Friend Zone the End Zone?

[Deleted]

I don't have friend zone stories and I advice people to grow up.

You're only getting friendzoned if, A) you're ugly, or B) you lack confidence, or C) Both.

---------- Post added 2012-07-22 at 01:32 PM ----------



Not true. It is possible to get out. If you're a fat guy with no confidence women won't be attracted to you.

But losing weight might spark some confidence and in turn might get women to like you more.

I'm not saying it's common, but for some people there is definitely a way out.

Even some fat people with confidence are adored. :P

Take Kevin James, from King of Queens:

[vizzle]

I had to Google Friendzone to find out what it is.

How does it work? Does someone tell you they are putting you in their Friendzone? Do they add you to a website, or is their some relationship update on Facebook that I haven't seen?

If only there was, then people wouldn't be so stupid about obsessing over women so long after they've been put in it.

[Deleted]

"Why can't I ever find a sweet guy who will listen to me, and respect me, and treat me exactly how you do!"

Well, girls that say this obviously like the personality of the guy. They probably don't like the looks though.

[Badpaladin]

Point is... when a girl friend zones you... you need to call her out on it... Especially those ones that try to tell you "Why can't I ever find a sweet guy who will listen to me, and respect me, and treat me exactly how you do!""

It may be hard to believe, but there is also such thing as a guy they'll have sex with but have no interest in outside of that.

[Cthulhu 2020]

No no no NO NO NO NO! It's NEVER the "friendzoned" person fault. Someone either likes you or not, and you can't change that by trying to be someone else. It's NEVER worth to try to be a different person to get success with the opposite sex

Friendzone is an absurd concept

All the people who kvetch endlessly about "always being friendzoned" tend to have one of a couple of things in common...

The most common thing I see is guys who are quiet, shy, and passive who are also afraid of rejection have this weird thing in their head where they think that if they become friends with a woman first that they'll be able to get close to her and in her time of need, be there for her and demonstrate that they're such an amazing friend and are thus life mate material. Sounds good on paper, until you realize how manipulative this sounds, where your entire caveat for getting in a relationship is based on a state of emotional weakness in the other person.

Then there's the "always" part of "always being friend zoned". How often does this happen? Lots of girls, or a few? I'm not necessarily saying that it's the person's fault for being friend zoned, but a lot of it is in the attitude and maturity. My favorite movie to demonstrate this is dirty dancing, where there are several guys in the film. One of them very obviously takes responsibility for his actions, and even takes responsibility of situations that aren't his fault either. The others just kinda dick around and don't really take responsibility for their actions.

I'm not saying start blaming yourself for everything and be hard on yourself and get down about everything that you can't help, but the first step to maturity is when you start thinking about how you can personally make the situation better, rather than looking around for excuses as to why bad stuff is happening.

There are girls out there who will friend zone you because they are attention seekers, dumb, etc, but it's uncommon.

Another common thing I see is guys who complain about getting friend zoned by certain girls while they themselves friend zone other girls without even realizing they're doing it, because they're just not attracted to those other girls. Sound familiar? The girl you're attracted to just may not be attracted to you. It's not necessarily because you're ugly (which a lot of people will say) but we all have our own personal tastes of attractiveness. As soon as you stop pining and whining about the girl you love so much who doesn't like you back, you can start looking elsewhere.

[Itisamuh]

I personally think it's extremely rude to force a friendship onto someone you know is interested in you as more than a friend. It's healthier for them if you just say you're not interested and stop hanging out with them altogether, except as at work or school acquaintances. If you don't, and they really like you, it'll be a long time before they get enough will power or resentment to stop torturing themselves hanging around you, hoping you'll change your mind. Obviously they can't hold a legitimate grudge for you simply not returning their feelings, but you shouldn't string them along.

---------- Post added 2012-07-22 at 12:33 PM ----------

Grow a pair and get over it. You're thinking like a teenager; there are many women out there and you shouldn't keep obsessing over a woman who doesn't appreciate you.

You aren't very friendly, are you? Did it ever occur to you that some people can't just move on from one interest to the next on a whim?

[Letmesleep]

I personally think it's extremely rude to force a friendship onto someone you know is interested in you as more than a friend. It's healthier for them if you just say you're not interested and stop hanging out with them altogether, except as at work or school acquaintances. If you don't, and they really like you, it'll be a long time before they get enough will power or resentment to stop torturing themselves hanging around you, hoping you'll change your mind. Obviously they can't hold a legitimate grudge for you simply not returning their feelings, but you shouldn't string them along.[COLOR="red"]

While I don't think it's "forcing" a relationship, I somewhat agree. Women need to be very careful about how they relate to their guy friends, we're kinda hopeless in some sense and fall way faster than we're willing to admit. Some people are like Charlie Sheen and are just total amoral sex addicts, but most guys secretly want a real relationship. It's not a kind thing to do to string a guy along that you know likes you just because you like the attention. Be a decent human being and make it known that you're not interested in someone if you aren't. If they still choose to be your friend, awesome.

[Mukki]

Well, girls that say this obviously like the personality of the guy. They probably don't like the looks though.

Or there's this crazy phenomenon where people somehow don't really know what they want, and say they want one thing rationally when instinctively it's completely unattractive to them? Also, it's likely not about looks, it's probably because the person she's talking about is a supplicating little wimp.

---------- Post added 2012-07-23 at 12:18 AM ----------

"Friend Zone" is your best friend saying "you're too ugly for me" .... it really is...

"Friend Zone" means you guys are great together.. the only difference between a relationship and a friendship is sex and living together.. and even then, many friends live together but dont have sex...

Point is... when a girl friend zones you... you need to call her out on it... Especially those ones that try to tell you "Why can't I ever find a sweet guy who will listen to me, and respect me, and treat me exactly how you do!""

It's not about looks, it's about confidence and lack of self-respect. Believe it or not, women tend to actually be less shallow than men as a generalization (not saying there aren't shallow women or that all men are shallow).

Oh, and yes, call her out on friend zoning you, I'm sure that will REALLY make her attracted to you. It definitely won't make you look desperate and cause her to start avoiding you.

Lol

[PizzaSHARK]

ITT: Guys who are mortally afraid of rejection make excuses for why that girl they like won't have sex with them.

The short answer is that the friendzone is a real thing, and once you're in it, you're pretty much out of chances to get into that girl's pants, short of rape or what will effectively be rape (e.g. getting her drunk) in most states.

If you or your friend or whatever want to drill that particular oil well, just come out and say it. Don't beat around the bush and try to get to it in some way that will protect you from rejection, because that's just being dishonest to everyone involved. Tell her in no uncertain terms what you want, and if she says no... then, hey, you got rejected. Big deal. Go home, get your bottle of Jergen's, take care of things, and move on.

But stop lying to yourself and to the girls you're interested in. Man up, face the fact that you ARE going to get rejected sometimes, and learn to be confident in yourself. If you aren't pretty, focus on emphasizing the things you DO have going for you. Women love a man that's confident.

[LocNess]

When you enter the friendzone you won't get out, ever.

Unless you're Forest Gump, if you ever get friendzoned then abandon all hope. I'm serious.

Not true! I got out and am now dating a girl that friend zoned me ^_^.

[Deleted]

What is this "friendzone" of which you speak? Are you telling me a man can be ....friends?!....with a.....woman?!?! Preposterous, I call it bullocks.

[PizzaSHARK]

Not true! I got out and am now dating a girl that friend zoned me ^_^.

Doubtful. There's not really any getting out of the friendzone.

[Stelio Kontos]

Not true! I got out and am now dating a girl that friend zoned me ^_^.

Outliers. There's always an exception that proves the point.

[Kerath]

Incoming wall of text. Apologies in advance.

I'm just going to go ahead and say what I said in the last topic like this:

The way I see it, there's 2 scenarios that are usual with this whole 'friend zone' bullshit.
Scenario A) Bob and Sue are friends. It all started out innocently enough. They met, got on well and Bob thought to himself "hey, Sue sure is a cool chick, I'd like to be friends with her."
So they're friends, they hang out, they talk about life, the universe and everything (42) and during the course of the friendship, Bob starts to develop feelings for Sue. Uh oh.

Scenario B) Steve and Mary are friends. Steve secretly likes Mary and always has. But rather than risk being rejected by Mary, Steve decides that being friends with her is better than being nothing to her at all. Hopefully one day Mary will see what an awesome, caring guy he is, how he's always been there for her and decide to be with him. Uh oh.

So what do you do if you're Bob.
Well Bob, it's really very simple. You either "man-up" and tell Sue that your feelings have changed and that you've grown to care for her as more-than-friends. Or if you're incapable of doing that, or you're absolutely certain that she does not return your newly romantic feelings, you put some distance between the two of you until you can sort your feelings out - and then either go your separate ways or actually just be her friend with no expectations other than friendship.

So Steve, how do you sort out your predicament?
Well Steve, the easiest course of action is to not put yourself in the position in the first place. If you're interested in a girl, ask her out. Don't set yourself up as her new BFF if you don't want to be seen as 'just a friend' by her.
If you're already in this predicament, then I'm afraid you have the same options as Bob. You can come clean and tell Mary how you feel and stop trying to insinuate yourself into Mary's life and into Mary's knickers by sheer osmosis. Or you stay the hell away from her until you are capable of just being her friend.

In either case, it's possible that Sue and Mary return the romantic feelings of the poor, hapless Bob and Steve.
But fellas, don't be shocked if the girl sees you as only a friend - Because that's exactly what you've set yourself up for

TL;DR: If you go into a relationship as 'just a friend', it is likely that the woman in question will see you as just a friend. I still don't understand why this concept is so hard to grasp :S
Best option is to 'fess up if you have the bottle, or keep your distance if you don't have the bottle.
Of course, the woman should be honest with you and not string you along keeping you hopeful. A lot of women do the wrong thing here either because they're trying to spare feelings, or because they are not very nice people It fucking sucks to be treated like that.

This is the reason I keep my male friends at arm's length these days. I'll socialise and chat, but the only man I share my deeper thoughts and feelings with is my partner. Too many men misinterpret being a friend and confidant as sexual interest.