.

Then came the first girl I had to dump. We had a pretty... rocky relationship, partly because she was more than a little bit of an attention whore, and partly because it was long-distance. She would always be hanging out with guys, so much so that it started to become a little... inappropriate. Needless to say, that took its toll on our relationship. One time, when I was visiting her, I found out she had almost made plans to visit some guy in another state. However, due to the way I found out, and the reason why I was visiting, I confronted her about it, but didn't break up with her like I had actually wanted to. My own fault for not wanting to add more stress to her current situation.

Later, we actually did break up, mostly due to the constant bickering. We eventually got back together, but after we did, she admitted to me that she nearly had a fling with another guy in the interim. She told me she wouldn't talk to him, etc, out of respect for our relationship.

Well, about a month later, I found out she was once again talking to him, a lot. The worst part was, I found this out on WoW (as we used to play together). Needless to say, I dumped her on the spot. I know it's shitty to not bother to do the breaking up in person, but honestly... she deserved it. She called me shortly after (in tears, of course), but I was so livid I just shouted and her and hung up on her. Her best friend even called me, telling me some bullshit about how torn up my ex was, so I told her that my ex should have considered that before breaking a promise.

The funny part is that she still wants to be my friend. We broke up years ago, and after a long period of ignoring her, I decided I'd be nice and try to be her friend... Which ended up failing miserably.

She still tries to get ahold of me. Not often, but after 6-9 months go by having not heard from her, I start to wonder when I'll hear from her again. It's rather annoying that she can't take a hint.

The girlfriend after that was just not working out, so I dumped her. She took it really hard, but she was also super clingy and attached, so I sorta expected it.

[Yavannie]

I'm afraid I'm a bit of a cold-hearted dumper, and not yet been a dumpee, so my views are a bit one-sided.

Two of my long-term relationships have ended with me simply saying "I don't want anything to do with you henceforth", and after that, no contact whatsoever. Both of these guys had lied to me about very serious things.

The first one, I felt like I didn't even know anymore, when I found out what he'd been hiding. I wasn't upset by the breakup, even after 3 years. More a feeling of "ugh, glad this is over, who was this guy?". I dated someone about 6 months later, but that had nothing to do with the previous break-up, it was just a matter of enjoying single life for a while.

The second one was an on/off relationship for 3 years. We'd had a break for a couple of months and were giving it "one last go". After a few months, I found out he'd gotten someone else pregnant during the couple of off-months, and he'd neglected to tell me this because he thought it was "going so well". The only thing I was upset about in that breakup was the poor girl with the baby on the way, and the baby itself. I met someone only a month afterwards, and we're still together now. Funny thing is that the ex called me up and tried to have a go at me for meeting someone new so soon. I laughed at him over the phone and hung up, and never answered his calls again.

The only time I've quit a relationship against my will, it was with a guy who didn't have the guts to break up himself. He was acting weird for a while before I asked him straight out if he really wanted to be with me. Even then, he couldn't say "no" to my face, just kind of shuffled his feet and was lost for words. However, we'd only been dating seriously for a few months, so I hadn't gotten attached in a big way. It wasn't a painful breakup, I think I cried for 15 minutes afterwards and then told myself he wasn't worth the trouble.

I generally get over these things very quickly. Not sure if that makes me a cold bitch or a strong, indepentant woman, but I know what my exes would say

[Dwergaapje]

my last relationship ended in december, 5.5 years down the drain....
she was a fool who cheated on me, (this was around october) and as soon as i found out i texted her that it was over (yeah i texted her...)
we had been arguing the weeks before and at that point she always shut down stopped talking and couldnt say anything proper...
and it was around 3 o clock at night... then she called me up and suddenly did want to talk.
i pretty much shot her down and asked her who was gonna tell her parents, me or her...
In the end i turn back to the gentleman i am and promise her i wouldnt tell anyone she cheated on me (foolish me)
told her she could still hang out with the same friends etc, (luckily this never happened)
Then there was like carnaval here and she wanted to bring her new boyfriend with us.
i told her that she shouldnt do it and she agreed / understood....
then the day before a friend of her told me she said she was bringing him and we should all accept it...
i said that if that happened i would walk away, (and my friends would stick with me and follow)
My friends would follow me because they want too....
but then again for her it seemed i turned everyone against her and she was mad, went all out and said she was never happy with me blablabla...
ohh god i was angry then! :P
so i deleted her and blocked her on every possible thing i could.

0% contact = win
its now 6 months later and every now and then i think about it...
i also her she starts missing her friends etc, and that she's not as happy as she thought she would be.
on the one hand i am like awww pity, then im like NOOOO screw you, you fucked up and now deal with it....

I still have contact with her parents.
Only see them when she is not around herself...

me and the dating scene is quiet atm.
I will get back into it as soon as i actually feel like it.
On the one hand i'd like it, but i also LOVE the solo lifestyle atm.
can play my guitar and everything.
its been a big change and in the end its better for me, really enjoying myself!