Insecure people

[Lyriok]

Just buy her a yacht and take her out on it, Just get on with it already!

OT: I really don't think anything is wrong at all. Just give it time, Seems like it should work out.

[PizzaSHARK]

I've seen other relationship threads pop up..and you are ignoring a crucial element in this situation that gives absolutely massive bias towards the type of people posting on here. People who are more shy and distant from others, who do not know how to properly communicate or are too scared to, have less social connections. If you have strong social connections, who are you going to talk to? Your best friend who you can share anything with, or a bunch of random strangers on the internet?

If you lack strong social connections, the internet is inhibiting you, not enabling you. To be blunt, those people need to get the hell off the internet and learn to talk to people. The best way to learn is to actually go out there and do it.

That's a pretty oblivious and ignorant label to cast on every single man in the wold. So you're saying that the only driving goal in any man's life, is sex? What about relationships that start before puberty than?

The only true goal for any living life form is to procreate - so, yeah, absent of anything the person themselves wants out of life, or what society places on them, their one and only drive is to make babies. More practically, sexual attraction is the basis for the beginning of virtually any kind of relationship with any sort of longevity - the guy thinks that girl is cute (or that guy is cute, if he swings that way) and approaches them based on a base desire to get into their pants.

That doesn't mean that it's the only reason they're approaching them, but it is the foundation for the whole structure. Sex is more than just physical enjoyment, especially in a long-lasting relationship. I don't have any stats to cite offhand, but I'd wager that in relationships where the partners don't engage in sexual activity at all or with low frequency, those relationships have a much greater chance of failing.

I don't consider pre-puberty relationships to be relevant here. If you were very young when you met, you became friends more because you spent a lot of time around each other due to your parents (both sets) being friends with each other. I've been friends with my buddy since we were two - but that makes him more like a brother than a friend because we pretty much grew up together. It's like introducing two kittens from two different parentages together - as those cats grow, they regard each other more as siblings than separate cats.

Ummm...... relationships starting on wow and eventually leading to marriage say hi?

Starting based off of a need for sex. Even before you know what they look like, you're going to assign them a physical appearance (maybe altered based by what they've said about themselves) and you're going to find that attractive enough to pursue it further. Why else would guys in WoW and similar games go apeshit over a girl being present in the raid or party?

Yes, but there is a difference between approaching someone that's attractive that you would fuck and that being your only goal.

You have to understand, while you are right, most people making these topics are in the 'must fuck' stage, most of the time(not this instance, but 99.9% of the time) they are either very young, or very immature.

Tbh, I think a lot of them do want relationships. Ofc they want to sleep with them, but I don't think that's always their main goal. They just don't think outside of their little bubble and don't understand 'landing the girl' isn't a real concept, and there isn't some seal-the-deal type of magical secret. They only see short term and base their relationship knowledge off romantic comedies and the 4 month 'relationships' of their equally young or immature peers.

Yes, perfect. Couldn't have summarized it better myself.

[Mukki]

I'm currently chatting with this beautiful woman, and before I even go talk about her, I do not respect posts that say " leave her, blabla " or " lol she doesn't like you blabla " because to be honest those trolls can go die in a fire. I am looking for a good discussion about reaching out to someone you love/like and take away their insecurity.

The first time I met her we had a 6 hour conversation and the next day we didn't want to rush into things so we both kept quiet on MSN. A few days later I just started talking and we had the same hour of conversation again. She asked if she wanted to cam with me so I said yes and now this has been going on for a month.

She sometimes talks about sex with me, but we can also have very normal conversations about things in life. She is very open and honest to me, but for some reason she doesn't feel "worthy" to be asked out on a date. She loves to go on a date with me, she said I am everything she ever wanted in a man, but she is affraid that I don't like her.

She isn't "standard hot" ( read that as slim, tall etc ) but she is perfect enough for me. I just wonder how I can get this insecurity out of her and guide her. I personally think it's worth it to try and get that insecurity out so she can be herself around me, then we can advance. I don't care how long it takes... she is worth it

You can't "fix" someone, the sooner you learn that, the easier it'll be.

---------- Post added 2012-07-12 at 06:09 AM ----------

She loves my attention. I am the one that talks on MSN and she types. I use true compliments, not the basic " you look beautiful " but I tell her what is actually beautiful.

We share the same type of music, same type of "hatred" towards certain people and we both share opinions and we both respect eachother.

@Kisho: I already send her a little message yesterday... now I have to wait how she reacts on that.

I just need to stay who I am and don't push her to much. Hopefully getting her to ask me out... that would be ace. Thanks

I would also recommend changing your mindset. You realize you're being extremely submissive right now, right? Man up.