Why are acts of kindness a rarity now?

[Karthorn]

I'm going to tell you a story that just happened when I was coming back from getting something to eat for lunch. So I was driving to the McDonalds and noticed about 4 people working, in Florida, it's about 90 degrees where I live, and seeing how it's Florida, they were drenched in sweat, me being kind at heart, after I got my food, I decided to go across the street to the store were I bought a 24 pack of Water, which thankfully was chilled. So after buying it, I went back across the street and walked up to them and handed them the 24-pack of chilled water, to which they were shocked and very thankful, saying how grateful they were because they ran out of water an hour ago and why they were shocked seeing how something like that doesn't happen everyday, and telling them that it wasn't a big deal. So I'm asking you, why are general acts of kindness so rare now?

[Khaza-R]

When were they ever not rare?

[Karthorn]

When were they ever not rare?

By that, I also mean things like manners, like holding doors for people and etc.

[Wynnyelle]

I try to be kind to people whenever I can, because I feel like there are so many rude people out there, that it makes it seem like there aren't nice people out there. I don't think that acts of kindness are a rarity, I just think that the assholes largely outnumber the nice people. I can think of plenty of nice things that people have done for me, so there are certainly still nice people out there.

[wilbbailey]

Common decency died with John Wayne.

[Khaza-R]

By that, I also mean things like manners, like holding doors for people and etc.

Those are two separate things in my opinion. What you described in the OP is an act of kindness, which requires empathy. Looking at someone else and thinking, "what if I were in their situation?". This has always been a rare quality in people. Holding doors, greetings, and manners are merely learned behaviors which require no emotional intelligence.

[TaurenNinja]

Maybe because life isn't so easy and people are busy taking care for themselves so they prefer not to spend a lot of time/energy/money dealing with or thinking about other peoples' problems. But on the other hand, that makes people even more grateful for acts of kindness.

[s_bushido]

You went out of your way to help them. I'm not sure that was ever common practice. I see people holding doors for others all the time, though. But automatic doors kinda make it difficult.

[Karthorn]

Those are two separate things in my opinion. What you described in the OP is an act of kindness, which requires empathy. Looking at someone else and thinking, "what if I were in their situation?". This has always been a rare quality in people. Holding doors, greetings, and manners are merely learned behaviors which require no emotional intelligence.

Well manners from what I've seen can be very rare in people as well. But you are correct on the empathy thing.

[Revik]

IMO they are no more or less rare than they were before. The only difference is our perception of it. When you are flooded with media and information much of it negitive its very easy for people to become cynical or jaded.

[Imnick]

I don't think they have got any rarer?

[isuridedes]

That was rather kind of you, though the cynic in me wonders why the hell they hadn't bothered to do the same thing and buy some water if they had run out. Anyway...

It would be interesting to know just how common these simple acts really were back in the day. You can't take media at face value because it always painted an ideal society. I doubt for example that you honestly believe the standard American 1950s household involved kids getting involved in innocent mischief but otherwise always being polite and agreeable to their elders, with a father who worked and came home to a fresh martini prepared by a loving and submissive wife.

I suspect that things weren't really quite so picture-perfect, and that these portrayals are how we WANTED things to be, rather than how they necessarily were.

... your one example though is easy to quantify. Holding doors for people USED to be primarily a man holding a door for a woman. Over the years that has grown out of fashion because it became associated with a level of control on the mans part; treating a woman as though she were incapable of simple acts. The feminist movement for female independence led some people to be quite vocal about things like holding doors, paying for meals, etc, etc and so eventually people just stopped doing them so as not to risk offending.

That being said, I still hold the door for people - just not all the time.

[Deleted]

I highly doubt there's any real difference between how many acts of kindness we show today and people did years ago. If anything i think people tend to remember the "good ol' days" as they want to see it and not for what it really was.

[Maruka]

I never really consider things acts of true pure kindness if you feel the need to tell people about it. Real acts of kindness are things you do that you dont broadcast to the rest of the world.

That being said im not as kind as i should be.

[KWC3587]

They happen all the time really, but where would you hear about them beyond you mentioning it or the people you helped? Not like the news would report on it unless it was either a slow news day, or the story ended with one of you getting hit by a truck. Just have to keep in mind that it's like plants making oxygen, happens all the time you just never see or hear about it.

[Deleted]

You dont get any material benefits from charity/kindness. These days people only go for the profit.

[StationaryHawk]

Maybe not everybody who performs an act of kindness brags about it?

[Porcell]

I'm going to tell you a story that just happened when I was coming back from getting something to eat for lunch. So I was driving to the McDonalds and noticed about 4 people working, in Florida, it's about 90 degrees where I live, and seeing how it's Florida, they were drenched in sweat, me being kind at heart, after I got my food, I decided to go across the street to the store were I bought a 24 pack of Water, which thankfully was chilled. So after buying it, I went back across the street and walked up to them and handed them the 24-pack of chilled water, to which they were shocked and very thankful, saying how grateful they were because they ran out of water an hour ago and why they were shocked seeing how something like that doesn't happen everyday, and telling them that it wasn't a big deal. So I'm asking you, why are general acts of kindness so rare now?

It's funny you say that. There's a sign-spinner guy on my way home from work that was standing by the side of the road outside of a "HUD Home Loan" or whatever place. Last week when it was 100 degrees, I stopped by a party store and picked up a big thing of Gatorade and took it to him.

Okay, I didn't really actually do it, but I -thought- about doing it and how nice of a gesture it would be. But then I just kept driving and went home and sat in my air conditioning. But at least I -thought- about doing something good. Maybe I'll stop today. Maybe. But I think about stopping every time I see the guy. And this isn't in some area that has a shit-ton of sign spinner guys, they are pretty rare. But he's out there every day, holding that sign, and I think "Good for him, having a job and working out in the heat. I should buy him a drink."

I should, but I don't. Is it okay to possess empathy but then not act on it? I hope so.

[Khaza-R]

Maybe not everybody who performs an act of kindness brags about it?

Maybe they should. Heaven knows, its better than bragging about the 390480 other useless things that people seem to validate themselves with.

[Karthorn]

It's funny you say that. There's a sign-spinner guy on my way home from work that was standing by the side of the road outside of a "HUD Home Loan" or whatever place. Last week when it was 100 degrees, I stopped by a party store and picked up a big thing of Gatorade and took it to him.

Okay, I didn't really actually do it, but I -thought- about doing it and how nice of a gesture it would be. But then I just kept driving and went home and sat in my air conditioning. But at least I -thought- about doing something good. Maybe I'll stop today. Maybe. But I think about stopping every time I see the guy. And this isn't in some area that has a shit-ton of sign spinner guys, they are pretty rare. But he's out there every day, holding that sign, and I think "Good for him, having a job and working out in the heat. I should buy him a drink."

I should, but I don't. Is it okay to possess empathy but then not act on it? I hope so.

Yeah it is.