<Avalerion> Stormrage-EU PvE ranked 323 25man 12h/week from 20:30

[flak]

My wife left me because I'm going bald.

I'm not bothered, it's hair loss.

[flak]

I hate my smoke alarm.

It's always ten minutes late in telling me my dinner's ready.

[flak]

My girlfriend got angry with me for always making fun of her when I do standup. She screamed at me, "Can you stop making jokes about me!"

I said, "Yeah sure, anything to make you happy sweetheart, but is it alright if I make jokes about my ex?"

She said, "Yeah that's fine."

So I dumped her.

[Avalerion]

Recruitment Updated

[flak]

I think my job interview to be a bug sorter went well.

I boxed all the right ticks.

[flak]

I ordered a pizza to go today, but it just sat there.

[flak]

Police have reported that with further observation, it turns out the lion in Essex is just a snow leopard with a spray tan and hair extensions.

[flak]

The wife's getting all excited because it's our first wedding anniversary this weekend,

I wonder what she's got planned?

[flak]

What a wild weekend I had at my mates stag do down in Essex.

Now I just need to get this lion costume back to the fancy dress shop.

[flak]

My mate hates it when I put his chocolate bars in other chocolate bar wrappers.

It gets his Snickers in a Twix.

[flak]

I was talking to a mate in the pub about my relationship.
"I'm going to go home tonight and say, 'Pam.. It's not working. I want a divorce,'"
"You'd be making a big mistake," he said.
"What do you know about my marriage?" I asked.
"Well I know your wife is called Carol for starters."

[jtstormrage]

Going up....

[flak]

The Hubble telescope has just made an amazing discovery.

A huge yellow paragraph floating through space beginning 'A long long time ago'

[flak]

In Carphone Warehouse today I noticed a collection box that said, 'Buy some sweets and help discover a cure for cancer.' I figured I'd better do my bit - But I was a bit short on time, so I just bought the sweets

[flak]

Sometimes when I can't sleep I try counting sheep, but my ADHD is a nightmare.

One sheep, two sheep, dog, pig, old McDonald, Hey Macarena!

[flak]

My dad committed suicide after losing all his money in a bad property investment.

We knew he took monopoly seriously, but no one saw this coming.

[flak]

I hate it when my wife says you've got to take the rough with the smooth.

I instantly know she's bought the wrong peanut butter.

[flak]

Just because something is meant for kids doesn't mean it won't be amusing for adults.

Boobs are a great example of this.

[flak]

A woman walks into a bar.

"Why the long face?" Asks the barman.

An hour and a half later, he was regretting it.

[flak]

1 Bear..

That's the bear minimum.