Is Chivalry Dead?

[Deleted]

If you dress a certain way that attracts rapists - you are willing to take the risk.

Even when you're already having sex with a girl and she asks you to stop and you refuse to - that's rape. Dressing up really has nothing to do with it.

[FathomFear]

The fact that instead of being grateful, they turn a somewhat kind gesture into a meaningless act.

If you intent is truly to be kind, then it would make sense to hold doors, for example, for all people. This is the approach I take and have never got negative comments.

Now, if it becomes obvious that you're only holding a door just because someone's a woman, then yeah, don't be shocked if you get a poor reaction.

[semaphore]

Now, if it becomes obvious that you're only holding a door just because someone's a woman, then yeah, don't be shocked if you get a poor reaction.

I still don't understand how "it's okay I got it" is such a terrible reaction. People say that all the time about all sorts of things, never realised that I was supposed to be offended.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

I still don't understand how "it's okay I got it" is such a terrible reaction. People say that all the time about all sorts of things, never realised that I was supposed to be offended.

Some guys are a little intimidated that are....not submissive. I know of someone and...well....I'm not going there.

[Sam the Wiser]

This will devolve into a bunch of people sharing anecdotes about how they're chivalrous, and then a bunch of feminists shouting about how it demeans them.

I've seen this topic brought up many times and this right about where it ends up.

[FathomFear]

I still don't understand how "it's okay I got it" is such a terrible reaction. People say that all the time about all sorts of things, never realised that I was supposed to be offended.

I'm not sure how that relates to what I was saying. My point is that if a person makes it glaringly obvious that his or her actions are spurred by a desire to get brownie points with a certain gender versus, well, just being courteous, then some people are going to see through that.

[Lellybaby]

Some guys are a little intimidated that are....not submissive. I know of someone and...well....I'm not going there.

If the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey is anything to go by...... submissive might be the new in thing!

:O

[AmerikanRejekt]

I don't think I am, if this indeed the same Krethos:

Ah, so I was the mistaken one. My bad.

On that note, however, if someone's going to be polite and then you turn around and act like a bitch for literally no reason, you deserve to get the door slammed back in your face. I personally wouldn't do it, but it'd be in the back of my mind for sure.

I still don't understand how "it's okay I got it" is such a terrible reaction.

It isn't. The guy who says it is is just being an idiot.

[semaphore]

I'm not sure how that relates to what I was saying. My point is that if a person makes it glaringly obvious that his or her actions are spurred by a desire to get brownie points with a certain gender versus, well, just being courteous, then some people are going to see through that.

It was not really directed at you. The person you quoted was arguing that "it's okay I got it" is a bad response, and you were saying "well if you do this or that then that's what you'lll get". So I just wanted to point out again it really isn't one to begin with.

---------- Post added 2012-08-06 at 04:02 AM ----------

If the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey is anything to go by...... submissive might be the new in thing!

:O

That's porn though. Not really a good measure of normal daily life.

[Shadowmelded]

Ah, so I was the mistaken one. My bad.

On that note, however, if someone's going to be polite and then you turn around and act like a bitch for literally no reason, you deserve to get the door slammed back in your face.

No worries, reading my post back it did seem like I was referring to that other guy whose antagonist (lol) replied 'I've got it'

I mean a door slammed in your face (as in stopping short of your face but startling you) I can understand, going out of your way to inflict pain on the other person just seems petty, vindictive and uncalled for. I can admit that she was being pretty obnoxious, but two wrongs don't make a right (p.s. I'm hating how often I'm having to use cliches in this thread :< )

If the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey is anything to go by...... submissive might be the new in thing!

:O

I'm still holding out on passive becoming a thing \o/

[AmerikanRejekt]

I mean a door slammed in your face (as in stopping short of your face but startling you) I can understand, going out of your way to inflict pain on the other person just seems petty, vindictive and uncalled for.

What you say is true, but I'm curious to know if he actually hit her with the door, or if there's a little exaggeration going on.

[Aeluron Lightsong]

What you say is true, but I'm curious to know if he actually hit her with the door, or if there's a little exaggeration going on.

Probably but personally I think it was an actual hit basing on what goes on the MMO-Champion Forums.

[Shadowmelded]

What you say is true, but I'm curious to know if he actually hit her with the door, or if there's a little exaggeration going on.

Yeah I'm not entirely convinced that it happened that way either but these are the facts given so I can only respond as such, unless, to try and appear rational they're willing to admit that they exaggerated, which you'd assume they'd be interested in doing if they're attempting to argue from the moral highground. Either way, the mentality shown is the problem, whether he hit her with the door or not.

[Deleted]

No it's not..

[Pool of the Dead]

Yeah I'm not entirely convinced that it happened that way either but these are the facts given so I can only respond as such, unless they're willing to admit that they exaggerated to appear rational. Either way, the mentality shown is the problem, whether he hit her with the door or not.

It was actually the way you explained it "as in stopping short of your face but startling you", I would never intentionally do something to hurt a Female. But enough to Startle her so that she got the point that speaking down to someone just trying to help her out is not a very kind thing to do. I never opened doors specifically TO get thanked, it was just how I was raised by my father to show respect. I think it was more of a showing respect but receiving the opposite that is what grinds my gears. If I open a door for a woman and she says nothing and walks through it, I am not bothered. It is just when they feel the need to try and make it seem like I had a hidden agenda, or am trying to berate them or seem better than them which makes me seethe.

Also it has nothing to do with wanting the woman to feel submissive as someone said, as wouldn't it be more submissive of the guy to be offering help to a woman?

[roflmfao]

I think chivalry was a horde I yanked, so yes, he's dead!

[Shadowmelded]

It was actually the way you explained it "as in stopping short of your face but startling you", I would never intentionally do something to hurt a Female.

In that case, forgive my harsh tone earlier. The way the sentence was structured and your subsequent replies painted an entirely different picture.

As for the rest of your post, if I can offer some advice; Do things like opening the door for people or whatever, expecting no response. You should be doing them because it's the right thing to do, you have the spare time and someone is rushing to the door, it's raining outside etc.... and when someone like that confronts you about it stay calm, she clearly doesn't understand feminism. Feminism =/= misandry. When I see women like that I pity them, because they'll forever be inventing their own worst enemies and constantly living in some form of agitation/anger.

[Letmesleep]

I think it's great to be chivalrous. I walk women to their cars, hold doors open for them, and generally allow them to go first at whatever it is we're both trying to do. I will only date women who are secure enough to allow me to do this for them. If a woman feels the need to shun courtesy in some misguided attempt to claim equality and is uncomfortable being cherished, other guys are that way ---->

[Deleted]

If the popularity of 50 Shades of Grey is anything to go by...... submissive might be the new in thing!

:O

New? It's always been "in".