Why do most jerky people have more succes?

[oblivionx]

There's only one thing I learned from jerks.

You have to toot your own horn, sometimes you have to do whatever you can to document the tooting of your own horn.

Because no one else is gonna do it for you.

[Clous17]

Kind of the main component of being alpha .

[ryotte]

I think it's that they don't mind acquiring their "goods" (be they riches, jobs, love, EPOCHS, whatever) by screwing other people over, lying, or otherwise being unethical, whereas the nice guys/girls play by the rules. That's not to say a nice person can't have some good breaks in life; of course they do! But assholes can get there more easily because they don't have honor. That and as other posters have said, the jerks are more likely to flaunt it while the nice guys sit back and enjoy their lives rather than scream, "LOOK AT ME! I AM RICH! SEE MY NICE THINGS???"

[Deleted]

I'm talking in everything, from girls to money, from being seen as being good at something (different from them actually being good) to having true friends...

I don't know, I'm just starting to feel demoralized in a way seeing all the jerky kids get everything. When I have something more then someone else, I don't act high and mighty on it, plus it just feels they have more succes.

I mean, just looking at neighbours my age...
-there's this guy whose family split and he stood with his dad who trained him and educated him and then around 16 his mother started giving him more pocket money (she was kind of rich) and besides having some friends he god money, he got a car, he even got celebrity, appearing in commercials and some tv shows, he made some firm that rents models (which are actually ladies he sweet-talked) for promotions (you know, like those girls asking you to buy crap in shops), he got whatever girls he wanted etc. and he's a jerk, he has several charges of speeding from police (which he got rid of with money), he treats women like they're all whores, he says he can't wait for his father to die (he's almost 80 now) to get his house etc
-there's this other dude, he got money from start for his father worked in some ministry, he could sway any girls, he got a motorbyke, heck, he has so many money he takes drugs and parties all the time, he almost finished university despite failing several classes (with money). Yet if you look at him, he beats some of the girls he was with, he's a jerk, he likes to wreck stuff etc.
And there are just some examples.

It's not that I envy them, I just see jerky people all over the place having more succes everywhere at most things. Heck, if I open the tv all I see is jerky dudes with a fortune and stupid full of themselves bimbos, and you can't say this is tv only, for, where I'm at, I actually get to see people like this every week almost. Yet whenever I see someone who's nice and talented at something... they seem to have bad luck at most stuff.

Heck, maybe I envy them a bit too, I mean screw this, I'm a nice, creative, loyal, romantic, smart, funny, caring, handy-man, helpful, educated, hard-working dude and even though I just wrote a list of stuff, in general I'm quite modest too, just that now I reached a point where I feel like ... why are jerks getting whatever they want yet I can't get a job related to my expertise (political sciences, but don't look there too, I also look in public relations, game testing, banking, etc quite a few more), I had to work my ass to finish university(just for some jerks to pay their way through, thus making the university feel less important), I'm having problems finding a job (because whatever skill I show, some prick who's the son of the daughter of the cousin of the boss gets the job), and women I liked (who seem to always fall for pricks who treat them like shit and couldn't care less if they fell down a mountain - true happening, I was there to catch her and pull her as she started slipping on snow and she just thanked me, made a small argument with this guy because he didn't help as he just sat there and told me that she's just bluffing and that's it, a small argument).

I don't know, maybe I'm just demoralized but I'm kind of tired of these things happening. I know I should ignore them, but it's kind of hard when whenever I go out I see the prick who lives close to me's Mercedes, when I've seen several times how the recruiters for jobs didn't want me because they had some relative or friend or someone on line or other crap etc. I don't know, maybe it's just about me, maybe I'm sick of jerks and pricks and full of themselves bimbos when I act nice to everyone and treat everyone equally and am loyal and generally friendly. I don't know, in general stuff like this doesn't bother me but it all started to pile up and it just reached a point where it's hard to actually take it anymore.

So, why do you think jerky people have more succes? Or how do you deal with seeing jerky people taking all the laurels?

Two words mate: Gravy train.
Just as many good and pleasant people have success. They're just not in your face about it.

[Jackmoves]

Full blown jerks got a much higher fail rate from my experience, the people that I've met that has been most succesful are the ones who are nice/cool people but don't take no shit from others. Sometimes you you need to have some "rough edges", you can't go through life being mr nice at all times. The way sociaty looks today you need to have some thick skin and even use your elbows to get what you want every now and then otherwise you will be overlooked/miss out. It doesn't necessarily mean you are a jerk or need to act like one, but being firm, steady and unrelentless are attributes that will help you to get somewhere today.

It feels like the world has changed dramatically in my lifetime, you need to be more individualistic now, it does not mean you have to lack compassion for others though. Jerks to me are the self centered types that have no time for others or don't care what other people do. Being competative is not wrong though, as long as you are cool/gracious about it. Don't walk over dead bodies to reach your goals.

[Deleted]

Well, I believe I'm a decent person, and I plan to be highly successful one day.


KEYWORD: Plan. Not hope. Hope means I would leave my shit to luck. Plan means I actively pursue my dreams.

Well, don't we all? It doesn't mean you're a jerk. I don't know you to be honest, so you may be, who knows, but pursuing your success isn't being a jerk.

My biggest problem here is that it seems you are measuring "Success" with wealth.

If you look again, you'll see I talk about loving mates too. But wealth is put there too because I'm unemployed now and can't find a job. Also said why.

I don't think it's a matter of "jerky" people having more success, I think it's a matter of people like that having any success.

But, I've seen it time and time again... a lot of times it's because people like that are always first to toot their own horn, or steal your horn and honk it for themselves.

I don't go into details, but I carry a voice recorder on me.. I carry a police style pocket notepad.. I make people sign stuff that should be a verbal agreement. I do this because there are a lot of people that can not be trusted.

That's actually a good idea. I should do that too.

Money is just one form of success. The reason why money is so critical is because in capitalist economies, time = money. Therefor if you have more money (other factors constant) than you also have more time. People with tons of money can wake up and do anything, they dont have to spend their time working. This could include everything from more time to vacation, more time to be a jerk, or more time to go on mission trips to help unfortunate people around the world. With this correlation, its pretty easy to see how wealth is such an important factor in many peoples version of success. Even people who define success by their own good morals and how they treat their family and others, they should still value money, because people with more money also have more options for helping their family and others.

(Im refering to people who actually have a lot of money, not people who get paid well, there can be a huge difference)

This too, I still live with my mother and she retired and I feel I should be the one supporting her more now, as well as those I find really close. Not having enough money to do that I feel something is wrong.

Have you ever wondered why you are always looking at these jerks?

Have you ever looked at yourself and say, "I just want to better myself"?

What you are doing now is downgrading yourself while you are comparing yourself with them jerks, think that's a smart move? That is probably the worst move in your life, and guess what, thankfully, since you posted here, many people will tell you this will be your wake up call.

Jerks will get whatever they want now, because they don't care about anything or anyone. Girls at your age don't think much about the future either, but when you get older, you'll realise a huge change, where you need to be on your own, having your own family, etc. You probably won't know what I'm talking about until you get to that stage, but when you are there and you realise it, you'll be thankful to your parents that they raised you well.

Life is not about getting your dream job or getting all the girls you want, it's about earning what you want.

That's actually a good point, thanks for writing that, yes, I like earning stuff, it makes it more valuable and important. And for people it earns their absolute trust I didn;t think it that way before.

[Knight Gil]

Well, don't we all? It doesn't mean you're a jerk. I don't know you to be honest, so you may be, who knows, but pursuing your success isn't being a jerk.

Yeah, agree, that's why I said that. People throw around the "good guys finish last" myth too often, and don't realize that the reason they are seeing jerks having more success is because they brag about it more than nice people. Or, they might be butthurt for not achieving the same level of success and start seeing jerks everywhere.

[Reg]

Because us jerks will usually do whatever we can to get ahead, taking the path off the moral high ground. I've done it before and I will do it again if you try to come between me and success.

[oblivionx]

Because us jerks will usually do whatever we can to get ahead, taking the path off the moral high ground. I've done it before and I will do it again if you try to come between me and success.

Yah, the way to deal with this is document. Document everything, because the jerks typically lie to get ahead. They have no moral compass, so they are willing to say or do anything to achieve for themselves. Nothing hurts them more than documentation.

[Knight Gil]

Yah, the way to deal with this is document. Document everything, because the jerks typically lie to get ahead. They have no moral compass, so they are willing to say or do anything to achieve for themselves. Nothing hurts them more than documentation.

Pretty much this. Jerky people have success because decent people let them. They are lazy and conformist.

Truth is:

http://ourvugroup.wikispaces.com/fil...524/banksy.jpg

[Deleted]

I hope you're not one of those kids that thinks just because you're nice to a girl means she must want a relationship with you. That's not how it works.
And the truth is, girls don't like jerks. Girls simply love confidence and looks, and some jerks just happen to have that.

They have no moral center.

Actually, this is a very good point. Most people have morals and ideals and wouldn't do certain stuff.

But the jerks... they don't care. So they can do the stuff most people wouldn't do.
However, I'm not talking about the popular kid next door, I'm talking about the really big jerks... like bankers and politicians.

[Fenixdown]

The girls part is easy to explain. Women like the hot, rich guy who treats them like garbage. Don't ask me why, but they just do.

[Deleted]

I would believe that not all of the rich and successfull people are douces but some are. My guess why is that if they were brought up by parents who gave them everything they didn't really need to care for anyone else or be kind and that's why they act as they do. The ones who didn't wished their whole life that they did and when they finally got rich and successful they felt better than everyone else and acted all douchey.

[galaxiah]

i think the asshole people you refer to as successful are the ones that either
1- grew up with money and already had the arrogance to them (not to mention an unfair advantage over someone less fortunate)
2- usually associated with one, just know people- since pretty much today it's not what you know but who you know
3- have nothing better to offer the world but being a dick and climbing the ladder by shear assholeness
or all three

But for the rest of the population
to be successful on your own you kind of have to be assertive which can come off as being a jerk, but those guys aren't always bad guys they just get shit done, you can't let people walk all over you and sometimes that just comes off as being kind of jerky (not the delicious dried beef)

You also don't see the nice successful people in the spotlight very often, because they don't make themselves known or flaunt their success as much. But they exist.

[oblivionx]

I can tell you from personal experience that nothing is better than watching someone try to lie and shift blame to you only to be presented with documentation that they are liars.

[Destruktion]

Because "jerky people" exude confidence, and confidence is an extremely attractive character trait. Women will put up with whatever other garbage comes with it because at least they're getting a man who acts like a man.

[oblivionx]

Because "jerky people" exude confidence, and confidence is an extremely attractive character trait. Women will put up with whatever other garbage comes with it because at least they're getting a man who acts like a man.

Hence a high divorce rate haha.

[Strah]

Eat or be eaten.

As someone stated that's one of the things that makes you look like an alpha - treating others like crap. And weak people tend to follow "alphas", hence their success. People like being around winners. And being a jerk makes you somewhat look like a winner.

[Destruktion]

Hence a high divorce rate haha.

Indeed10chars

[Knight Gil]

Eat or be eaten.

As someone stated that's one of the things that makes you look like an alpha - treating others like crap. And weak people tend to follow "alphas", hence their success. People like being around winners. And being a jerk makes you somewhat look like a winner.

Oh my god, when did this "successful people are jerks" trend started? I could find many successful, competent people that are decent...