How do you tell someone you like them as more than friends?

[Deleted]

So if I expect the worst why even bother you're probably asking? well I guess it's because I want to know for certain. I don't want to be left wondering "what if?" I'll go into the backstory a little more

Backstory is irrelevant, just go for it. Keep it simple and tell them how you feel, nothing more and nothing less.

I skipped over an opportunity in the past with a close friend because I didn't want to risk losing the friendship. Worse still, due to the different directions our lives took we're no longer in frequent contact, I hear from them once a year around Christmas. In hindsight all I would have been risking is a distant friendship, when the alternative could have been so much better.

It truly is better to regret doing something, than doing nothing - it always comes down to "what if".

[TekGoNos]

I sent him a message a few hours ago asking when is the best time for him as I know he's going out for tea for his Sisters B'day tonight and plans with his friends over the weekend... I'm really hoping he's not going to do what I suspect he will... and so far no reply.

He's a guy, probably pre-occupied trying to get a gift for his sister at the last minute. I would only start worrying after two days. (And personally, I don't think you are in a friend zone, but that's biased by what you told us.)

Also, as a general rule (not only in dating), I now always propose a time. It just cuts short the whole back-and-forth: "When go we out", "whenever it's fine for you", "I'm free all days", "Me too", "so when", "you tell", ... So instead, write "When will be the best time for you? I though, maybe Tuesday night, at 8?" It's much simpler to answer a binary question ("Am I free Tuesday at 8?") than an open question ("When would I prefer to go out with her?"). And he can always suggest a different time.

But then, I'm a guy and taking leadership is usually expected from me.

[vaajtswv]

Hey guys, similar to the guy in this thread... thanks in advance

Pretend your friend is asking this exact same question. Take all the advice you would give him, and give them to yourself.

My own advice: If you are friendzoned, just start dating other girls and move on. If there even is a remote chance she's interested in you, it'll come out when you start dating other girls. If she still shows no interest, you at least didn't waste time by fawning over her and have actually met a few girls who do like you.

[Gamdwelf]

I want to know what OP looks like now.

[Rakoth]

Doesn't matter what OP looks like. Knowing would just invite trolling.

Typically, guys don't really "friendzone" girls do. If your in the friendszone, it was never something that would happen in the first place.

I think you did the right thing, inviting him for a movie, one on one. I also think your overthinking things. If he doesn't get back to you, ask him what's up. It doesn't matter if I am not interested or not, if someone invites me out for something, I always respond. If things don't work out and I can't go to the movie, it's not because I faked interest, it's because something really came up.

Now, if he tells you he forgot because he was gaming or something, I would just move on. If he comes up with a good excuse, just offer him a rain check.

[Gamdwelf]

Doesn't matter what OP looks like. Knowing would just invite trolling.

Typically, guys don't really "friendzone" girls do. If your in the friendszone, it was never something that would happen in the first place.

I think you did the right thing, inviting him for a movie, one on one. I also think your overthinking things. If he doesn't get back to you, ask him what's up. It doesn't matter if I am not interested or not, if someone invites me out for something, I always respond. If things don't work out and I can't go to the movie, it's not because I faked interest, it's because something really came up.

Now, if he tells you he forgot because he was gaming or something, I would just move on. If he comes up with a good excuse, just offer him a rain check.

Guys friendzone girls all the time.

My advice to OP would be to just tell the guy, the sooner the better so you don't have to wonder anymore. If he says he dosen't like you back its not really a big deal, it will probably suck for a while, but you can move on.

[Nasriel]

Ok, so another update. It's been 24hrs and I've had... Zero, Zip, Nadda contact from him in response to my original inquiry about when he'd like to go to the cinema. I'm feeling very put off at this point in time. Actually to be honest i'm feeling like a damn fool. As originally stated in OP I basically pulled him thru most of the courses and he admitted it and thanked me for it when he was drunk. I didn't do it because I "loved" him I did it because I thought we were friends....

but no, now that the course is done and i'm no longer useful it would appear i'm going to be discarded. I will not be impressed if he was just using me -_- because I honestly wanted to remain friends at the very least with this guy. *sigh* I feel like such a moron. I really truly hope i'm overreacting but why on earth would it take someone 24+ hours to reply to a SMS which is instantly sent and received?

[Jotaux]

Give him one more day then call him. If he was just using you to pass the courses that is a douche move and hes not worth any more of your time.

[Sam the Wiser]

Tell him how you feel and seal the deal with a kiss ?

[cp1]

You said he had a birthday and weekend plans already. So don't worry if he doesn't respond instantly. Just ask him on a day you know he's free and propose a time.

[Gamdwelf]

Ok, so another update. It's been 24hrs and I've had... Zero, Zip, Nadda contact from him in response to my original inquiry about when he'd like to go to the cinema. I'm feeling very put off at this point in time. Actually to be honest i'm feeling like a damn fool. As originally stated in OP I basically pulled him thru most of the courses and he admitted it and thanked me for it when he was drunk. I didn't do it because I "loved" him I did it because I thought we were friends....

but no, now that the course is done and i'm no longer useful it would appear i'm going to be discarded. I will not be impressed if he was just using me -_- because I honestly wanted to remain friends at the very least with this guy. *sigh* I feel like such a moron. I really truly hope i'm overreacting but why on earth would it take someone 24+ hours to reply to a SMS which is instantly sent and received?

I thought this about a girl I was interested in a few weeks ago, turned out she just never got my txt. So I wouldn't assume he is just ignoring you just because you got no response.

[Nasriel]

Day 2. Still nothing. Had a strange dream earlier that was telling me he didn't get the message lol, so maybe he didn't. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I've put my Simcard in my old mobile phone which has never failed to deliver a message (I'm not entirely confident the new one has delivered all the SMS's since a couple don't seem to have gotten through to my brother) and it gives me a definate successfully sent notification so I can trust that it will deliver the message. I know he won't has plans as usually he'd be in class. This time i'm going to try a different tact however. I'm going to go from "When is the best time for you?" to something more like this. "Hi, not sure if you got the last message... Did you want to come to Spiderman with me? if yes then when? if not then please do not ignore this message and just tell me."

I can't get more blunt than that. I can't ring him as i'm just too damn shy and if he turns me down I don't really want to allow him to hear the disappointment (stupid pride). If I still get no reply then i'll give up. If he can't reply to my messages then he's not worth my time

[BlueGender]

Suggest you do things together, just the two of you. For the love of God, don't call it a date.

[Nasriel]

Suggest you do things together, just the two of you. For the love of God, don't call it a date.

Don't worry i'm not stupid enough to do that! I'm old enough to know mentioning the words "Love and Date" to people is a sure fire way to have them running off in the opposite direction. Nobody likes people who come on far too strong in the beginning.

My exact words to him were "I'm going to see Spiderman in a couple of days, would you like to come with me?"

[Deleted]

Day 2. Still nothing. Had a strange dream earlier that was telling me he didn't get the message lol, so maybe he didn't. I'm going to try again tomorrow. I've put my Simcard in my old mobile phone which has never failed to deliver a message (I'm not entirely confident the new one has delivered all the SMS's since a couple don't seem to have gotten through to my brother) and it gives me a definate successfully sent notification so I can trust that it will deliver the message. I know he won't has plans as usually he'd be in class. This time i'm going to try a different tact however. I'm going to go from "When is the best time for you?" to something more like this. "Hi, not sure if you got the last message... Did you want to come to Spiderman with me? if yes then when? if not then please do not ignore this message and just tell me."

I can't get more blunt than that. I can't ring him as i'm just too damn shy and if he turns me down I don't really want to allow him to hear the disappointment (stupid pride). If I still get no reply then i'll give up. If he can't reply to my messages then he's not worth my time

Wow, this reminds me so much of myself: You're overthinking, interpreting and assuming the worst case scenario, always expecting the worst from people and afraid to get hurt which essentially results in never being able to have a close relationship with other people. I mean you clearly like this guy after spending time and time with him in class, but now that he doesn't reply to your message you automatically assume that he is an evil douchebag that wants to embarress you. Get over your fear of rejection: You seem like an awfully nice girl, you are the price. If he really is intentionally ignoring you then fuck him, because the least he can do is decline the invitation. Nevertheless I am sure he has his reasons.

[Gilgemesh]

Hey. Can't help but notice that fine ass. Its time I got some hands on experience with your machinery.

[0oglitcho0]

Most guys (The good ones) won't make a move unless they are sure that you feel the same way. They won't want to ruin the relationship they have with you, and they value it a lot. Especially one that likes you.

If you don't give them any signs at all that you like them, you are probably just going to stay as a friend. The best thing that you can do, is let them know.
Each person has their own way of letting someone know, whether it be subtle, or outright, but the best thing you can do, is let him know somehow.

You probably value the friendship as well, and are scared to ruin it, but if you want it to happen, then say something, or do something. Try looking into his eyes more often, or just complementing him, etc. Give him really good hugs, and maybe text him more often.

If he doesn't pick up that you're trying to start something, it might not happen. I don't know.

Personally, I would like to know if a girl liked me. And I would like it if she was upfront about it. But you don't normally get too many girls like that.

I wish you the best of luck.


Edit - Sorry, just read the last page and the current state you are in. I still wish you luck.

[Ratyrel]

I'm sorry to hear that hasn't responded yet - the world would be a lot simpler if people would respond to messages right away. Hang in there though, this doesn't have to mean anything at all.

[Nasriel]

Day 3 - No response. I tried to send another message with my phone I know for a fact works. STILL NOTHING. This guy has officially pushed out out of friend zone, out of being an acquaintance into ... well... into the ignored zone I don't mind in saying i'm thoroughly confused by this turn of events. I never actually made a pass at him, I'm not a touchy feely type person so I always kept my hands to myself, NEVER tried to hug him, I didn't do anything that would give him the hint that I liked him as more than a friend as i wasn't sure about his feelings towards me.

Maybe this is what he meant when he was drunk and kept insisting he's an asshole? either way at the moment he's acting like a total coward. In my last message i even said "If you don't want to go please tell me. Don't just ignore my message" and again. Nothing. Oh well. It would appear his feelings toward me are crystal clear. I'm nothing to him. Not even worthy of being considered a friend. I even went to my course last thursday because he specifically asked me to. It would appear that he just wanted me there to help him get his crap done... After all this time and all the assistance I provided, this is how it turns out? That's.... depressing.

[tiporispit]

This is an easy one. You take them on MTV's Friendzone. Good luck!